I've recently been struggling with my mental health and have spent a week straight at home alone as I have been signed off from work.
A guy I was dating for a few weeks last year recently got in touch and asked if I wanted to go over to his last night. From what I can remember he was a sweet guy but things just fizzled out. I really wanted some company so I told him that I wasn't feeling that great and might not be the best company but decided to go anyway. I really just wanted to have a chat with someone familiar and take my mind off things for a while and also just lie next to someone.
He started to kiss me which I went along with but then he tried to initiate sex. I explained I am on tablets that make me not want to have sex (it was an excuse really to get out of it) but he was so persistent that I felt at the time it would be easier to just let him and then I could sleep. We had sex with a condom and I explicitly explained that I had just had my coil removed so to not come near me without one.
After that, I tried to go to sleep but he tried to initiate sex again by rubbing himself on me while my back was turned and he put a condom on. I told him I didn't want sex so he just carried on wanking and rubbing himself on me from behind. I just lay there hoping he would finish himself off and I could sleep but then he put it inside and at this point I just wanted him to finish.
It only lasted a few seconds and he pulled out to cum but when I felt the cum I realised he wasn't wearing a condom. I left as soon as I woke up this morning and he has been texting saying sorry.
I'm so angry that he not only pressured me into having sex but now I have to go through all the embarrassment of finding somewhere open today that sells the morning after pill.
I just feel used and disgusting and my anxiety is through the roof now! I can't believe I let this happen and that my judgement of people is so poor. I know I should have been firmer about saying no and just left his house but I really hate conflict and felt quite vulnerable last night.
I feel 100 times worse and should have just stayed at home where I know I am safe.
I guess I just needed to vent here as I do t have anyone I can talk to about this IRL.
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Relationships
He had sex with me without a condom and I didn't know
Beansandqueens · 30/09/2017 08:51
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