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Telling someone your like them

(48 Posts)
Olilou01 Fri 29-Sep-17 23:47:46

Hi just looking for suggestions.

Today my co worker told someone I like them, his reaction was im flattered, no hint of but I've got a girl friend so tell her, no hint of hmm not my type so tell her, but he thanked her for telling him and said he had same situ before where he liked someone he couldn't tell them and added people should tell others how they feel.
Not bumped into him yet as I avoided our usual break time bumping into . I told her to tell him as I'm painfully unable to. Ps I have a scar on my face that stopped me due to rejection.

Any ideas if u think the above is a not interested.
Ps she said that when he knew it was me he was smiling an seemed happy abt it then went on to say the above.

Am I in or am I out of luck this time..

Olilou01 Fri 29-Sep-17 23:49:19

Would he of told her not interested, never done this thing before so not savvy with what situ would be either way..

PressForPancakes Fri 29-Sep-17 23:53:39

I think it's very difficult to tell. I guess it's a good sign he looked happy but what did you expect him to say to her? He may like you but I think you need to talk to him yourself. Even if he isn't interested in dating you, it's much better to know! Nothing ventured, nothing gained... smile

Tameagobairanois Fri 29-Sep-17 23:56:53

I think he was being very decent not revealing to the go between how he feels about you.

''Thank you for telling me'' is a perfect reply to such a potentially embarrassing situation, potentially for you, potentially for him! He took the opportunity to 'live off the gossip'' away from your colleague. Not saying she is a gossip, but if he has any thoughts it sounds like he would rather not play he said she said behind the bike shed.

Olilou01 Sat 30-Sep-17 00:16:40

So do u think the I think people should tell scene how they feel was a way of conveying a message that he does like me, we been flirting for ages far as I see it. I just never had courage to strike a convo with him, an when he did, he didn't see my male pal chatting to me an we both blanked him when he tried to come in on our convo. But I blanked him cause I froze up that he took balls to move in on convo after we locked eyes .

Tameagobairanois Sat 30-Sep-17 00:21:26

honestly, I am not sure I understand your last message. But the next time you see him, force yourself to look him in the eye and say 'hey, how are you?''. It's the far LESS embarrassing course of action, if staring at the floor is the other option.

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Sat 30-Sep-17 01:15:34

don't avoid your usual bumping into him on break, Op- try to look all breezy and normal, it's then up to him to approach you - or if he looks awkward and avoids, then you'll know too - as you've been flirting it's likely he'll be interested - but give him a chance (don't hide)!

LoveforPGTipsMonkey Sat 30-Sep-17 01:16:26

haha to many dashes in my message! (too late for me)

Olilou01 Sat 30-Sep-17 10:28:25


TangledSlinky Sat 30-Sep-17 20:18:09

I wouldn't read too much into it if I were you. "I'm flattered" could mean anything from "shit this is awkward" to "great she likes me too". The only way you'll know for sure is if you strike up a conversation with them wink

Olilou01 Sat 30-Sep-17 20:53:52

Really feeling the weekend closing fast. Im panicing now what if he is angry i told them an he feels like the gossiped abt. What if it makes it so bad i have to leave my job. Im a single parent as well ong what have they done .

TangledSlinky Sat 30-Sep-17 21:39:03

I think you're overreacting slightly. Worst case he might put some distance between you but I very much doubt he'll be angry enough that you'd feel the need to leave your job.

Grab a glass of wine and relax, what will be will be smile

Olilou01 Mon 02-Oct-17 19:48:03

Update, no sign today, dnt see him everyday but was at least expecting a bump into. Asked girl who was with worker when she told him an she said it wasn't a no just a nice reaction. Then y no sign of him. Anxiety of not knowing how he will react to this is bloody getting to me now.

Olilou01 Mon 02-Oct-17 19:51:42

Could of just told her to say not interested or got g.f just something to go on would of been nice, I knw he dnt owe me anything as we dnt knw one another, but him saying he been in same situ should of at least made him think abt how I would of wanted to knw seeing as she told him on my behalf, or am I been an idiot . Maybe tomo or the next day il get an answer but til then.... I swear I dreamt abt him but in my dream I couldn't open my eyes to see who it was asking me to talk to them, came over to my car window my eyes literally wouldn't open. Man of my dreams is IN my dreams 😂😜

Olilou01 Mon 02-Oct-17 21:12:51


TangledSlinky Mon 02-Oct-17 22:26:18

I think you need to relax. Your colleague is under no obligation to tell you how they feel. Rest assured if they're into you they'll tell you, and if not they'll probably steer clear of you to spare your feelings and any potential awkwardness.

Olilou01 Sat 07-Oct-17 15:32:20

Hmm someone explain to me why we locked eyes. Even though he walked from behind me, an must have known i was there. Why not avoid locking eyes if not interested now he is sure that i am. I dnt get it. There wrre guys there already so not talking maybe because people present an he was walking back in from break. One more thing, one of my collegues told me they liked me an i polilty to him not happening. But when guy the eye locking happened this guy that told me he liked me watched us like a hawk whilst it happened. The at next break he says i see u saw ur mate today. If one i like locked eyes an other one saw it. Why would he comment if eye locking didnt look like we lke eachother. Am i making sense. I dnt get it. Would ge of said anything if it looked like otger guy wasnt interested. See in my mind he wouldnt of, cause he would of noted that other ones not jnto me so no need to be jrlous . Right wrong?.

Olilou01 Sat 07-Oct-17 17:27:46


PhoenixMama Sat 07-Oct-17 19:22:55

You’re overthinking this massively. Why don’t you just ask him out. Do it over email if you need to. You’re just constantly asking us questions about it that can only be answered by him.

Olilou01 Sat 07-Oct-17 21:16:38

Cause I dnt have anyone to talk to abt it, plus it's an advice place, just wanted to know why he would lock eyes if he knows I now like him, wouldn't a guy avoid doing it if he weren't interested

Lexieblue Sat 07-Oct-17 22:19:01

He sounds like quite a nice guy tbh OP and maybe he was trying to make eye contact to strike up a conversation with you knowing you are embarrassed. You've lost nothing here; if he likes you even if you're too shy to do the asking, he will find a way to ask you out. If he doesn't, he behaved respectfully when your colleague told him. Take some deep breaths and if you can't bear the thought of asking him out, forget you said anything.

But I think you should ask him out, worst that can happen is he says no!

TangledSlinky Sat 07-Oct-17 22:22:55

I honestly think you're overthinking things. If the feeling was mutual you'd know already. If he's not said anything I think it's safe to assume he's not interested. If you disagree just blooming well ask him out, that way you'll know for sure either way rather than driving yourself mad trying to look for meaning in the most innocuous of things.

Olilou01 Sun 08-Oct-17 12:01:49

One more week. Thats it. Then i guess il know for sure look im sirry if i annoyed anyone but, doesnt feel comfy talkin to collegues or friends . Outsuders view i thought would help. Yeah i am over thinking it. But ive not felt butterflies for long time now since my ds dad an i met an we been split for 5yrs. Thinking abt it now if we did work it out an see one anotger what if it went wrong. One of us would leave job cause seeing eachotyer be awkward. O i dnt know. Sorry anyhows an thanks for taking time out to reply.

SendintheArdwolves Sun 08-Oct-17 12:10:40

Honestly? You sound really young. Asking your mate to tell him you like him, angsting over him looking at you and WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN?

Take a deep breath. Either ask him out or don't. But you are not a spectator, anxiously hoping that he is interested enough to pick you out of the crowd. You are the protagonist in your own story, and protagonists make decisions and take action. If he likes you, great. If he doesn't, I daresay you will survive it.

AtrociousCircumstance Sun 08-Oct-17 12:19:33

You won't have to lead your job. Did the colleague you declined leave his job because you weren't interested?

It doesn't have to be that big a deal. I understand you've worked yourself into a frenzy because you still don't know, but you're just tormenting yourself.

I get the impression he's not interested because 'I'm flattered' is a way of saying 'wow that's a nice compliment, but...'

However I may be wrong - try to stop obsessing and go about your job in your usual fashion, being professional. See what he does. Be relaxed and friendly when you see him. If you're moody/upright he'll run a mile.

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