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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

DH has died and Squirrels broke the last thread without a link to this one! (Juan)

976 replies

Chasingsquirrels · 26/09/2017 20:01

Oh dear - I just posted the 1000 thread. Hope we all find this one.

Selena hugs back.
I just miss him, not particular things as such, just the essence of John.
And if I think about that I just ache for him and tears just leak from my eyes.
So, mostly, I don't think about it I just carry on.

OP posts:
Horsemad · 26/09/2017 20:08

Checking in Smile

Flowers for you chasing, and for Selena too. You are both doing brilliantly, you really are.

bookbook · 26/09/2017 20:38

Just come down from a bath , started to read the thread and it was full.
Chasing - oh it is so hard, even with someone backing you , even harder without. I suspect not thinking about him most of the time, means when you do, its even more of a blow .
My heart goes out to you , and Selena . Vent away on here, get it off your chest , we are here to listen and hold your hand .
I have just been running around today - something and nothing things. Then I got a call from my friendly farmer to say today was the day he could deliver my load of manure to the allotment .... So DH and I have been shovelling manure . I will be doing it tomorrow too . Oh how wonderful life is . At least it was sunny
Willow - once you have got some time under your belt, it will all be easier I bet.
Right - off to watch GBBO

TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 26/09/2017 20:45

Hello all of you

Thanks Squirrel I was toying with starting one, but bed time got in the way. All quiet here. Sitting in bed and I'm still trying to catch up with Dr Foster from last week. Saving GBBO for when DD and I can watch it together.

Juan has been in touch. She mentioned her woolly hug - I said I have no idea about it, but thought that you might book?

Sending love and thoughts to everyone struggling tonight for whatever reason.

Willow good luck for tomorrow, I'm sure you'll be fine - I can't stand cafe Nero (but I don't drink coffee). We have a good few local ones that I love anything with cake really

Night night all x

Willow2017 · 26/09/2017 21:24

Thanks Squirrels found you😉

Cake we all like different things which I suppose makes the world go round. Maybe I wouldn't like the one in your town😀 it's partly the coffee and croissants and partly how lovely the staff are. Fingers crossed for a quiet night your end.

Book
What a lovely job bet your back is aching.

Flowers for Squirrels and Selena

SelenaValentina · 26/09/2017 21:59

Thank you squirrels and thank you all of you. Yes, I don't think too often and just plough on - kitchen, holidays, drinking coffee in 'my' cafe, chatting to the regulars, several of whom have been in a similar boat.

I'm older, so it's almost expected that a woman will be in this position, because we usually are. I'm lucky enough to have such happy memories and not having to grieve a poor relationship at the same time as the loss, which can often happen (counsellor head on here, sorry!!).

Onward and upward, bearing up (not down at my age anyway). Now for some hot chocolate Brew.

Sleep well everyone, better day tomorrow for us all - although maybe not for you, book, oh dear, pun intended, muck spreading - but in the real sense Grin of the term.

bookbook · 26/09/2017 22:26

Evening
just put my crotchet down.
Back not too bad Willow - its a strong one , probably due to lifting books for 30 years . Hope tomorrow goes well too - longer hours did I see?
Selena - makes for better fruit and veg, so not a wasted chore . Just has to be done :)
Cake - I'm fairly new to the MN special Woolly Hugs blankets - the first one I did was sent out just about a year after the appeal for helpers.
( This seems to be the norm from the later ones I have helped on as well ) but I don't know for certain. I can ask the ladies who run it if you think that would be a good idea?
Sleep well all
Thoughts and Prayers

TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 27/09/2017 06:45

Book thanks, if you can maybe ask about time scales...that would be helpful.

Morning you lot, hope that you all got some sleep. Didn't do too badly, but for some reason watching Dr Foster really messes with my head (Re: ex-H).

Selena you sound so wise.

Willow I think the staff makes such a big difference. The two I like are great for both hot choc & cake and customer service. One cheap and cheerful and one not, so depends on the time of the month and how my bank acc is looking Wink

Squirrel thinking of you this morning too.

Horse any word from DS? How is work?

Long day today, so best unpack the dishwasher and get going!

Horsemad · 27/09/2017 06:57

Cake, he's ok thanks Smile I am trying not to bombard him with questions although I did ask him what he'd had for tea the other day then realised that I sounded like Barbara off the Royle Family! GrinGrinGrin

Re coffee shops, I love Caffé Nero or Costa but am less keen on Starbucks. No idea why though!

Work is good this week - boss is off so it is nice and calm Grin
I'm off today and meeting a friend for coffee this morning, so looking forward to a good catch up there. Smile

Hope everyone has a nice day.

Willow2017 · 27/09/2017 08:29

Morning all.

Very cold wind today autumn on the way. Love the autumn colours though.

Horse not a fan of Starbucks either their pastries are always dry and tasteless. I would be itching to txt or call if it was my ds hard not to worry just a bit.😀

Off to work shortly. Will be there longer today cue long walk from all day car Park in wind😐 will need a coffee to warm me up😀

TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 27/09/2017 13:25

Hope all has gone well Willow. Just stopping off quickly before the banana muffins need to come out of the oven.

Horse that sounds like a good way to spend some time. I met a friend and we walked and had cake and let the children play.

Never set foot in a Starbucks! Sounds like I'm not missing anything Grin

Willow2017 · 27/09/2017 13:39

Hi Cake.
Well yes and no! Spent a couple of hours getting nowhere fast with things, some stuff has no brand names, some are fake but take an age to actually find this out but thats how it goes. But got there in the end for quite a few things.
But got a txt from ds2, he had forgotten his mouth guard for rugby! So had to leave earlier than planned, leg it up to the car (bloody half a mile), home and take it too school. Then found out that lunch is later than he thought so I could have stayed another half hour! Oh and went to coop for something, dropped my purse and bent down and smacked my head on the nice metal bar sticking out for hanging bags on! No highlight paint on it to warn you, its practically invisible against the grey/blue background! Have a nice long dent in my forehead Grin I was ready to cry by time I got back to car! Oh well KBO.

Send banana muffins please to cheer me up Wink

Chasingsquirrels · 27/09/2017 17:36

Oww Willow, poor you!
Ds2 lost his mouth guard at school this week, fell out of his pe bad, despite me saying to put it in his main bag side pocket. Have ordered 2 new ones off eBay as he needs for hockey so can leave one in his hockey bag and one in his school bag.

Cake sounds good Cake Smile.

Missed a phone call from ds2's firm teacher and had a message an email to ask when I'd be free to talk to her, nothing wrong just wants a chat about him (hmm right!). They've had PHSE day today, he doesn't seem to think there is a problem so see what she says. I don't think school have ever contacted about ds1 so I'm not used to it!

OP posts:
TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 27/09/2017 18:42

Hey, ouch Willow have some Cake they came out nicely Grin

Hope it's nothing serious Squirrel

Off to jog in a minute....

Horsemad · 27/09/2017 18:53

Ooh Willow, that sounds painful! Hope it is not too sure now.

chasing, it's probably nothing to worry about, maybe just the teacher touching base with you.

I've had a lovely day, just chatting and eating cake ☺️ LOVE days like that!

Back to the grindstone tomorrow - need to win the Lottery! Grin

Horsemad · 27/09/2017 19:02

Grrr, autocorrect - hope it is not too SORE now!

SelenaValentina · 27/09/2017 20:07

I want to win the Lottery too, Horse, so I can escape this miserable weather to somewhere sunny - I suppose it helps to buy a ticket? I've been a lady who lunches today! I also collected the elephants.

A volunteer at the local hospice makes beautiful elephants from clothing you provide. So I have 6 - all of them with Red Arrows' logo of one size or another (dear to DH's heart) from shirts and tops - I think Christmas presents for family? Plus one for me of course.

squirrel, why do they do that? Why not just say what it is?

Willow, dig out the witch hazel - poor you having 'one of those days'.

Cake send some Cake over to the wet North West - please!

Horsemad · 27/09/2017 20:38

Selena, the elephants sound brilliant - what a great way to remember your DH❤️ A solitary Red flew over us the other day, haven't seen them for a while so it was nice to see.

Chasingsquirrels · 27/09/2017 20:41

Enjoy your jog cake.
Nice days are good horse.
Buying a ticket would help Selena but probably not much Smile. I can understand why the teacher didn't say what in a message but I don't like waiting! Elephants sound lovely.

OP posts:
Somerville · 27/09/2017 20:45

Hello all.
Sorry at being useless at keeping up.
I do like it when I've found some time to sneak onto MN, and then I see the latest iteration of this thread pop up in active.
Hope you're all doing okay.

TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 27/09/2017 20:55

That sounds great Selena a friend who's ex suddenly died leaving their two boys got blankets made from his shirts.

Horse sounds like you had a great day.

Here you go everyone - have some cake Cake

Tomorrow involves more baking as the school is doing McM cake sale on Friday.

I've just run for 20 minutes continuously which I haven't done for a while. Was raining and got quite wet, but in the end on my cool down walk, I just tried to enjoy the rain on my face, the sounds etc. Quite soothing.

Hope you all have a peaceful evening.

Willow2017 · 27/09/2017 21:09

Evening all.
Sounds like lovely days all round.

Have another 1 & 3/4lb sloes tonight. And the nettle stings and thorn scratches to prove it 😀😀probably still got some foliage un my hair.

Squirrels hope the call is just a heads up probably nothing serious if they haven't tried harder to contact you.

Selena
You win the prize for best line of the day. "I also collected the elephants" that stopped me in my tracks. 😀😀
They sound lovely.

Cake Thanks for the muffin.

Chasingsquirrels · 27/09/2017 21:12

Hey Somer hope everything is going swimmingly and you are all besotted.

Willow well she called home (and spoke to ds2!), called my mobile (which I missed) and left a message and then emailed asking when would be a good time to call tomorrow - so there is no way it is nothing. Wait and see ....
Are you making sloe cheese again? I saw damson cheese online the other day.

OP posts:
Somerville · 27/09/2017 21:27

Yes we are, thanks. Enjoying him so much.

I hate when teachers go ... "can I have a quiet word? nothing to worry about..." Sympathies. Hope it is, indeed, nothing to worry about.

Willow2017 · 27/09/2017 22:00

Squirrels
Didn't realise they had tried so many times thought the message was the email sorry. Fingers crossed it's just a minor blip.

Have all the sloes in the freezer. Might try at weekend. Will try half quantity just so have more if I muck it up😀

Somer nice to see you and everything is going well.

TheWorldIsMyCakePop · 28/09/2017 06:52

Morning all

It's horrid when you get a phone call from your 4 year old's school saying he's fine but.... luckily no phone calls yet this year...

Hope you get to speak to each other this morning Squirrels

Ah Somer I'm so pleased for you all. How has MIL been behaving? She was a bit over interested before the birth wasn't she?

Willow I hope you got all the leaves out of your hair. Are you off to work again? I'm sure by next week you'll have found your feet.

book did you shovel all your poo? Grin

See you all later x

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