My older sister has been compiling a family tree for years. Our parents died a few years ago.
I'm the youngest of 3 by a decade and both my brother and sister remember me being born. It's always been apparent that I came along quite late and was probably unplanned- parents were both in their 40's. I had a difficult relationship with my mother for lots of reasons and for much of my childhood she suffered from depression.
To cut a long story short. My sister and few cousins have had DNA tests to try and shed some light on a mystery in our great grandparents time. I agreed to have one and never thought anymore about it. Except mine came back and clearly showed that I am only related to one side of the family. My brother and sister are my half siblings. Basically my/our Dad is not my father.
This is a huge shock. I'm nearly 50. None of us had any idea. Although as time goes by I realise this explains a lot, they have remembered events that didn't make sense. The outstanding thing for me is that my mum once told me she tried to kill herself when I was born. I carried that weight with me for years, all the guilt, wondering why she didn't love me- all the emotional crap that that brings with it have affected me all my life.
In lots of ways none of it matters, I was closest to my Dad, it doesn't change that, I'm sure he didn't know and I'm not about to go searching for another family. But I'm angry and I'm hurt and I just feel that all my life has been a lie and I'll probably never find out the truth. There's no one left to ask anyway. The issue is that this has opened up all sorts of emotions about my relationship with my mum that I've had therapy for and dealt with over the years and I'm struggling with it.
Long time poster on new account but have also name changed.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm not who I thought I was
thedowntontrout · 25/09/2017 12:23
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.