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Should I contact him?

(24 Posts)
cakecakecheese Mon 25-Sep-17 11:22:16

I posted a couple of weeks ago that I needed to break up with someone because I just wasn't feeling it. I then updated that he didn't take it well and smashed my phone. I've not been in contact with him since then.

On Friday I found out that he has cancer. I don't know any details. If it was a friend then I'd contact them and send them best wishes but given the way it ended would that even be a good idea?

Velvetbee Mon 25-Sep-17 11:25:14


Ellisandra Mon 25-Sep-17 11:25:18

Hell no.

foodiefil Mon 25-Sep-17 11:26:52

No no no

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 25-Sep-17 11:27:01

Hmm a cancer diagnosis just after being dumped. How likely is that?

Had he actually had symptoms and an appointment with the hospital before you finished? You realise a GP won't diagnose cancer, don't you?

CatsAreLikeChocolates Mon 25-Sep-17 11:28:01

Yes, but he's not a friend though is he? Friends don't go about having phone smashing tantrums. It's ok to be sad and worried about someone being ill, but I really think it would be a bad idea to get back in contact with your ex.

Justdontknow4321 Mon 25-Sep-17 11:33:45

No, leave him alone

Ellisandra Mon 25-Sep-17 11:35:28

Is this the boyfriend who kept accidentally kicking you?

Ellisandra Mon 25-Sep-17 11:35:41

(because that still makes it a no!)

DancesWithOtters Mon 25-Sep-17 11:39:48

Who told you he has cancer?

VonHerrBurton Mon 25-Sep-17 11:41:02

Hmmm. Unsure about the cancer diagnosis, personally. I'm sure he would have been undergoing some kind of tests, having symptoms, at least showing concern over how he was feeling... maybe not I'm not a doctor.

As pp said it seems a real coincidence. If he's lying, that's very sinister and I'd be cutting all contact. You don't need friends like that

Ellisandra Mon 25-Sep-17 11:44:05

Hmmm, I assumed (not sure why) that this was a guy you'd had a few dates with - so you wouldn't know about any health issues. But actually you'd been with him for nearly a year? So yeah, I'm suspicious about the speed of this diagnosis too.

It happens... but even if it is true, I still would keep well away from a man who kept accidentally bashing and kicking me, and then trashed my phone.

Cancer doesn't cure arsehole.

cakecakecheese Mon 25-Sep-17 11:46:18

Yes I know how cancer is diagnosed. He had health issues for some time and tests at the hospital just before we broke up.

Yes it is the guy who would kick me by accident but not apologise and said it was me exaggerating.

MyBrilliantDisguise Mon 25-Sep-17 12:23:30

Yes it is the guy who would kick me by accident but not apologise and said it was me exaggerating.

Maybe he will be kicking himself now for treating you so badly at a time when he needs help. Whatever the case, he's not your friend - he treated you really badly and you'd be a complete fool to contact him now.

category12 Mon 25-Sep-17 12:33:10

He kicked you and he smashed your phone. Cancer doesn't change an arsehole into a decent guy. Stay away.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Mon 25-Sep-17 12:37:51

Lucky you - it's somebody else's job to put up with the nasty fucker. Cancer hasn't suddenly made him a nicer man you know. .

hellsbellsmelons Mon 25-Sep-17 12:43:27

Absolutely not.
Do not contact him.
Leave him be and move on with your life.

expatinscotland Mon 25-Sep-17 12:47:39

NFW! The only number you should be ringing is The Freedom Programme so you can get on a course and learn to dump anyone who 'accidentally' kicks you and then gaslights you, doesn't take no for an answer, etc. He's an abusive cunt.

GoldenOrb Mon 25-Sep-17 12:48:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GoldenOrb Mon 25-Sep-17 12:49:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HailLapin Mon 25-Sep-17 12:50:39


Huskylover1 Mon 25-Sep-17 13:54:05

No! Why on earth would you think that's a good idea?

MadMags Mon 25-Sep-17 13:55:00

Are you joking??

cakecakecheese Mon 25-Sep-17 15:35:32

Wow that's unanimous, thanks everyone for being very honest and direct with me.

Er well I guess if I hear someone has had bad news then I want to express my sympathy, another ex has mouth cancer and I sent him my love, but we finished on friendly terms so that made more sense.

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