My DH and I have been separated 2 years for a number of reasons. He is really keen to try again, for the sake of the whole family. I feel very unsure and am not making any promises but we seem to get on a lot better now some of the pressures have gone and wonder if he is right we should be trying. We live separately and I would never change this unless 100% sure. He suggests we start by doing kind acts for each other every week, something to make the other one's life a little easier. I'm struggling with ideas!! Maybe that says it all! Any wise mumsnetters have any ideas? I don't have a key for his car or flat so can't get in to do anything there otherwise that would make things a lot easier...
I don't actually want a key to his place. More looking for ideas I can do remotely. I may start with booking a massage, he is having trouble sleeping (as am I hence still being awake....) or ordering some of that sleepy pillow spray to be delivered. Acts that make us think of the other person is the idea
What's wrong with a few dates? Tell me to sod off but I'm not really catching the rationale. HE wants to reconcile so HE is insisting on this thing you sound a bit bemused by. Shouldn't he be wooing you if he wants you?
He may be very keen but you don't appear to be. Don't forget you seperated for a reason and he's bound to be showing you his best side just now if he's hoping to win you back. You managed to get off the wheel, think very long and very hard before you jump back on again.
re your comment:- "He is really keen to try again, for the sake of the whole family".
Ah that old chestnut; he's very good isn't he?. He's trying to tug at your heartstrings here, it all seems very manipulative from him. He is an ex for very good reasons and needs to stay an ex. Is probably as well fed up with not having anyone to look after him.
You also do not appear to be keen. Infact I would now consider raising your current too low boundaries with him even higher and stick only to e-mail conversations about the children and no other subject.
Such entitled men really do not change; he may well be acting "nice" enough for just long enough to draw you back in. Then he will default to type.