Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Do you think if you love each other...

(16 Posts)
MmmmmmmChips Sat 23-Sep-17 20:48:35

But have totally different opinions about just about everything causing arguments that it can still work?

Lumpylumperson Sat 23-Sep-17 20:51:22

I don't know. Disagreeing? Fine. Constant arguemebts? Not great, if you can communicate effectively together then arguments should be rare not constant.

HailLapin Sat 23-Sep-17 20:51:38

I think it depends on whether your values are the same and if you want the same things from the relationship.

IrritatedUser1960 Sat 23-Sep-17 20:52:10

The love at the beginning of the relationship doesn't last very long. You need something a bit more than that to sustain a relationship long term, if you haven't got anything in common at this stage and have loads of arguments it's going to be an uphill struggle.
I suppose you have to ask yourself - do you think he is worth it?

RainyApril Sat 23-Sep-17 20:52:31

Depends what your disagreeing about, and whether you are people who can respect someone else's viewpoint.

Disagreeing about parenting, chores and other issues integral to happy family life would be insurmountable I think.

Disagreeing about politics or religion, for example, would be possible if there was still mutual respect imo.

Sofabitch Sat 23-Sep-17 20:55:17

No. Love is just chemically induced.

Relationships require way more than love.

WhooooAmI24601 Sat 23-Sep-17 20:56:03

I think it depends. DH is very different to me; he was raised in an entirely different sort of family set-up and our views differ in many ways. Politically we differ a great deal (though he's softening and leaning further left as he ages and the children wear him down) and in our work/careers we're very different (he runs a company, I teach, he's very black and white while I look for the grey areas and give the benefit of the doubt).

However, we both have similar parenting styles, moral codes and expectations of one another. We're both honest, straightforward and good to each other. We also don't argue regularly. If we did, I'd have thought twice before marrying him because the occasional argument is fine but constant ones are soul-destroying.

Autumnskiesarelovely Sat 23-Sep-17 20:56:15

Arguments all the time? No. Disagreeing, fine - why does it have to lead to arguments?

What is it you do like about each other?
Do you have very different values e.g. How children should be educated, where to live, social lives? That might be hard for compatibility.

Houseofmirth66 Sat 23-Sep-17 21:25:18

I'm not being flippant when I say that Brexit has put a considerable strain on our relationship. The disagreements have unearthed some fairly fundamental differences in our views on a range of related subjects which, only now and many years into the relationship, seem much more important. It has genuinely made me think about our compatibility.

TableMirror Sat 23-Sep-17 21:29:36

I knew i was going to marry DH because not only do I love him, but we share the same major life goals. We don't agree on everything but we agree on the big things (where to live, children, education of said children, money).

RunRabbitRunRabbit Sat 23-Sep-17 21:35:16

DH and I disagree about lots of things but rarely argue. We have very similar values in general and want the same things for our children.

Why are your differences of opinion turning into arguments?

Voice0fReason Sat 23-Sep-17 22:25:54

Depends how you disagree. If it ends up in arguments then it isn't a good sign.

itusedtobeverydifferent Sat 23-Sep-17 22:29:51

My husband and I often have different opinions - politely we're very different although he's begging to see things my way. We don't argue about such things, a good debate, yes, but not arguing. I love a good debate!

SweetLuck Sat 23-Sep-17 22:39:11


SweetCrustPastry Sun 24-Sep-17 05:59:45

Think it depend if you respect each other's views or not.

Ifailed Sun 24-Sep-17 06:43:00

No. disagreements and arguments early on can sometimes seem not to bad because you are still at the stage where kissing and making up is a thrill. Wind forward a few years and it will be a mass of seething ressentiment and sulking.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: