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Should I catfish the ex? He's contacted me via OLD site

(86 Posts)
AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:06:19

I left my ex some time ago now and am happy without him dragging me down.

There's a thread about it here :

Anyway, I've signed up to an OLD site, I have a profile name that's nothing like my own, I have private pictures (which he's not yet asked to see) and my profile describes me to a T.

So, imagine my surprise when my ex messaged me via the site, saying that said profile sounded amazing (of course it is, it's totally true grin ) and he'd like to get to know me better. We've chatted for a couple of hours and my responses have all been truthful. He's bullshitting a little bit.

Then I thought back over the last few months, where his phone was never out of his sight, he'd take it with him when he went out of the room, he'd always leave it lying face down and would sometimes fret quietly if he had to hand it to me for any reason.

And this may or may not be coincidental hmm but he has an open FB profile, but his friends list is hidden. But women, who live miles away, with no familial or friends links, were liking his (boring) pictures and comments. When I asked, he'd always just brush it off and say it was someone he'd known for years that he still talks to occasionally.

Im not wasting any emotional energy on being angry about what he may have been up to. It was my choice to leave. Im so glad that I did. I dont think he actually met any of these women IRL, they all seem to live at least 200 miles away and his car and van would never make it that distance. And he's too tight to pay for the fuel

Is this too good an opportunity to miss? I could have hours of fun with this. The opportunity to lead him on and have a chance at giving him a big let down and watching the fallout from a safe distance is almost too good to resist ...

And its somewhat satisfying to note that all his profile pics make him look just like the scruffy no-hoper that he is. What WAS i thinking?? sad I asked him what the competition was like and he said there wasn't any at the moment ...

I met up with his mum and his sister this week, he's telling them that he really misses me. Oh well, never mind, there there.

AttilaTheMeerkat Sat 23-Sep-17 16:16:33

Revenge is a dish best served cold. Your best revenge here is to ignore him by blocking him and live well without him. You are better than to merely catfish him.

Ellisandra Sat 23-Sep-17 16:18:53

The sensible answer is to just ghost him now.
But I totally understand your mischievous impulse!!

Sn0tnose Sat 23-Sep-17 16:21:34

Don't do it.

I totally understand the temptation, but do not do it. You've got him out of your life. Don't invite his bullshit back in. Plus, if you ever drop yourself in it and he twigs that it's you, he's going to tell anyone who'll listen that you're a crazy stalker. Your dignity will go out of the window.

Delete and block. It will be more effective to make him wonder why his usual patter hasn't worked. If you absolutely can't resist, (please try) tell him he's not what you're after. Then block quickly.

kittybiscuits Sat 23-Sep-17 16:23:38

Wow. What a temptation. I think I might just string him along and keep him dangling. But ghosting is probably more sensible.

TheNaze73 Sat 23-Sep-17 16:24:56


Wheresmytaco Sat 23-Sep-17 16:27:11

I'd want to do it but really if he figures it out he's just going to think you're bitter. Ignore the twat.

He may also have copped on and guessed it was you? Either setting up some sort of weird You've Got Mail scenario, or trying to get you hooked and ghost you!

AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:27:34

Hmmm ...maybe it would be better to just blow him out of the water now and tell him who I am instead. grin

Shame, as he's actually making an effort for a change

kittybiscuits Sat 23-Sep-17 16:30:47

Have you asked him how long he's been single and why he split up with his ex? wink

FinallyHere Sat 23-Sep-17 16:31:06

H*e's actually making an effort for a change*

any chance he was like this in the early days of your relationship, too?

Much as I understand the temptation to toy with him a bit, he will interpret it, perhaps correctly, as continued interest in him. Better by far, to cut him off and concentrate on living a brilliant life. The sooner you start, the linger you have to enjoy it. All the best.

AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:32:43

Of course, Kitty. "long story" was the reply hmm

I said my reason was because I was tired of being the only one making an effort and being snarled at by a grumpy twit - no reaction

NikiBabe Sat 23-Sep-17 16:32:57

Hmmm ...maybe it would be better to just blow him out of the water now and tell him who I am instead

You are not over your ex and are secretly happy you have his attention again.

You want to tell him & make him feel stupid? He will just laugh at you for playing such a childish game.

There is a dignity in silence that no words can ever convey.


Sn0tnose Sat 23-Sep-17 16:34:00

Don't tell him who you are! Just block him.

Trills Sat 23-Sep-17 16:35:38

Ask him to meet you at the penguin sanctuary, then send another MNer to watch his confusion when you don't show up.

AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:35:42

Believe me, I am SO over him, NikiBabe. I just cant resist an opportunity that's dropped into my lap, so to speak

NikiBabe Sat 23-Sep-17 16:36:09

If you were over him, you would be able to resist this.

AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:40:10

Trills, sadly we dont have a local pengiun sanctuary. He's not an animal lover but I suppose the local safari park would do?

WhollyFather Sat 23-Sep-17 16:40:23

You say you are over him but if that were true, you wouldn't be considering this unkind joke for a moment.

Whatever he did, that was then and this is now. Prove to yourself you have moved on. Leave him alone.

GemmaCollinsBabes Sat 23-Sep-17 16:41:07

I understand the temptation but I'd ghost him now.
He's probably getting a thrill out of someone fancying him and you can bet you're not the only one feeding his ego.

SweetLuck Sat 23-Sep-17 16:42:35

he's going to tell anyone who'll listen that you're a crazy stalker

Err, he would be right wouldn't he?

elland Sat 23-Sep-17 16:44:03

I would toy with him a bi, I don't think I could resist the opportunity!

I wouldn't let on who you are if you do wind him up for a bit!

Butterymuffin Sat 23-Sep-17 16:44:37

Very tempting but the longer it goes on the more likely he'll find out and then you look like the weirdo. Don't tell him who you are. Ask any more questions that will amuse you and then just disappear, leaving him wondering what happened.

AllT0rque Sat 23-Sep-17 16:46:31

How so SweetLuck? He contacted me.

NikiBabe Sat 23-Sep-17 16:47:27

He contacted you not knowing who you were but you knew exactly who he was and still replied and decided to exact revenge. That's how.

KungFuPandaWorksOut16 Sat 23-Sep-17 16:48:02

How freaked out would you be if he did that to You?

I'd imagine you'd think he was a weirdo.

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