Worried about my sister and her girlfriend

[Wellthenfab]

My sister is 18 years old she has been on and off with her girlfriend when she was 15.
Short story... They have had a lot of issues and they are now wanting to move in. My sister will be giving up her live in dream job which she gets a good wage from and doesn't pay bills.

Long story.
They got together 3 years ago they have had several messy break ups ( my mam had to drive down to see my sister in middle of the night as she was just inconsolable spoke about depression etc was very scary)
She moved out young from school as she got offered her dream job of working with horses at a horse sanctuary she lives in and lives bill and rent free and can visit her horse she owns whenever she likes.
This is about 45 mins away from the city close to where my parents live in the country.
Sisters gf now goes to college in the city and my sister is often driving her back and forward to college sometimes stays the night at my flat before hand so they can spend time together. However when this happens her horse and dog gets put on back burner.
She bought a dog when she first moved out against the advice of my parents and us. Now I babysit the dog often and my parents even more so. We do put our foot down.

She before her car used to ask for lifts from my mam often what i am saying she isn't as independent as she thinks. She stayed at my flat with her gf last week so her gf could go to college and she asked my mam who has no horse experience to go see to her horse, she doesn't have her responsibilities took care of at all.

Last week she drove the gf into city at 10pm sunday night stayed at my flat. Woke up at 6am and took gf to college then just drove around the city til 4pm to pick her up. Dunno why she never stayed at the flat all day.
This was her day off and she could have been spending it with her dog and horse.

In the past the gf when still at school would let my sister buy her a lot of high end gifts, my sister would buy spa weekends for them buy her bags shoes etc.

Its like the gf is her number one priority always.

Our family never really LOVED the gf, she used to come over and wouldn't speak at all, she would whisper to my sister to answer questions. It was odd even after all these years of knowing her. And especially when we saw othersides to her during their breakups via text she was very nasty and manipulative.

At first we thought the gf was the problem as was quick to spend money and said awful things when they split up. She seemed like she gaslighted alot but now realising theres more to it and my sister is just as much to blame for putting her as a priority.

They were going to move in a few months back and the gf again broke up for seemingly no reason.
When they split up my sister is a different person and tells us all the horrible things the gf would do .. including saying she should get rid of her dog and she actually kicked the dog. All the names the gf would call my sister it was awful. We made it very clear how upset we were when they got back together. But it caused a rift and sister would stop speaking to us all together.

They are applying for a flat on Monday that they viewed today. It is in a horrible area and I think she is throwing away a whole lot. They will be moving to the city and my sister is getting a job anywhere.
I would think it's likely that the gf will just leave again and my sister will be struggling with the bills.

Any advice on what you would do in this situation? We have tried to.help and it just does the opposite i have asked if she knows about costs etc and she says she isn't stupid. It's really sad to see her throwing everything away for someone who previously was quite emotionally abusive.
I know she has to make her own mistakes but I am just wondering if anything I can do to lessen it.

[sourgrapes28]

As horrible as this is going to be for you and your family, you're going to have to let her find out the hard way ( as you say she is more than happy to cut you off if you don't accept gf ).
Be there when it all ends in tears ( though obviously it would be better if it didn't ). I know its crap advice but its really all I've got.I also think you should stop offering so much help with the animals, once she realises she has to be responsible for her life decisions she might consider them more.

[Norwolf]

Life experiences are usually the best as tough as it may seem, no amount of talking will get to her as she has different perspectives on things, i would think just let her do what she wants but in a way be there when the castle comes crumbling down (its inevitable from ur message) and make sure the dog is cared for, even by a charity if need be.

[PsychedelicSheep]

Is she planning on taking the dog with her to the new flat? Most landlords don’t allow pets.

That aside, there really is very little you can do unfortunately. The gf sounds like a twat but your sister is making her own choices and needs to take responsibility for the consequences. I do feel for you, it must be horrible to watch someone you love in this slow motion car crash of a relationship