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Tired of my partner childish behaviour

(9 Posts)
Mumoftwoandover Fri 22-Sep-17 10:42:46

I am so tired of my partner behaviour.
Every time I try to ask him for help with our son or change of routine to benefit him etc he throws everything back at me.

For example.
If I say: " I think we should start a new early night routine, you could put him to sleep at 8 every day ?"
He says: Yes, WE can do it.

Not that I am demanding him to do it, but I thought that once I stood up for two hours to make dinner and spent the whole day with our son, that he could put him to sleep for various reasons: for example, to have a bond with our son...to spend some time with him ? not that I can;t do it ....

And then he starts comparing us, saying that he works all day, that he does more..and if I dare saying anything like: but I am tired...he says I am tired too....but I am ill...he says: I am ill too.....

This shit makes no sense for me.
He is like that since I met him and I am so tired and so pissed off, I am thinking deeply about giving up this thing he calls "family"

He is so competitive all the time...not to mention our lack of frindeship and all the rest, but this is not what I need to talk about now...

So, do you have a partner that keeps comparing himself and his daily struggles and work life with your housewife jobs to try to avoid doing what you want ?

Please share with me your experience, how do you deal with this childish men ? help pls...I feel so tired !

thanks for reading

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Fri 22-Sep-17 10:48:06

Sounds like my exh. . When I realised he was indeed a true man-child and a liar I showed him the door. .
Never looked back.
He was harder work than all of my dc put together for little return.

mummmy2017 Fri 22-Sep-17 10:51:05

Tell him if he won't help with DC what is the point of him being around.
I think you need to put our DC to bed while I cook dinner.
he says he doesn't want to put DC to bed, you say Ok you do dinner.
Stop giving him open questions and state what you want.

Thebluedog Fri 22-Sep-17 10:56:31

My ex used to be like this... I'd say 'could you do me a favour and wash the pots before you go to work' and he'd fling back 'well I do the hoovering'!! Always had an argument back, would piss me off no end, wouldn't matter how nicely I'd ask either.

As others have said you've got a man child. I've no advice either I'm afraid, I could never get him to stop and think to help.

Mumoftwoandover Fri 22-Sep-17 10:56:53

Exactly ! What's the point of being around...just like a potato sofa taking up space

Mumoftwoandover Fri 22-Sep-17 10:59:02

Ex..maybe mine is asking to be an ex as well !!!!

And also no matter how nice I ask, he always argument back comparing our routines and how hard he works ....I want to explode !

Twinkletwinkle12 Fri 22-Sep-17 11:12:04

I find this all the time! Because I work 12 hours a week less i have no place to moaning about being tired because of course he is more tired, despite the fact he contributes nothing else 😑

TwatteryFlowers Fri 22-Sep-17 12:06:29

My husband works full-time and I'm currently not working due to childcare issues. I sometimes complain about being tired and he might say that he's been at work all day but he never holds it against me or uses it as a reason to avoid doing household chores or looking after our dc. I do what I can at home (with my dc both being at full-time school it's admittedly rather easy) but inevitably there are still things to do on an evening and he does them without quibble (putting the washing to dry for instance or bathing one child whilst I do the other or cooking tea for us).

Looking after the house and looking after children, especially young ones who are at home all day and who are still very needy, is hard work - as hard as if not harder than actually going out to do a full-time paid job. If it wasn't, other people wouldn't do things like cleaning, ironing, gardening or childcare as a job and expect to be paid for it, would they. Stop justifying yourself to him and tell him to get off his backside and pull his weight. Stop doing things for him or to make his life easier. If he says he deserves a break, so do you. When he sits down on an evening, you do too. Why should his job stop at 5pm or whatever whilst yours carries on 24hrs/day?

Mumoftwoandover Fri 22-Sep-17 12:30:04

Well said.
I will stop being the perfect housewife and leaving dinner ready for when he comes back from work hungry and the house clean...

I'm happy I spoke it out because I am so tired and alone.
I will have to change if he is not going to.

I am always a 24/7 mum but he thinks he does it harder....

Imagine someone angry..I'm about to quit it !

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