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Just found out husband has joined certain websites

(41 Posts)
Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 09:09:27

Just found out husband has been joining certain websites, what to do.

Fluffybrain Fri 22-Sep-17 09:13:57

Investigate further.

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 09:22:15

Sorry what do you mean by investigate further.

CockacidalManiac Fri 22-Sep-17 09:23:15

What websites?

TheNaze73 Fri 22-Sep-17 09:24:48

How do you know he's joined?
What type of websites are you alleging he's joined?
Has he definitely signed up or received emails? I regularly get spam from gay dating sites for example.
I think to get any coherent responses you'll need to give a bit more detail.

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 09:36:12

Well where do I start accidentally found out we have passwords saved on the computer , and I was filling it a form pressed saved password on my phone at these websites came up , flirton. Com totally free dating and such.

ScruffyLookingNerfHerder Fri 22-Sep-17 10:10:42

Not sure that's how the technology works TBH, but that's beside the point.

If there's a password saved then someone has logged into that site (or tried to) from a machine that's syncd to the account (e.g. Google, Windows) and chosen to save the password (I don't think any of the methods save it automatically by default). So it could have been done from another device (phone, tablet) that is linked to the same Google account, for instance.

That doesn't help you much with the main problems though.

Do other people use the computer? Kids etc?

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 10:16:13

Yes kids also use the computer, but it's his email address and I did log on to one of the sites with the password it worked. Dunno what to do shall I confront him.

Winteriscomingneedmorewood Fri 22-Sep-17 10:17:21

Set up one yourself and see if he bites to the bait. .

mumofone234 Fri 22-Sep-17 10:17:45

I think you probably have to. Can you log in and see if he has sent/received messages?

hellsbellsmelons Fri 22-Sep-17 10:18:53

That's entirely up to you.
Do you want to brush it under the carpet and turn off all your instincts and pretend you didn't see it?
Or do you want to confront him?
If you don't, this will slowly eat away at you and the resentment towards him will build and build.
If he's on dating sites could you set up a fake profile and catch him out?

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 10:42:53

Maybe he bored he doesn't go out only to work and to pick kids from school, he had a Facebook account full of girls told him to deactivate it this was a while ago.I'm sure he has another don't know about catching him out he'll prob think I'm cheating.

CockacidalManiac Fri 22-Sep-17 10:51:57

Being bored is not an excuse for going on dating websites. By the sound of it, he’s also got form for this kind of thing.
I suppose it’s up to you, but it’d be a deal breaker for me.

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 11:41:23

Sorry if I should stupid what do you mean form.

Wheresmytaco Fri 22-Sep-17 11:45:48

What to do?

Log in to the account and read his messages and profile. Screenshot them and divorce him.

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 11:51:18

We have been married a long time also I'm pregnant I'll have a look at the websites .

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 12:08:52

I was only able to log into 2 he hasn't sent any messages there is no picture of him on there , the others he prob changed the passwords he probably doesn't even know he has saved the passwords. I don't know maybe he wanted me to find out.

mumofone234 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:09:08

You don't need to divorce him or do anything drastic but for your own sanity you probably need to know what he's been doing. I'd suggest you do look at the profiles, and then sit down and talk through it all calmly with him. See what he says, and ask him why he's done it.

mumofone234 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:09:54

Ah ok, so that's not as bad as it could have been. But you probably do need to talk to him about it.

Fulltimeparent Fri 22-Sep-17 12:18:07

I would have been really angry if he had sent messages or met with someone. Why men do this I don't know oh did I not mention he also like watching porn which I don't.

mumofone234 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:23:31

I don't think porn is too big a deal (although everyone's relationship is different) but the websites are a problem. Poor you!

user1480334601 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:25:41

Yes this isn't on. He had a Facebook full of women, you asked him to deactivate it but now he has done the same but in a dating site?! He shouldn't be actively looking in dating sites or collecting random women on Facebook. It's completely disrespectful to you as his wife.

I would take a photo of his login and profile so he can't deny his way out of it then discuss it.

user1480334601 Fri 22-Sep-17 12:26:27

And if you're not comfortable with him watching porn you need to tell him this too

ScruffyLookingNerfHerder Fri 22-Sep-17 13:22:30

Sorry, you told him to delete his FB account because it was "full of girls"?

That sounds very controlling to me.
What's the rest of your relationship like?

Adora10 Fri 22-Sep-17 13:28:59

What a disrespectful git, makes a mockery of marriage.

OP, he does not sound trustworthy, full of girls on FB, now various dating sites; and porn too; not the kind of man I'd want but each to their own.

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