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Following on from 'is he just lovely' thread

(56 Posts)
MozzchopsThirty Wed 20-Sep-17 14:39:29

I also have a shit radar for men who are manipulative or controlling or complete nobs!

I've been out with this guy 3 times and have made it very clear that I'm busy with lots of stuff
He's said he understands and is happy to fit it whenever etc

So is anyone happy to look at these messages for me and dissect if he really is lovely & understanding?

Thanking you smile

angelsgirls Wed 20-Sep-17 14:40:24

What's he writing? Why are you doubting him

MozzchopsThirty Wed 20-Sep-17 14:47:01

Because I'm notoriously shit at choosing men
I feel like I'm missing something!
He's respectful, mature, honest and just really lovely

But then I think that about every loser I date

solsbury Wed 20-Sep-17 15:50:30

go on then - what are the messages?

Hissy Wed 20-Sep-17 15:51:21

Im here. What is he saying?

MyBrilliantDisguise Wed 20-Sep-17 15:52:32

I think between us we can suss him out!

Offred Wed 20-Sep-17 16:13:14

I don't think you are in the right place for dating to work out well for you.

Whether he is lovely or another arsehole is not really the main issue IMO. IMO you are jumping into dating when you are not ready and it is not going to end well, either because he is an arse or because you will drive yourself round the bend not even being able to have a simple text conversation without endless agony.

AlternativeTentacle Wed 20-Sep-17 16:14:38

Go on then, crack open the messenger.

MozzchopsThirty Wed 20-Sep-17 17:28:47

I didn't go looking for this
I refuse to go on dating sites now as im not looking for anything

This was a random date, he asked ms out, I've seen him at the gym for months

MozzchopsThirty Thu 21-Sep-17 16:00:03

Ok here goes ......

I know, I just never wanted to take up too much of your time whilst your studying. I know how important it is for you, and wanted you to know that. As much as I want to see you, I have to respect what your doing as well xx

MozzchopsThirty Thu 21-Sep-17 16:01:39

This .....

It will be nice to catch up with my cousins as well. Am I allowed to tell them that I've seen this absolutely drop dead gorgeous woman, that's got more brains than most people put together, and knows what she wants going forward and is totally independent and can stand up for her self... did I mention how gorgeous she was??? xx

MozzchopsThirty Thu 21-Sep-17 16:03:06


That's why I wanted to let you know that I understand what your upto. Your a beautiful wonderful woman, and I want to make sure your always happy xx

Hissy Thu 21-Sep-17 16:04:57

your and not you're...

it's not going to work out now is it? grin

HeavenlyEyes Thu 21-Sep-17 16:06:09

he wants to tell people he is seeing you after 3 dates? I wonder if I detect a bit of love bombing.

Alittlepotofrosie Thu 21-Sep-17 16:06:59

Sounds nice enough to me! He's not demanding your attention, he's paying you compliments ...

hopelesslyaddicted Thu 21-Sep-17 16:19:17

I cant help reading all these cringe messages in the style of this guy...

pudding21 Thu 21-Sep-17 16:23:50

They are lovely messages, but I think I would be a bit creeped out if I got messages like that after three dates. This bit in particular " and I want to make sure your always happy xx"

Its like he already thinks he snagged you long term.......or it could be the start of a beautiful head of heels love story, if you feel the same way, but I am guessing you don't seen as though you posted about it.......

mumtri Thu 21-Sep-17 16:26:22

Sorry I don't mean to be horrible but part of me is waiting for the MN post to appear 'sorry, I will stop texting you now'....

Rejectedwoman Thu 21-Sep-17 16:26:54

Sounds nice on the face of it. However... How many messages is he sending each day. Who initiates most of the contact. Have you been physical at all?

Sounds like some of the stuff I was being sent after a couple of dates. My thread is in aibu. Might strike a chord if you read it. Sounds like he has you very much on a pedestal 'more brains than everyone put together' sounds a bit full on and cringe.

Post some more of them.
How old are you both. What's his history and set up. Does he know much about what's happened in your past relationships

TurnipCake Thu 21-Sep-17 16:30:58

After 3 dates it does sound a bit lovebomb-y.

The one about you studying and him 'having to' respect that doesn't sit comfortably with me. I can't put my finger on it but anyhoo.

Tenpenny Thu 21-Sep-17 16:31:57

He seems a bit too flattering and ott at this early stage. "I want to make sure you're always happy" sounds a bit off to me as well

(I separated from emotionally abusive husband last year, he started off flattering me like this from very early days)

MozzchopsThirty Thu 21-Sep-17 16:32:28

I've already addressed the grammar lol

To be fair to him I have told friends about him
He has a very close family

AlternativeTentacle Thu 21-Sep-17 16:32:31

Does he play piano?

SweetLuck Thu 21-Sep-17 16:35:56

Turinp me too. O think it's because he's saying he 'has to' respect it. Comes across as rather grudging. Or that he needs to remind himself of it, whereas actually it should just be a given.

Cringe at all the 'you are gorgeous' stuff. Seems over the top and therefore a bit insincere. Telling you what he thinks you want to hear.

TurnipCake Thu 21-Sep-17 16:38:58

Or that he needs to remind himself of it, whereas actually it should just be a given.

Yep, nailed it, Sweet.

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