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Do they all just want sex?

(43 Posts)
Costaricachica Tue 19-Sep-17 20:12:14

This is hopefully lighthearted...

I have been single for a several months now after finally leaving a long abusive relationship. I feel I'm really finding myself again and am happier than i have been in years.

Anyway, I'm not sure I'm really ready to date or anything yet but since remerging on social media, a few exes from my younger years/'near misses' have got in touch to say hi! All well and good, nice to catch up with old friends/ practise a bit of flirty banter...however, they all seem to be after sex! Even the married ones! shock

Am I being oversensitive or is this how it goes nowadays?! I thought people used to arrange having a drink to catch up - rather than cut straight to the chase?grin

PlasticPatty Tue 19-Sep-17 20:13:33

Yes, they all want sex, even the married ones. Even the ones who have only recently moved in with their partners.

Costaricachica Tue 19-Sep-17 20:15:42

Oh no - I'm not being oversensitive then!

Pebbles1989 Tue 19-Sep-17 20:18:27

I'm finding the same thing. Can't believe how many married and attached men came out of the woodwork.

Transcendence Tue 19-Sep-17 22:30:42

Gosh!!!!!!

user1480334601 Tue 19-Sep-17 22:52:17

Yes it's a big contribution to my trust issues in relationships, the amount of married or taken people who were inappropriate toward me when I was single!

Chocolatteandbiscuits Tue 19-Sep-17 22:53:21

Yep marriage means nothing to these types of men.

bowtieandheels Wed 20-Sep-17 00:16:33

Yep had the same experience, nothing surprises me anymore.

Beentherelefthimgotthetshirt Wed 20-Sep-17 00:46:19

Same here. All bar one of male friends made it clear they'd 'help me out' if I had needs when I separated from XH. All were married... I don't dress inappropriately, I'm quite baudy when drinking with the lads and don't simper over men.

Heebejeebees Wed 20-Sep-17 00:54:05

No they don't, my OH who I started dating just over a year ago, was a gentleman and still is. Sex was only on the cards after we were both ready.

highinthesky Wed 20-Sep-17 00:57:54

You are correct!

The trouble with exes is that they feel they have done the dating thing already so it's a shortcut into to your knickers. Why put any work into it?

Smile and move on.

BorisTrumpsHair Wed 20-Sep-17 01:09:11

I never have posted about My relationship status and what not on FB. Keep em guessing. And avoid unwanted attention.

Costaricachica Thu 21-Sep-17 20:53:08

Seems a common theme then.... I just didn't expect it at all, especially from the attached ones.

That's really reassuring Heebejeebees...I'm sure there are plenty of good uns out there.

highinthesky - I totally agree....much easier/ quicker route to reuse an old number!

Just makes me even more hesitant to consider trying OLD...think I'll just enjoy my new found freedom a while longer!

Aminuts23 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:01:24

If I were you I'd stay single. Things are a bit raw for me just now, sorry x

Ruddygreattiger2016 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:03:40

Yep, same here, including an acquaintence from work who is at least twenty years older than me, married and constantly telling me about his grandkids!

I really do look at men in a completely different light now and would not trust another one. Not worth the bother or time.

Eleanorsummer Thu 21-Sep-17 21:09:05

A lot do.

Costaricachica Thu 21-Sep-17 21:11:13

Aminuts23 - i intend to...the last thing I need is to be in another relationship so soon. Need some "me" time for sure!

I haven't posted anything about my relationship status. It's given my friends a giggle though... "still got it girl ha!" Etc.

But it is slightly disappointing that this seems to be how many attached men conduct themselves.

Ruddygreattiger2016 - I know what you mean!

Aminuts23 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:18:24

OP it's not just the attached ones. I will never ever trust a man again after what I've just been through. I spent 18 months recovering from an awful relationship. Doing all the right things. When I met someone again 11 months ago I thought it/he was great. Relaxed, easygoing, funny etc. No red flags at all. Turns out he was just as bad as the rest in the end. Totally blindsided me, completely. I think it's finished me off relationship wise

Costaricachica Thu 21-Sep-17 21:30:09

Aminuts23 - so sorry to hear that. What a total shit bag. I think believing we've learned from past crap gives us hope and strength to go forward. That we won't fall for that again.

Don't let this one make you lose faith forever. Half the planets population are male...statistically there's got to be some good eggs x

This is what I tell myself anyway...

clumsyduck Thu 21-Sep-17 21:33:17

My dp is a gent but seriously every other relationship iv had they were cheating pigs ( and no I didn't think they were gents at the time either )

Aminuts23 Thu 21-Sep-17 21:41:35

I thought he was a good egg OP. I really really did. I won't trust my own judgement any more now. I don't need a man anyway but it doesn't stop the pain. I'd run a million miles from another relationship

Costaricachica Thu 21-Sep-17 22:00:53

clumsyduck - many seem to think the grass is greener. Too much on offer perhaps!?

Aminuts23 - i totally believe you and understand what you're saying. I don't trust my own judgement either now after many many years. I don't know when or if that will return.

Have you had counselling? I have and it's done me wonders.

I'm loving my life now...just me and my children....finding our own happiness and not putting that key in someone elses pocket.

I still have hope though. No bastard deserves to take that away from you!

Aminuts23 Thu 21-Sep-17 22:11:46

I was exactly where you are OP. Strong and mainly recovered. And enjoying a relaxed no pressure relationship. Sorry I don't mean to bring you down. The fact that this man who I thought I knew could do this means I really will not trust again. I never in a million years saw it coming. I'll leave you now to more cheery responses. Good luck with everything flowers

Costaricachica Thu 21-Sep-17 22:14:24

And to you xxx flowers

clumsyduck Thu 21-Sep-17 22:19:15

Yea well they all certainly did then come crying back once it's all over !

We're always going to find other
People attractive fair enough but for some reason they couldn't possibly resist cheating on me and almost as bad as that making me out to be crazy for suspecting them , I always knew though red flags from the start with each Of them I was just
Young and naive I guess ?!?!

I always say if now dp cheated I would be done with men ! He's the nicest man iv ever known if he can do it they all can !!

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