Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 16 17

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Hotel booking on DP's online banking

402 replies

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:12

Just been onto the online banking to transfer some money from DP's account to our joint one (he knows I'm doing this). He's the one who signed up to the online banking but he gave me log in details and I can see the joint account and his own account, my own account is with a different bank. (Sorry going on a bit, just want to explain how I've seen what I've see).

Anyway, usually he just transfers any money I need from his mobile, but he's busy and said for me to log on and do it, I'm going holiday shopping today and needed some extra. Then this part I'm not proud of.....it's my birthday soon and I had a sneaky look at his recent transactions, to try see what he's bought me (I know that's really, really bad!)
I noticed last week there's a payment to a hotel, which is the same hotel he's staying in at the moment, he's working away. His hotel is paid for by his work, but they share so two men to a room. The charge is the same as a double room for one night at that hotel.

Is there any possible explanation (other than the obvious) that he'd have for booking his own room for a night? I really can't think of one right now, but then I'm struggling to think of anything other than killing him right now!
And how do I speak to him about it? Wait until he's home Friday or ask over the phone?

OP posts:

Report

SleepFreeZone · 30/08/2017 08:17

I'm not sure I'm following but are you cross he has booked one night at that hotel for your birthday or do you think he's having an affair or something?

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:21

Sorry! I'm still a bit sleepy so maybe not making sense.
It's not for my birthday, we're going away for my birthday.
He's booked to stay one night in the same hotel he's already staying in! He hasn't mentioned a mix up with rooms or having to stay a extra night or anything. So I can't think why he'd need his own room for one night, other than to sleep with someone else.

OP posts:

TokenGinger · 30/08/2017 08:21

He's either really liking the hotel and has booked a night there for your birthday.

Or, the company has fucked up, payment hasn't gone through and he's been asked to pay on arrival and he'll claim backcthroifh expenses.

This has happened at my work place all of the time - at least once a week. So many hotels operate so differently and some expect the card it's been booked with to be presented on arrival. Our staff cannot do that and they then foot the bill and have to claim on expenses.

As you know he's already staying there with a man, I wouldn't expect there's any suspicion around it being a woman, and more just queries around why he's had to pay the bill himself.

But as I first he, he may really like the area or have found a nice restaurant and is taking you for your birthday.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 30/08/2017 08:22

I think the OP thinks that her DH, who would normally share a hotel room (paid for by work) with another bloke while away with work, has instead booked and paid for his own double room - possibly so that he can share it with a woman?

Just ask him. You have a perfectly valid reason for logging into his bank account; you noticed this transaction; you're puzzled. You don't have to accuse him of anything; just say what you saw and ask for clarification.

TokenGinger · 30/08/2017 08:22

Cross post.

Maybe the person he's sharing with is an excessive snorer. If I was sleeping with a snorer on a work night, I'd get a separate room and claim back on expenses too. I wouldn't be dealing with noise when I need to focus the next day.

Jamboree05 · 30/08/2017 08:23

Has he been staying there a while?

It's perfectly feasible that he got fed up of sharing the room with another bloke and decided to book another room for himself for the evening.

If you want to talk to him about it, and I would suggest you do to put your mind at rest, be honest. Don't go in guns blazing and just say you were looking for your birthday gift and noticed xyz.

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:24

I thought ig might be a mix up Token but there's around 10 men staying there so why would it be a mix up with one? and it was last week, so the money should have been paid back to him (he's paid weekly) but doesn't look like it has.

OP posts:

redexpat · 30/08/2017 08:25

Maybe the othet guy snores and he needed a nights sleep.
Maybe work messed up the booking so he paid and will claim back on expenses.
Maybe the other guy is having an affair and wanted the room.
Or maybe he is having an affair.

Are there any other transactions that look suspicious? Like restaurants or other hotels?

Proseccopanda · 30/08/2017 08:25

Sleep OP is saying that he's away for work at the moment, but that it looks like he's paid for the hotel himself, when his employer would usually deal with it. Therefore, is he actually there for work?

My DH works away a lot, and there have been occasions when he's needed to book a hotel himself and then claim back on expenses.

thirtyplusone · 30/08/2017 08:26

Hi OP. I used to travel a lot for work for a big international company, but still had to pay for the room myself first then claim back on expenses so perhaps that is the reason.

I've also been in situations where a company policy was to share rooms and I've paid for my own so as to not have to share!

Another theory may be when you check into a hotel they take a pre deposit payment for the room which is often refunded on check out, or taken to cover room service etc. Again when traveling with work paying, I still had to 'pre pay' the room deposit on my credit card which was refunded on check out.

Lots of reasons :) hopefully it's nothing to worry about

JennyLane · 30/08/2017 08:30

As pp's have said it looks like there could be a simple explanation. I would imagine if there was an ominous reason he would not have encouraged you to go into his banking etc.
Ask him. You have a legitimate reason for finding it.

AntheasAcquaintance · 30/08/2017 08:34

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:37

He's been working there a while, mon-fri. He's definitely working. No mention of snoring or anything and he's friends with the guy he's sharing with. Plus he hates to spend money and would be loath to pay for his own room.
He doesn't have to sort paying out or anything usually, and if there was a problem I'd imagine the foreman who's there would have been the one to do it. But still it's only one night and they were there 4 nights.
And if he'd had to pay, I'd imagine he's use our joint account, that's for all day to day stuff.

I didn't really need to look on his account, I can just click from account A to B without seeing recent transactions.

OP posts:

Huffletuff · 30/08/2017 08:40

Ask him?

SleepFreeZone · 30/08/2017 08:45

I would ask him but I'd want to see his face so I'd ask him face to face.

KitKat1985 · 30/08/2017 08:45

I wouldn't panic. DH used to work away a lot. Sometimes the company credit card he was given would be maxed out so he would sometimes have to pay for things himself then get them paid back in expenses afterwards.

PiratePanda · 30/08/2017 08:45

This wouldn't raise any suspicions for me. I'd suspect some kind of fuck up between hotel or work; maybe they forgot to book enough rooms, or took an extra person at the last minute and therefore he paid for it up front. I don't get my expenses back for at least a couple of weeks, and my employer is really quick and efficient.

Unless you've got any other concrete reasons to suspect him, I would let this go.

Ceto · 30/08/2017 08:48

What I find difficult to understand is your assumption that there can only be one possible reason why he would want a room on his own. There's a function at work that happens once a year where we are heavily encouraged to share rooms, but I've always made it clear that if I have to share I'm not going: I just don't like sharing rooms with anyone other than DH. If he assumed I wanted my own room purely because I wanted to sleep with another man, I'd be severely pissed off.

gamerchick · 30/08/2017 08:51

It's a pretty huge leap you've managed there OP. There could be a simple explanation, don't go off the deep end.

GinSoakedTwitchyPony · 30/08/2017 08:52

Are you sure that the transaction is for the actual booking, even though it may be (coincidentally) the same cost for a room?
Lots of hotels now will deduct a sum when you check in for your hotel stay to cover incidentals, damage etc. Last time I stayed at a hotel for work they took £500 out of my own bank account which was then re-credited as I checked out.

WhoreOfBabyliss · 30/08/2017 08:52

He's not likely to be shagging some OW in a hotel full of his colleagues though surely?

PiratePanda · 30/08/2017 08:52

I too hate sharing a room, and pay for a separate one if I can afford to.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Email address

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Emboo19 · 30/08/2017 08:52

He doesn't have a company credit card or anything. I can't see why it would be him sorting it out. He's probably the youngest member of staff there and he travels with the foreman so surely he'd have sorted out a problem, guessing he has the card if ones needed.

He gets his food expenses back each week and I've just checked his wage slip and timesheet for last week, he's been paid all his expenses for then and no hotel room. Could be on this weeks wage though, so I might wait and check that one first, although that will mean opening his mail.

OP posts:

GinSoakedTwitchyPony · 30/08/2017 08:52

Oh and what KitKat said too, that's happened to me also.

FledglingFTB · 30/08/2017 08:53

I don't understand why partners say "I'm not proud" unless have you both explicitly agreed to keep finances private then is it such a terrible thing to look - he gave you permission to access his account? I'd think it'd be weird to not have had this purchase mentioned, even in passing.

There probably is a simple explanation, but you're definitely owed one.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 16 17

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.