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Ex has wrecked children's holiday

(70 Posts)
Totallyfedup1 Tue 22-Aug-17 12:01:24

Me and my exh have been split 2 years exactly. I'm still in the matrimonial home with his 2 children (8 and 6) as he didn't want to come to an agreement re finances. This house is solely in his name, but as I say we're still married, 9years now. He was advised by the police and my solicitor to keep away from the house when we first split as he was emotionally and physically abusive to me.

He lives in a rented house. He owns 2 other houses which are rented out but are not in his name, all very dodgy. Anyway, we had finally settled on an amount which is very low considering the amount involved, I am just sick and tired of fighting him.

Exh had the children last weekend and dropped them off at mine Monday night. Me and the dc went on holiday Wednesday morning with a big group of friends and all their children, for a close friend's wedding.

We had a lovely first day, kids playing in pool, out for a nice meal in the evening etc. When we got back to the room my mum rang me to say my exh had broken into our home and was packing all our things up to put into storage.

We booked the next flight back from there at a cost of £800, this was then delayed 16 hours. It was horrendous. We finally got back into uk Friday morning. He'd literally cleared everything out and changed the locks. Even took the cutlery, cups and plates.

We got the police involved. They spoke to him.
He told me where the stuff was. Give me the key to the storage container so we could get it back.

His plan was to move me out whilst I was gone. And move himself in.
Then I expect he was never going to pay the divorce settlement.
I don't know if he ever intends on paying it.
I hate him so much. This is awful what he's done, wrecking the children's holiday, having them go through all this, coming home to an empty house. They shouldn't have to see it all.

We've unpacked all the boxes now and our things are back where they should be. But the children are still so upset about what has happened. The eldest is having headaches and has said he's got 'butterflies' in his tummy.

I'm waiting on a call back from my solicitor. I want to see if there is a court order so he can't come in the house again. Just until the divorce is finished.

I've said I won't ever stop the children seeing their dad. But they're getting old enough now to make their own mind up and have said they don't want to see him.

NormaDesmondsEyebrows Tue 22-Aug-17 12:28:04

My god that's hideous.

Pretty sure you can get an occupation order and a non mol. He sounds as dodgy as fuck. Who does that to their own children?

ParanoidBeryl Tue 22-Aug-17 12:37:49

My Dad did this to us when I was 12. It was really traumatic.

I don't know if I can offer any words of advice that will be of any use, but it might be worth speaking to both your GP and school to advise them what has happened, so that appropriate support can be put in place.

iMatter Tue 22-Aug-17 12:45:26

What a cunt.

I'm so sorry to hear this OP.

He ruined their holiday but more importantly he cleared out their home, their safe place.

What a cunt.

LoyaltyAndLobster Tue 22-Aug-17 12:52:44


wherearemymarbles Tue 22-Aug-17 12:54:31

There will be things you can do. And id rip up the agreement and go to court. Events like this dont go down well in court

Wallywobbles Tue 22-Aug-17 12:57:41

I'd get the kids a shrink. And I'd be building a fucking waterproof case against him so they never have to see him again. My DDs spoke to a judge at 8&9 so it's possible.

DancesWithOtters Tue 22-Aug-17 12:59:01

Wow. What a cunt.

MycatsaPirate Tue 22-Aug-17 13:01:51

What a nasty excuse for a man.

I second everyone else. Take this to court and let a Judge decide on what happens now. But this is just disgusting behaviour. Your poor kids sad

juneau Tue 22-Aug-17 13:03:00

FGS change the locks!!!!!

Oblomov17 Tue 22-Aug-17 13:03:04

What an idiot. But are you sure flying back really was the best idea? Only that a few more days of fab holiday, wouldn't have changed the trauma, that you all would have got upon return, on say a Tuesday or a Friday?

HelloSquirrels Tue 22-Aug-17 13:09:04

oh my goodness i am so so sorry. What a tosser this man is, doing this to his own children.

as a pp said i would be taking him to court and getting my evidence together. I don't usually support people taking their ex for everything they've got but this arsehole doesn't deserve any better after pulling that stunt.

Where did he think his children would live? Silly twat.

JigglyTuff Tue 22-Aug-17 13:09:13

Except he would have moved in Oblomov from what the OP says which would have been even more traumatic.

What a vile excuse for a human being he is OP. Please do change the locks and get a non-mol order against him

FrogsSitonLogs Tue 22-Aug-17 13:12:10

The OP can't chnage the locks if it's his house.

Totallyfedup1 Tue 22-Aug-17 13:13:48

I had the locks changed when we split the first time.
He drilled the locks and broke in.
I've changed the locks again.

Police said if we hadn't have come back when we did and he'd have had enough time to move his stuff back in then they couldn't have done anything and we basically would have been homeless.
They said if he comes back to ring 999.

I've just spoken to my solicitor. She said we would definitely get the occupation order based on this.
Feel like I can't even leave the house at the moment. I'm scared he's going to do it again.

kohl Tue 22-Aug-17 13:15:13

What a stone cold cunt. I'm so sorry OP.

RandomMess Tue 22-Aug-17 13:17:40


SonicBoomBoom Tue 22-Aug-17 13:19:28

Jesus OP, that's awful. I think you did the right thing coming straight back.

Don't be rethinking the unfavourable financial settlement too if I were you. You're not making your life any easier by accepting less, he's still being a shit, so you may as well push for more of what's rightfully yours.

juneau Tue 22-Aug-17 13:20:44

Bloody hell OP - that's horrendous. Thank goodness you were able to get back early. He was clearly taking his time, thinking he had x number of days. Can you get a burglar alarm fitted which goes straight through to the police if it's triggered? Then you'll be able to leave the house, safe in the knowledge that if he tries to break in all hell will break loose.

flowers for you. What a total cunt. Your poor kids.

WicksEnd Tue 22-Aug-17 13:21:37

Who the fuck does that to their own children?
I doubt they'll ever forgive him, so he's going to pay the biggest price when he's a lonely miserable old cunt in his latter years.

Butterymuffin Tue 22-Aug-17 13:22:02

So his plan was to make his children homeless and take over their house for his sole occupation. It's demeaning to cunts to call him a cunt. Tell your solicitor everything you can about his money, houses etc and take him to the cleaners.

SandyY2K Tue 22-Aug-17 13:22:08

Well thank God for your mum. What a hideous excuse for a father and a human being.

There's low and there's downright evil.

Next time you go away, hire a house sitter and don't tell him you're going away.

No wonder the kids don't want to see him again. Shame on him and sorry you and the kids are going through this.

Mummyoflittledragon Tue 22-Aug-17 13:26:47

flowers flowers. Your poor children. What an excuse of a man.

MelvinThePenguin Tue 22-Aug-17 13:27:40

I'm not sure how questioning whether the OP did the right thing in coming home early is helpful confused.

Sounds like you have this under control OP, but how awful for you flowers. Do whatever you've got to do for you and your DC.

JennyOnAPlate Tue 22-Aug-17 13:28:22

What an utter cunt he is op. I'm so sorry you're having to go through this flowers

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