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Slight red flag??

(77 Posts)
DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 13:12:59

My lovely sister is in a new relationship after years of being single. However she's now told me that he hadn't wanted her to tell me about him because he "likes the relationship being secret". All my spidey senses were tingling when she told me but is this me overreacting??

KatharinaRosalie Mon 21-Aug-17 13:15:18

Can you think of any nice reasons why someone would like to keep their relationship secret?

No, me neither.

Shoxfordian Mon 21-Aug-17 13:15:39

Why does he want it to be secret? Is it so his wife doesn't find out? Very suspicious

GoldenOrb Mon 21-Aug-17 13:17:31

Oh dear. That doesn't sound good. Can you talk to her abaiut it some more?

GoldenOrb Mon 21-Aug-17 13:17:54

^about

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 13:18:21

Exactly Kath sadBut she's really into him.

Mrscropley Mon 21-Aug-17 13:19:43

Could you call round unexpectedly when he is there?

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 13:20:54

Orb she's fine with not telling people because he says that he's told his parents about her. Who knows....

Redcrayons Mon 21-Aug-17 13:21:27

Do they work together? it's quite common to keep it underneath wraps in that situation

Or am I grasping at straws?

HerOtherHalf Mon 21-Aug-17 13:22:47

Of course it's a red flag, there is no reasonable explanation.

Mrscropley Mon 21-Aug-17 13:22:57

How does she know his dps know though?

KatharinaRosalie Mon 21-Aug-17 13:23:29

what is he saying is the reason for the secrecy?

OK I could understand working together and not going public until it's serious, or similar. But you would have mentioned that.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow Mon 21-Aug-17 13:23:48

You know those big flags they have at festivals? It's one of them. He's not single.

c3pu Mon 21-Aug-17 13:39:33

Hmmmmm, I'd say it would be ok to keep things quiet until thing are established, as I wouldn't want to be gushing about the new relationship only for it fall over as they often do in the early days... How long have they been seeing each other?

If it's been a little while then public acknowledgement is perfectly reasonable thing.

BitchQueen90 Mon 21-Aug-17 13:42:02

There's a difference between keeping a relationship private and a relationship secret. Unless he has DC and doesn't want them knowing about his relationship yet?

FuckYouLinda Mon 21-Aug-17 13:52:02

It screams "married" Or "out on bail"

I'd be doing a bit of discreet digging to see what he's hiding. DP and I wanted to keep our relationship low-key but we didn't keep it this big mad secret. There is a difference.

Mrscropley Mon 21-Aug-17 14:11:28

She should be Googling his name!!

ravenmum Mon 21-Aug-17 14:15:58

she's fine with not telling people because he says that he's told his parents about her.
So he wants to keep it a secret but has told his parents about it, so he says?
Red flag, alarm bells and flashing light.

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 14:37:47

It doesn't look good sadI knew you lot would tell me straight.
They don't work together, met through Tinder. I think he lives with his parents....Oh and I've just remembered that he only comes to her house, never his own.

But she called him reall

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 14:38:38

Sorry posted too soon!

She called him really late last n

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 14:40:17

Arghhhhh!!

Called him late last night and they were talking for ages. Would he be able to do that if he's married??

DancingLedge Mon 21-Aug-17 14:43:48

If he's a good liar, 'talking to an upset mate ' yeah.

DianaMitford Mon 21-Aug-17 14:56:39

I did try and talk to her about it last night but she wasn't having any of it.

RhubardGin Mon 21-Aug-17 15:02:15

How long have they been dating? Are they officially boyfriend/girlfriend?

I can slightly understand his reasoning if they have just started dating and he wants it to remain private.

If they have been dating for a few months that's a red flag.

FizzyGreenWater Mon 21-Aug-17 15:16:42

He's married
He's married
He's oh so oh so married

Not single
Not single
Because he's really married

My new song for the day smile

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