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Ok but why...Ow

(152 Posts)
Sholiz74 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:58:05

Just a quick question. I find it odd that the OW is so protected. Mine messaged me and called me to make sure I knew all the details...why are they untouchables MN?

Slowcookerheaven Sun 20-Aug-17 21:59:05

I don't think they are.

But the logic is that she wasn't in s relationship with you. Your partner was. Or is. They owe you. She doesn't.

Loopytiles Sun 20-Aug-17 22:00:14


Offred Sun 20-Aug-17 22:00:24

Ppl on MN usually point ^ out because posters are usually raging at OW while having panicky sex and doing the pick me dance with their cheating bastard.

Mulch Sun 20-Aug-17 22:00:34

I don't think they are, but if people vent their animosity towards them which I usually the case, people will point out it's their partner that's lied and cheated. Save it for them she/he owes you nothing

Offred Sun 20-Aug-17 22:00:54

If you read OP by OW MN is entirely different.

Blueemeraldagain Sun 20-Aug-17 22:01:15

I've never understood this. It is possible to blame more than one person for something. Of course your partner has done the greater wrong but we really should be able to expect even a stranger not to treat their fellow man like that.

TooFew Sun 20-Aug-17 22:01:55

What is it that makes you think they're untouchable OP?

Mrscropley Sun 20-Aug-17 22:02:51

Don't forget now that they are openly the gf a vacancy for ow has been created. .

Sholiz74 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:03:02

I understand that but don't understand the way that the actions get absolved as they owe nothing....decent human behavior? Xx

mineofuselessinformation Sun 20-Aug-17 22:03:44

They're not entirely blameless IMO if they know the man is married or in a steady relationship.
BUT, the majority of the blame still lies with the cheating partner.

Slowcookerheaven Sun 20-Aug-17 22:04:59

What makes you think the actions are absolved.

Puffpaw Sun 20-Aug-17 22:05:57

It's your husband that broke the vows, doesn't mean that ow didn't behave in shitty way, but your H should be the focus of your anger.

Puffpaw Sun 20-Aug-17 22:07:22

Plus poor woman will prob end up with H and learn a harsh lesson about fidelity in the not too distant future.

Patchouli666 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:09:12

They are bot breaking a commitment are they

Sholiz74 Sun 20-Aug-17 22:09:40

The way MN appears to remove all blame. Dont get me wrong i am not an idiot. Married 14 years and this hits but I just find it odd that the OW is not to blame in any way

TooFew Sun 20-Aug-17 22:09:45

I don't know that their actions get absolved. They're just not the ones groveling on their knees begging for forgiveness I guess.

Slowcookerheaven Sun 20-Aug-17 22:10:18

The ow didn't break a vow to you

AnyFucker Sun 20-Aug-17 22:11:36

MN does not remove all blame from OW

What threads have you been reading confused

theredjellybean Sun 20-Aug-17 22:12:19

I actually think ow come in for dreadful abuse on mn.
Often see them referred to in appalling terms... Whore, bitch etc....
Infidelity is sometimes straightforward and sometimes very complex.
When people post about people they do not. Know in rl and refer to them in that manner I cringe.
It's good to offer support to the betrayed spouse, one of mn best things is the support given out but to effectively slag off the ow you do not know and have no idea of the details, context etc, I find odd.

MadMags Sun 20-Aug-17 22:14:34

I don't think MN absolves OW of guilt.

But thread after thread is posted about how she's the devil incarnate and when someone points out "actually it's the sleazy bastard you married who cheated on you" it's all but he's sorry and we're working things out!

This need to skim over the fact that your husband was fucking someone else just baffles me.

He was stressed. We were going through a rough patch. She was all over him...

It's just embarrassing.

I think any woman who forgives a cheating scumbag is weak and pathetic.

Any woman who does right by herself and dumps his sorry arse has free reign to say whatever she wants about OW. Because at least her anger is also directed at the right person!

MyheartbelongstoG Sun 20-Aug-17 22:15:50

I for one think an ow is just as responsible as the cheating partner.

They are both cunts in my book.

GaryNumanIsOlderThanGaryOldman Sun 20-Aug-17 22:18:31

If OP puts all the blame on OW she stands more chance of being fooled twice by not so 'D'P
If an OW posts on here she usually gets zero sympathy

FritzDonovan Sun 20-Aug-17 22:20:58

I also think they are equally to blame. OH may be grovelling and begging for forgiveness, OW generally doesn't give a shit at any point.

Ellisandra Sun 20-Aug-17 22:21:00

I think you've been reading a completely different MN to me!

Have you never seen a post from an OW go down in flames for their self serving excuses?!

The things that I find are very "MN" are:
- both have behaved badly
- he has behaved worse
- don't put all the blame on OW instead of him because you're desperate to justify staying with an arsehole
- focus on your cheating OH not OW because he's the relevant one in your life

Sorry this is happening to you flowers

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