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There I've said it....

(56 Posts)
pictureperfect1 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:15:18

I want out of my 7 year marriage.
I'm scared of him.
I'm walking on egg shells constantly
I don't think I love him
He has double standards
I miss affection
I want to be loved
Why does he shout at me
Why do I make him angry
Why can I never do anything right
Am I going mad?
Is it me!
I'm embarrassed by him
He is horrid to he around
I wished I'd never met him
He is mean

LEMtheoriginal Sun 20-Aug-17 21:18:05

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. ..do you need support to leave?

jeaux90 Sun 20-Aug-17 21:45:17

You are not alone. Many of us have been there and left. You can too. Lots of support on here. Do you have anyone in real life that you can trust and talk to? X

thingsthatgobumpinthenightouch Sun 20-Aug-17 21:47:07

I hear you, I feel similar. Don't have any advice but can offer a handhold.

AnyFucker Sun 20-Aug-17 21:47:58

What do you need to do now ?

LineysRun Sun 20-Aug-17 21:52:33

You'll get support on here.

LellyMcKelly Mon 21-Aug-17 02:04:09

Well done for choosing to be happy. It's not a sin, it's not a crime. You've done phenomenally well to stand up and tell him. flowers

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:02:22

Thanks all. No one in RL to talk to - everyone thinks we have a great marriage. I'm embarrassed to tell anyone. Don't even know where to start.

Putyourhandsintheair Mon 21-Aug-17 20:05:47

You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You have decided that you want to do something about your life. That's amazing. You should be proud of yourself. You are showing you are strong. You know that you are worth better. Let people on here help you.
You have already made the first steps.

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Aug-17 20:07:39

I think people will be less surprised than you think.

Do you have children with this man? Own a property? Share a bank account?

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:09:34

No children. No joint bank account and the house is in my name. I'll lose it though won't I. I'm scared to tell him its over.

Putyourhandsintheair Mon 21-Aug-17 20:11:11

Not necessarily. Are you financially independent?
Are you safe?

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Aug-17 20:11:28

How long have you been married for? There will be a financial hit but it'll be worth it, don't worry.

How much equity is in the house? Did you both pay for the mortgage together?

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:13:42

Yes I'm financially secure and can be independent on my own. There is a little bit equity and I'm safe yes.

He's made me think it's all my fault, I'm confused and don't know whether this is all down to me.

theansweris42 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:13:59

I was there and I left.
Was skint for a bit. Not rolling in it now but OK.
What do you need to start considering?
flowers for you

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:14:05

I've paid the mortgage myself the whole time.

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:15:05

I want to do it and then run away and hide. Don't want all the Q's from people or have to see him daily whilst I wait for him to go a I don't think he'll go easily

theansweris42 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:16:07

I bet it's taken ages for you to think clearly and make the list in your OP.
Things will become clearer now.

Putyourhandsintheair Mon 21-Aug-17 20:17:00

Have you talked to him about this before? How has he reacted?

mummytime Mon 21-Aug-17 20:17:12

Have you had legal advice?
If you are scared of him Women's aid could help and advise.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants Mon 21-Aug-17 20:17:24

If you've been married 7 years don't assume you will lose the house. You need a good lawyer, and to leave the relationship. Get advice on how to get him to leave.

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Aug-17 20:19:14

I would get some advice from a solicitor. All he can have is half the equity at most. I think you need to look at what the equity was when you married and what it is now, then halve the difference.

ImperialBlether Mon 21-Aug-17 20:19:55

You've been married for seven years - when did you buy your house?

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:20:08

I felt good writing the list. I've never said I wanted to break up before - he has threatened it and then it ends up me begging forgiveness as I'm scared even though I don't think I've done anything wrong and saying I'll change. I don't think I'm the problem - he is. He says the way I am makes him angry - god that sounds so pathetic sad

pictureperfect1 Mon 21-Aug-17 20:20:58

Bought the house 2 years before we married

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