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Social media comments

24 replies

tothesausagesandback · 20/08/2017 08:44

It was one of the rare occasions that we travelled to meet with some of DH'S friends recently. The females of the group appear to know each other much better than I know any of them, which is likely because we live further away. During the meal, several of the females in the group, on very seperate occasions, commented/made fun of my social media useage/one quoted something I'd put on. I laughed it off, but it bothered me; I didn't feel as involved with the group during the evening and the other wives seem much more relaxed around each other; conversations for me felt forced.
I'm feeling quite embarrassed about the social media comments and it's interesting that many of them have seen and comment on my updates but never 'like' any of them. I probably go on social.media as much as most people, but I tend to share a lot more than most: interesting articles, photos, business updates, business advertising etc. I know I share too much in the opinions of some, but I quite enjoy it and it's all positive, but the comments made at the meal made me feel somewhat small and mocked. I did struggle to fit in. Am I being over-sensitive?

OP posts:
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tothesausagesandback · 20/08/2017 08:46

And is this a sign that I need to share less on social media?

OP posts:
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spectacularvelvet · 20/08/2017 08:48

Would your 'business advertising and updates' be your own work from home,get paid to spend more time with your kids type business????

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TokenGinger · 20/08/2017 08:52

OP, don't change how you use social media. Just change your audience so that they don't see what you share. You can select your audience and put friends "except... Twat1,Twat2 etc.".

I hate mean people.

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tothesausagesandback · 20/08/2017 08:53

No its not, just a privately run business.

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Buddy14 · 20/08/2017 08:53

Sorry OP but I find over-sharers on Facebook pretty painful, pushy on their opinions, political posts are the pits ,photo bores and show offs and generally annoying. I had to unfollow the main culprits as I found myself coming to dislike the person which is also not reasonable.

I'm not saying you fit into this - but sharing business stuff is really tedious.

It's your choice to do what you like but be aware that it creates a 'personality' that might not actually match you and people get the wrong impression.

It's never nice to be excluded -they could have let it go, but maybe your posts are extreme? Hard to say!

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longingformore · 20/08/2017 08:55

It was very unkind for them to sit together as a little gang you weren't a part of, and mock you like that. Thankfully you don't have to see them often.

It may be worth taking a look at your social media usage though. If people you don't know well were brazen enough to just mention it to you like that, than I would imagine many others on your facebook are feeling irritated by your posts. You don't have to change your posting for anyone else if you don't want to, but it's worth reflecting on (especially if you are posting about an mlm type business).

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longingformore · 20/08/2017 08:57

Sorry, x post! It isn't an mlm business.

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Fairylea · 20/08/2017 09:00

They sound awful to be honest. Regardless of whatever people think of your Facebook posts etc it's just incredibly bad manners to mock you publically and says a lot more about them than you.

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tehmina23 · 20/08/2017 09:03

I discovered recently that my friends can see the comments I make on newspaper articles so I'm having another look at privacy settings- maybe you could try that?

If you enjoy the news & politics side of FB like I do then carry on but limit who can see your posts i.e. Not those nasty women.

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LellyMcKelly · 20/08/2017 09:06

Use your social media however you want. It's your social media, nobody else's. If they don't like it they can unfriend or unfollow you. When will people learn that they can't control other people's social media; they can only control their own response to it? If they want to be mean to you, let them. It's 10 minutes that they're not being mean about someone else. They probably don't even realise they're making you uncomfortable.

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MyDarlingWhatIfYouFly · 20/08/2017 09:06

Mean girls. Angry

I tend to comment on news articles a lot and my friends can see, sometimes people mention it. I don't see the point of SM if you don't interact. What annoys me more are the people who just use it to nose into other people's lives and not actually contribute anything themselves.

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TangledSlinky · 20/08/2017 09:08

I guess it depends what was said re: your social media usage? DP and I have several friends who are chronic oversharers...in fact my DM is one of them! For the most part they're background noise and we just skip past whatever has been posted, but occasionally there's the odd raised eyebrow or inward roll of eyes if it's a particularly outlandish humble brag or something contentious. If they get too annoying we just unfollow their updates and carry on with our day. I can't imagine ever making fun of them at the dinner table, but I know in our immediate friendship group there have been the occasional glances amongst those of us who rarely post on FB when chronic oversharer has mentioned something that happened online.

On a side note, if you're sharing a lot of business relevant updates have you considered setting up a business page? That way those that are interested could follow the page and then you could always reshare the bigger updates to your personal profile.

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SandyY2K · 20/08/2017 09:08

Regardless of their opinions, they don't sound like very nice people. I wouldn't want to socialise with them again to be honest with you.

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Angelf1sh · 20/08/2017 09:14

Frankly I'd just unfriend them if they upset you that much, but you may not feel you can do that, in which case i'd put them in to a specific friend group and then you can share your posts as she normally would but making sure that the said friend group cannot see them. I do not see any reason why you should change your posting habits just because somebody else was mean to you about them. If they were genuinely bothered by your posting or thought that you were over sharing, they had the power to on follow you or to ignore it like a normal person would. It is none of their business what you put on Facebook.

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Angelf1sh · 20/08/2017 09:14

*unfollow, not on follow!

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SisterhoodisPowerful · 20/08/2017 09:15

SM is for sharing your life and your interests. If people don't like what you share, they need to unfollow or unfriend you. Complaining about other people's SM is just rude. It's unnecessary and assumed that any anyone who is different than you is wrong or weird. Life is too short to waste on people who are rude like that. The only exclusion would be MLM, which should be illegal due to heinous employment practises.

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DamsonGin · 20/08/2017 09:17

Maybe they just found an easy target to tease you over, they sound mean. Carry on however you like but of you want, change the audience settings as mentioned above.

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IdentifiesAsASloth · 20/08/2017 09:25

Try and shrug it off op. You are not close with these women so it's no loss to you. If they are so irritated by you they have the option of unfollowing.

What did they actually say?

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Bonez · 20/08/2017 09:35

I dislike these situations. A group of women who already know each other and yet make next to no effort with the newcomer. I know some people can't be bothered with new people but it's mean leaving people out.

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INeedNewShoes · 20/08/2017 09:39

That's really horrid. You don't really want friends that treat anyone like that anyway. Most grown up women I know would have been making an effort to make sure you felt welcome and part of the evening knowing that you were starting on the outer a bit.

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user1499333856 · 20/08/2017 09:47

They sound like a bunch of bitches. Defriend them and cut them out.

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Cricrichan · 20/08/2017 09:48

If they don't really know you it may be the only thing they thought they could talk about? Did you feel they were gently teasing or deliberately trying to make you feel bad?

Regarding SM - you share and do what you want on it. If people don't like it they can unfollow you. Lotsof People see things on FB but don't 'like' it.

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Minniemagoo · 20/08/2017 09:51

Maybe you should look at seperate SM accounts for your home business and your personal life. Whether MLM or other home business it can be tedious seeing constant updates if its not a business I am interested in yet I dont want to miss any updates.

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SparklingRaspberry · 20/08/2017 09:52

Why should you stop posting on YOUR social media just because of them?!

I'll be honest. It bores me to death when people post constantly about their kids or politics. I either just scroll down or I hide them from my timeline.

Saying that, I mainly post about my dog and I'm sure I probably bore some of my friends on social media as well.

I would never make somebody feel uncomfortable though.

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