A typical example

[shentok]

So every few months me and dh go though a bad patch and the one at the moment is a typical example and I just feel stuck in a rut and unsure of where to go from here. Last Friday eve we were eating takeaway, I had a rather embarrassing mouthful which I couldn't eat gracefully so tipped my head down to hide a little, the next thing I hear is 'What-are-you-doing?!' Obviously through writing I cannot convey the tone but I felt embarrassed and ashamed so my response back was a pause and 'eating my dinner' but sarcastic tone to my voice. His default response to that was 'alright attitude' which is something I hear weekly. I explained that his comment to me had attitude so I gave it back and that why was it ok for him to talk to me that way but I can't respond... his comment to me was 'don't be such a dick'. I got that several times so I grabbed my dinner and went off upstairs. I fell asleep, we didn't talk for most of Saturday.

He went out Saturday night and I got woken at 12.45 with him phoning. I missed it and it's not normal for him to ring so I was worried. I tried phoning back, text to ask why he phoned, tried calling again, text to ask him to let me know he was ok. I could see from whatsapp that he'd been on there after the time of my first call/text. I waited ages, couldn't sleep and text one last time to say I was still waiting to hear if he was ok....nothing. The next morning he didn't say a word about it. He's been silent with me all week. I pulled him up on it tonight as I can't live in silence and he says he's done nothing wrong, he's phone battery died and I should have said something Sunday if I wanted to know what happened. He cannot see that him ignoring my texts etc was a problem. I personally would have felt responsible for keeping someone up for 2 hours on a Saturday night and I would have explained what happened. As it stands, he's not talking to me still and won't see he's flaws. I personally feel like Friday and Saturday were his fault and he should apologies, but like always, I'm having to be the one to try and instigate talks etc as he would just go on and on in silence forever. He says stuff like, do what you want x, you normally do...or 'I could have predicted you would play xyz cards'. Sorry for the massive rant, just had to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading

[Buddy14]

He sounds mean to be honest and looks for excuses to start dramas that make you feel low/lose confidence - and
Eventually you make the move to resolve it so he feels validated "that he was right"

He sounds like a bully enjoying you being miserable and that is not love.

Hope you get some better advice here. It's not good enough OP

[Perfectly1mperfect]

I think it all sounds a little immature. Both of you are not communicating properly.

Firstly, why should you feel embarrassed eating in front of your husband...so you had a large mouthful of food, why hide ? Why would he ask about it ? You are married, nothing should really be embarrassing least of all eating.

And then you walk off, both of you do not speak etc.

I think you need to have a serious think about how you both communicate with each other and whether you are happy with this happening every few months.

Sorry, I have just read it back and it sounds really harsh, I didn't mean for it to.

But comments like him such as 'do what you want you normally do....are very vague. It's like game playing but not actually talking about the actual issue.

[Tearsoffrustration]

Not speaking to each other for a week - because of that? - there's got to be some bigger issues going on?

[Shoxfordian]

Seems like you don't communicate well with each other. Is it always like this? Would you think about separating?