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Struggling to stay positive

(2 Posts)
brooklyn11 Fri 18-Aug-17 12:08:14

Did anyone else feel like this at the end of their relationship?

I am usually positive but really struggled for the last week to keep smiling. It was my choice to end the marriage and I know in a way I'm probably grieving for the last 14 years and the regrets etc. I regret staying too long and not doing what I wanted with my life instead and being held back. I regret letting him make me feel the way he did and speak to me the way he did and made himself the priority and bollocks to what I wanted. He's still trying to emotionally blackmail me even now and is still convinced we will get back together and live happily ever after and some days I feel my resolve weakening because maybe it would be easier to keep pretending.

I do not regret my 3 beautiful children and they are the only things that keep me going! I am struggling to find a job and feel a have lost all my confidence in myself and regret not having the career I wanted.

How did you stay positive and keep smiling because I really need some tips right now! I don't have any family support except my ex's mum and brother but I don't live near my own family. Sorry for the pity party!

pallasathena Fri 18-Aug-17 12:22:17

By making plans, setting goals, making lists and making time to do something for myself even if it was just a glass of wine on a Friday night or an hour pottering in the garden.
Money was tight, kids were small when I left my first husband and I remember just being so, so grateful that I had my health, at the time my youth, a desire to succeed and the determination to give my little children the very best life that I could.
I worked on myself too, lost weight, new hairstyle, experimented with clothes/colours and developed some self confidence...always in short supply throughout my first marriage.
I became my own project essentially.
Oh yes, and I read so many books and articles about emotional abuse that eventually, I not only could immediately read the warning signs, I found my current OH who is wonderful, kind, amazing and everything the ex just wasn't.
Try not to worry. It will work out if you have faith in yourself. It won't if you let others define your reality for you.

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