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The Dating Thread 120: Crazy cat folk wannabes... Unite!

(1000 Posts)
Smeaton Tue 01-Aug-17 22:56:55

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread.

Queenofthedrivensnow Tue 01-Aug-17 22:59:03

Place marking how is everyone?

Smeaton Tue 01-Aug-17 23:09:19

I'm good thanks Queen how's things with you?

I'm just plodding along with my Iron, things haven't really moved on much, no time to see each other for a while. Otherwise messaging lots, sometimes, other times not.

Neither in no rush at all.

YellowAardvark Tue 01-Aug-17 23:13:03

Can we add an 11th rule, being a cat person is ok? grin

What I kinda mean though is that it's ok to be by yourself if the alternative is being unhappy while perusing love. That's my thoughts anyway

user1488575338 Tue 01-Aug-17 23:16:26

Love that yellow - will be using that as my mantra.

YellowAardvark Tue 01-Aug-17 23:18:03

I also had a question - I've posted before about Mr RL who blows hot and cold. We discussed it yesterday and it transpires that the blowing cold coincides with his MH being in a poor state. Does that make the rules different? We're very close friends and I want to be there but am scared I've turned into an emotional airbag - always there to talk about his problems etc.

flowergirl5 Tue 01-Aug-17 23:26:06

Just place marking x

Smeaton Tue 01-Aug-17 23:27:39

Being a cat person is definitely OK.. smile

But I agree. Yellow, I'd rather be alone with my cats than in some of the relationships you read about on here tbh.

I think being an emotional airbag is fine, if its a two way street. If he's there for you when you need him then that's okay, its mutual support iyswim. If its always one way, that's not good, that'll lead to resentment and a feeling like you're being dragged down.

dravensangel Wed 02-Aug-17 00:11:59

Hi everyone, been away from here for a while as been unwell, wondering if I am allergic to dating! @Bant just read your 'cat' message! Love it, you are very wise! Anyone have any updates? @Lana, @lovemusic, @pringle @queen? Feel a bit out of the loop! Mr Motor did not call back, which in hindsight I am fine with. Have one iron at the moment Mr Stone, had a lovely call and arranged date for Sunday, but not overly hopeful! Oh and I have 3 cats! grin

dravensangel Wed 02-Aug-17 00:13:37

Oh and @smeaton thank you for making new thread

LanaDReye Wed 02-Aug-17 00:22:36

Thanks for new thread Smeaton , hi all!

Yellow would you rather it just went back to friends? less confusing or needy in one direction?

I have worked out which iron has started to write to me on What's app, as the second man I recently gave my number to started writing as well and said something linked to pof.

Dates planned for Thu morn (Me Electric), Sat eve (MrHot) and a maybe for Sun (Mr Snowboarder). Still feel strange about the one I cancelled earlier, but he was OTT one minute then ignored my messages over a day other moments (was online).

LanaDReye Wed 02-Aug-17 00:24:39

I'm another cat lover...so will be fine if OLD fails me grin

JellyBean31 Wed 02-Aug-17 06:56:52

Place marking. Thanks Smeaton

yellow personally I'd worry if the MH issues were making him blow hot & cold or if he's always been a bit inconsistent and blaming his health is convenient. It wouldn't be for me so early on.

NoBloodyMore Wed 02-Aug-17 07:30:54

Morning all, I've just caught up on the weekend, sorry I'm rubbish at keeping up!

Learn so much reading in here! I've got 4-5 irons at the minute.

Got one I met on a single parent site then saw him on OKC and he's gorgeous and local and ticks most boxes but he's not great at messaging! He was honest and said he doesn't date as gets really anxious but then I was out Friday night and he sent lots of messages so I thought he was interested but now back to the odd one line message, he gives nothing away, think I need to forget him!

Lovemusic33 Wed 02-Aug-17 09:03:28

Marking my place.

Spent the night on the sofa with my cat 🐱 he doesn't snore, doesn't hog the covers and doesn't fart grin, only down side is he doesn't make me a cup of tea in the morning.

YellowAardvark Wed 02-Aug-17 09:13:32

Thanks for the advice Smeaton Jelly and Lana.

It is mutual support and we are very close, but I am still not even sure whether we are even heading in a relationship direction at all, although we spend a lot of time together and have been doing things that feel like dates without anything physical happening. We have become a lot closer over the past month (saw him 3 times last week just us as well as a night out with friends), but I am still in a state of being unsure about it all as this week I haven't heard from him as much.

I am starting to wonder if I should just lay my cards on the table about how I feel and see what he says. If it's a no at least I can talk openly with him about winding back this strange friendship and will stop hoping for more and can move on. Is that a terrible idea? I have no idea how to even begin that conversation too ...

Then I can get more irons. Or cats. I don't know.

anothernew Wed 02-Aug-17 10:02:33

Thanks Smeaton

Yellow I say talk to him. I usually just blurt stuff out like that as I find it really stressful, but it's important to be able to talk to him isn't it. Either way.

NoBloodyMore I'm an anxious one too. He might be a slow burn.

I'm looking forward to Date 8 tonight with Mr B grin I'm choosing to think of his dating site profile as an oversight/misunderstanding. None of my business.

ShatnersWig Wed 02-Aug-17 10:38:55

What are the options for those of us in flats who can't have a cat or a dog? A fish really isn't the same!

YellowAardvark Wed 02-Aug-17 11:06:05

I can't link here (incompetent) but Shatner if you look up dating cat meme there are plenty of funny things you could probably frame grin

ShatnersWig Wed 02-Aug-17 11:07:34

But you can't stroke or cuddle a meme!

NoBloodyMore Wed 02-Aug-17 11:20:25

Get a house bunny! Can't do some of the things the other "rabbits" can do but they love a good cuddle! Mine is completely litter trained too

yoomoo Wed 02-Aug-17 16:41:23

Hi everyone! Been catching up on your updates, on my phone so can't name check but I have been reading all the posts! So after a very weird Tinder experience last week I deleted my account but then a couple of days later had a 'sod it he's not runining it for me' moment and re-activated! And well aren't irons like buses, nothing and then 2 turn up at once grin
I had a first date yesterday with Mr Builder which was lovely and quite weird as I felt like I'd met the female version of myself, can't decide if that's a maker or a breaker yet but we'll see! He says he's planning our next date for Friday so we'll see what that brings.
Then a few weeks ago I was meant to be meeting Mr Plod but didn't hear from him, well we matched again and he apologised for disappearing but had a drama with a friend so needed to be there for him. So we've now arranged our next date for tonight! Feeling excited to meet him as we get on SO well via WhatsApp but we'll see how it goes. Currently writing this while drying my hair!

LanaDReye Wed 02-Aug-17 23:14:21

How did it go Yoomoo ?

I have two dates tomorrow (30min gap between!) one Friday, one Sat night and a possible Sun. That will break my record of 4 dates over 4 days. Don't have a forerunner as I'm waiting to see what it's like in person. Going off the last two dates I have very low expectations.

yoomoo Wed 02-Aug-17 23:36:29

Hi Lana just got home! It went really well grin very long snog at the end and he'd already sent me a message before I got home to say he'd had a lovely time so for now Mr Plod is a keeper. We've agreed to meet again on Sunday (both already have plans before then!) I am seriously impressed at your planned dates! Tell us about these irons smile

LanaDReye Wed 02-Aug-17 23:42:52

Sounds lovely Yoomoo smile

I have kept to basics with all but one of my current irons as experience has taught me it's better to find out more in person like whether I just think no way straight away .

The one I talked with the most I now think I have nothing in common with. I'm sticking with v short coffee dates for now to not waste too much time!

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