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MIL stirring shit!!!

(10 Posts)
Omgcats Tue 25-Jul-17 14:13:55

I have a very rocky relationship with my mother in law, she's very immature and childish and even her own sons agree she makes everyone around uncomfortable when she gets a mood on. Sometimes I don't even want to be around her and just want to get as far away as possible from her whilst at other times she is like one of my best friends.

My brother in laws girlfriend doesn't like me for some reason even though we have never properly talked, at times she annoys me but I don't dislike her 🤷🏼‍♀️ MIL takes advantage of this and likes to stir shit between us, there have been times one of us has said something and she's ran to the other and told them but twisted it to make it sound bitchy even though it wasn't knowing we would never talk to the other person to work it out. Tbh even if we did talk to each other it would only make things worse with her and she'd probably lie and twist things to make it seem like she never actually said anything. She also plays this stupid little game where she can only like one of us at the same time, so if all is going well with me she will pick faults with BILs girlfriend and if things are good with her she picks faults with me. When things are going good with both of us she pretends to each of us the other has done something wrong or she doesn't like us but still be fine and all sweet to our faces. I am not 100% on what things she says to BILs girlfriend about me but she is always saying to me almost daily that she is a stupid bitch, she's had enough of her, she loves it when she isn't around, just really petty but still quite nasty stuff.

Tbh I've had enough of it now, I've put up with it for years and I just don't know what to do now as it's really starting to effect how I feel about myself and starting to take its toll on my relationship. I wish I could just cut her out of my life but unfortunately that's just not an option. She is an amazing Nana to her step children's kids, something I look forward to having for my own kids, and at times she's an even better mum to me than my own mum.

There is so much else she does that upsets me but I won't get started on that because we'll be here all day and her shit stirring is for me the biggest issue!

Lasagna Tue 25-Jul-17 18:06:28

I don't really know what to say other than that women sounds like a real poisonous piece of work! Why is cutting her off not an option?

Also may I ask how old you all are? You sound quite young.

Allwashedup Tue 25-Jul-17 19:44:56

Sounds like my MIL who thankfully we no longer have contact with! Also your SIL sounds like mine too! Both a nasty piece of work.

Ellisandra Tue 25-Jul-17 20:01:51

Why hasn't your husband told his mother to stop it?

TheEmmaDilemma Tue 25-Jul-17 20:04:46

Your views on here seem very opposing.

Could you not just tell her how she makes you feel?

Omgcats Tue 25-Jul-17 23:02:25

Why hasn't your husband told his mother to stop it? He did at first but it just made her worse and created a bigger problem so I tell him not to anymore.

Your views on here seem very opposing. They probably are, we sometimes get on so well and she is so lovely to me but then randomly she'll turn confused

Omgcats Tue 25-Jul-17 23:03:12

lasagna Me and DH are 23, BIL and his girlfriend are 21 and she's 20 but will be 21 soon I believe.

category12 Wed 26-Jul-17 07:08:13

How about you take control of the conversation and instead of indulging the gossip/shit-stirring you change the tone of the conversation?

So she starts on about your sil, you change the subject and don't engage or listen to it. Walk away and start doing something or start talking about her favourite TV show..

Don't let her pick apart your sil, instead "we all do things differently" / "bil loves her loads and she's a great mum/whatever" / "how about that ballgame, go sports!" You say you don't dislike your sil but just don't get along, so don't be the person that listens to it.

Mil is playing you off against each OTHER. Don't play her game.

Northernparent68 Wed 26-Jul-17 07:14:08

I do nt understand why you have too see her, your husband can take the children to see her while you do something else

I wonder if she is really an amazing grandmother.

NFul Wed 13-Jun-18 14:33:14

OMG this sound just like my MIL .. for years I thought it was just my husband being sensitive, I have trusted this woman for years, to find out she was the biggest drama creator, told lies behind our back and was manipulating everyone in the family! me being me, can't keep my shit when I feel I have been wronged and completely rocked the boat as I have completely had it out with her and she has not liked it one bit!!! but truth prevails and she has been found out for what she truly is! not this perfect loving mother but shit stirring evil madam!

OMG just realized how therapeutic that was typing that out too :D

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