Divorce Financial Consent Order

[Teresa0806]

Hi all,

After years in a very unhappy abusive adulterous marriage ( not me hasn't to add!) I finally divorced my husband last year.. I have been awarded a very reasonable amount of money from the courts, the money is child maintenance ONLY I was awarded the marital home ..

Though I am single I would like to met someone, Im not looking to remarry or live with anyone.. I have 3 children under 10 and they will always come 1st. Though I feel mummy could do with a little bit of romance in her life. . The issue is friends keeps harping on, "make sure he doesn't find out you're seeing anyone, don't remarry or cohabitant as the money will all stop".. Can anyone tell me where I stand as I don't feel its fare I am expected to live life as a nun while my ex goes from from woman to woman bedding any female who shows sign of a pulse.

From a fed up mum who has a zero social life, who feels that she is entitled to one! xx

[Ellisandra]

You need to read your Consent Order.

Do I read correctly that the only ongoing payment you get, is child maintenance?
And in addition to that you were awarded 100% of the former marital home?

If the maintenance is CMS calculation only, your future cohabitation doesn't matter.

If he is paying an element of Spousal Maintenance it will almost certainly have a clause that it stops if you cohabit.

If the CO is child maintenance only but at a rate above CMS, then there might be a clause linking the higher amount to no cohabiting. Though I don't know anyone who had that. But in any case - amounts above CMS in a CO only stand for 12 months, after which he could apply to vary it. If you had a cohabiting partner at that point, the court would consider that in looking at your overall financial position.

As for the house... do you own it now, outright? All in your name, no mortgage - or mortgage in your name - with no conditions? Or do you have to buy him out at some point? In which case, it would be very common for there to be a clause where someone moving in would trigger the buy out.

If you own it but he needs to pay the mortgage, there may also be a clause relating to him not being solely liable for the mortgage if someone moves in. (He'd still be liable to the mortgage company, but his payment may no longer be enforceable by the CO)

Read your CO, and speak to your solicitor.

[Ellisandra]

You really should be totally clear on implications of cohabitation from your solicitor though - ask them!

[Teresa0806]

Hi,

The house is mortgage free in my name only.. The maintenance is children only.. He works overseas and earns a very high wage and is about to get promoted. I was advised that if he took me back to court under the " 12 month rule " he would need good reason and couldn't do it just for the hell of it and he would need to submit earning all over again..

[Teresa0806]

PS My solicitor is an A**, gave me poor advised, I wasn't informed by of the 12 month rule to which I advanced my ex husband £25,000 for him to increase the child maintenance..

[Ellisandra]

Did you tell your solicitor that you had agreed (directly?) with your XH to give him £25K in return for enhanced maintenance?

Sounds like your house cannot be impacted by cohabitation - but as I haven't seen the paperwork, I still say CHECK!

For the child maintenance, I think the biggest risk is him just not paying it. If he's earning outside of the UK there's not a lot that CMS can do to force payment. I certainly wouldn't have been giving up £25K to someone where an attachment of earnings wasn't possible!

Sounds like you've got a good position here - a mortgage free house and sizeable CM. I would concentrate on my own income, in case he stops or reduces paying later - whether or not you cohabit.

[Teresa0806]

It wasn't a direct agreement, my solicitor was aware I advanced him the money, it is my word against my solicitors, in respect of the being notified of the 12 month rule.. Why he didn't say " Mrs?? surely you are aware that parting with such a large sum may be detrimental in 12 months time.. arrrh but no he didn't , I've followed protocol and gone through the complaint procedure about my solicitor but its going to get me nowhere..

Though he works oversea he gets paid into a UK account.. As stated I don't want to live with anyone, it would be foolish .. Just want to have a life that's all and possibly have a positive experience in a relationship..

Thanks for the advice..

[JK1773]

As a solicitor myself it's impossible to answer this without reading your consent order. It sounds like your home is secure but I'm not going to stick my head out and say it definitely is. Why don't you book half an hour with a different solicitor. They can advise you on your order

[Teresa0806]

Just to make it clear I sold the marital home and bought a new one with the equity, in my name only..