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Handhold just had partner arrested

(11 Posts)
Kittyp75 Mon 17-Jul-17 22:53:54

Been with P over 20 years put up with his addictions believing it would get better.

Now have a DC and I've woken up.

Been wanting out for ages but have a mortgage etc and so tied in, neither can afford it on our own.

P on a detox programme for many years now and has been waiting to go in for rehab he's on the list.

He's been out of work for past 6 months so I have been working full time plus extras to make ends meet.

He constantly asks for money telling me he's taking DC out for the day but I doubt this ever happens.

Basically tonight I've wound him up explaining my rights and will leave with DC. He's got angry I egged him on and he put his hands round my throat I phoned the police and they have taken him away.

I think I've behaved badly in egging him on knowing that I could push his buttons.

I'm scared now to what will happen next. I'm waiting for police to return for my statement.

I know SS will get involved now and I feel that it's gone beyond repair.

Tell me if you think I'm in the wrong or hand hold to keep me strong. I have a feeling it's going to be a long road ahead.

Friendofsadgirl Mon 17-Jul-17 23:00:56

It doesn't matter how much you verbally provoked him - he put his hands round your throat and that is very wrong and often an indicator of worsening physical harm in the future. Stay safe. flowers

delftblue Mon 17-Jul-17 23:06:12

You've done the right thing. Well done. What he did was incredibly serious and he could have killed you.

Is there anyone in RL you could contact for support? This is bound to be a bit of a rollercoaster emotionally speaking

Collidascope Mon 17-Jul-17 23:09:41

You're not in the wrong. Telling him you're leaving with the kids isn't you provoking him. The hands round the throat is a massive red flag. Don't take him back. Don't be one of the two women who are killed a week by their partners. You did right to phone the police.

Serahpalin45 Mon 17-Jul-17 23:16:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

M0stlyBowlingHedgehog Mon 17-Jul-17 23:18:13

Hand hold from here.

Strangulation is one of the strongest predictors there is of violence that may escalate to the woman ending up as one of the two women a week killed by their partners - that's why the police take it so incredibly seriously. No matter what you said it doesn't justify that.

(And in any case - I'd lay money that what you said wasn't that bad - you probably simply told him the truth, namely that he was an alcoholic waste of space.)

WTFShouldIDo Mon 17-Jul-17 23:21:11

Here's a hand to hold.

You have absolutely done the right thing. It sounds like you've put up with a lot, for a long time. Good luck with whatever comes next.

RoseOfSharyn Mon 17-Jul-17 23:23:23

I'm coming in with the tough love here abd telling you straight up.....

DON'T EVER FEEL GUILTY FOR PROTECTING YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILDREN

that thing is a cunt. He doesnt even deserve to be called a man.

I hope you press charges and the CPS drah him through court.

You, and your children deserve better.

flowers Kitty because I have been there and know how hard it is. But be strong.

RoseOfSharyn Mon 17-Jul-17 23:26:09

Serahpalin45 sorry I have reported your post because I believe it is on the wrong thread and could cause more upset

Kittyp75 Mon 17-Jul-17 23:34:37

Thank you everyone, police have been back to take my statement. He's in custody as he admitted the assault.
He's going to be taken back to his mums tonight.
I just hope that we can separate without too much stress along the way.
I will not have him back here again. It's been over for a long time I have no loving feelings left for him. Although I do care about him. But I care for my DC more and he's my priority.
His aggression has been getting worse verbally but this is the first time he's laid hands on me.

Friendofsadgirl Mon 17-Jul-17 23:38:38

I'm very glad to hear that you won't have him back. Be strong and look after yourself. flowers

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