Feeling a little upset/confused by DH's behaviour and wondered if there were any psychologywise types who may know what on earth is going on with my DH? I'm starting to worry that his behaviour is all my fault.
DH is in a managerial position at work and is thought of extremely highly by co-workers and seniors alike.
On first dating DH and on meeting some of his colleagues, they made jokes about me taking good care of him and gave me lots of congratulations for landing such a fab bloke.
Years down the line, with DCs, I see DH in a much different light than when we had first met. He needs constant reminders and direction at home, wouldn't take on any share of the domestic chores at all without me asking, is completely self centred with his time, making himself unavailable regularly due to hobbies and socialising. It has knocked me greatly. I must be a terrible person for a "great bloke" to behave like this in our home surely?
Anyway, I'd told myself that the exhaustion of DCS etc had changed DH and maybe he was struggling juggling work and home.
That was until I was invited to an open day at his work place and wow. I could not believe the man I've come to know at home. I found him hugely atractive and desirable watching him at work as opposed to the non productive, selfish behaviour I see at home. He completely led the whole day, organised everything and everyone, was completely stuck in. He was utterly amazing. I saw him in a whole new light. What has happened to DH? Is it my fault that he is able to take control, use his initiative and be organised in the workplace and behaves like a teenager at home? Leaving mess everywhere, ignoring his share of the chores? Leaving the childcare to me whilst he goes off on his solo ventures? What is going on here? It's really knocked the way I feel about myself and obviously, my relationship. His colleagues think so highly of him, I quite frankly, don't. Is it me? Have I driven him to behave like a child at home? I deserve better than this, surely?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
DH: Star in the workplace, selfish at home
lingoludo · 16/07/2017 16:48
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