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Should I take a step back?

(4 Posts)
NoMoreDecorating Tue 11-Jul-17 19:49:15

Wasn't really sure which board to put this on, sorry if it's in the wrong place. I've also NC for this post.

I'm 6 months pregnant with dc#3, which I'm very happy about. However I have a close friend who is going through a very hard time with her mental health atm, she's self harmed while drunk on a few occasions recently and is spending every weekend drinking heavily, including during the day, to try and cope with things. She has a child of her own who goes to his fathers every weekend and a boyfriend who she sees only on the weekends (not judging, this is just in case any of this is relavent.) She is on anti depressents for her depression too and I'm there for her as often as possible when I'm not at work, though I'm limiting contact and phone calls at the weekend just now due to her repeatedly requesting I come drink with her/phone calls repeatedly throughout the day and night with her going on and on about my baby.

And this is my issue tbh, I'm not sure if perhaps I'm being over sensitive/precious or just worrying for no reason but I'm beginning to get really worried about the way she focuses on my pregnancy/baby. Even when she's sober she will talk at length about how she feels this baby is hers, how she can't wait until I have him so she can take him for over nights (we've never watched each others children over night before and I don't see a situation where I would need over night care that my family wouldn't be able to provide if it came to it). She talks about how she doesn't like the name I've picked and how she's going to call him one she likes, about how he's her boy and she's going to love him so much and be there every day, criticises what pram I've bought/my decision to breast feed/doesn't think I should put him in a moses basket etc.

She is able to have more children in case that helps too? And in case it is relevant, when I first found out I was pregnant my partner got cold feet in a very major way, however we are quickly working things out and he seems to be very happy with it now (pregnancy was unplanned, contraception failure). She was a big support during this time and I appreciate it so much, I don't want to say anything to her about my concerns atm just in case I do push her away when she's done nothing but be there for me.

Am I just being horrible and ungrateful and this is normal, or do I have a reason to worry?

Nainer123 Tue 11-Jul-17 20:15:30

I think you should trust you gut instinct. If something tells you somethig isn't right then it probably isn't. So if you have to distance yourself then that's what you have to do. Remember you're the one thats pregnant and dont need added stress ect you need to focus on yourself. You don't have to be horrible about it just gradually distance yourself.
Unless you feel this is a real problem and are uncomfortable with it then I see no reason not to confront her with it. If you are friends then surely you can speak openly.
Me personally from what you've written here I'd have a talk with her about it because this behaviour would make me feel very uncomfortable and annoyed.

NoMoreDecorating Tue 11-Jul-17 20:28:36

It does make me feel very uncomfortable, worried too to a certain extent, I just can't quite put my finger on why. It's not even the fact that she's criticising things, more that I'm worried she actually does see my baby as hers, but at the same time feel quite daft even thinking along those lines.

Normally we can talk to each other about things but I'm worried with her mental health already being quite unstable me saying anything might make her worse. I'm slowly cutting down texts/phone calls and haven't visited for a cuppa today, just feel really crap for it too.

debbs77 Tue 11-Jul-17 23:30:57

Oh goodness. No no no. This is all kinds of wrong!!!

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