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Talking to someone online, but im a little uneasy?

(38 Posts)
gaynor83 Mon 10-Jul-17 18:02:16

I became friends with a guy on facebook, he added me as we were both in a group about music and got talking.
This was just over a week ago.
I really like talking to him, he is Turkish and lives there, im pretty sure he is who he says he is etc. The thing is after really only a few days of chatting, he sent a suggestive pic of him in his shorts, which he subsequently apologised for and said he was drunk. I said im not like that, and we continued to chat. But he keeps saying how much he likes me, do i like him, and then leaving voice recordings in a similar vein.
I do like talking to him and find him interesting and intelligent, but he seems kind of full on in such a short space of time. Im pretty shy and cautious, im 34 and have been single for a few years now, and i guess im not used to it. Am i just being too wary? Ive clammed up on him now because i felt on the spot.
Thanks for any advice! smile

Brahms3rdracket Mon 10-Jul-17 18:06:45

You're talking to someone you've never met, don't know from Adam and could be anyone. I really don't think you can be accused of being too wary, but incredibly naive. I would block as soon as the photos started personally. Go out and meet someone real.

lemonsandlimes123 Mon 10-Jul-17 18:06:53

Sounds super creepy. Block and move on!

Ellisandra Mon 10-Jul-17 18:07:42

What are you looking for here - friendship to talk about music, or romance? Sounds like the latter.

My opinion is that even if he's a great and genuine bloke who would (one day!) be as keen for you to move to Turkey as for him to move to the UK, and even if it was a bad drunken move to send you sexual pictures within a week, and even if he wasn't irritatingly needy in his voicemails* then...

he's in Turkey! It's too damn complicated! There are men right here in the UK

*just run: needy messages? He sounds like a cliché of a Turkish waiter who has learned that some British women fall for a bit of OTT declarations of interest, manipulative flattery.

I wouldn't bother if he wasn't Turkish. Certainly would want the added geographical complication!

GeekyWombat Mon 10-Jul-17 18:08:03

Sorry OP but thirded. Block and move on.

AfunaMbatata Mon 10-Jul-17 18:08:12

Sounds like a scammer.

JK1773 Mon 10-Jul-17 18:30:57

Yep I agree. Block him. I doubt he was drunk, he's just testing the water and trying to gauge your boundaries

gaynor83 Mon 10-Jul-17 18:35:14

Hmm yeah i think youre all right, i just wanted to see if others agreed. My thoughts exactly. At first i didnt think he was the "turkish waiter" type but i suppose its become evident.
I wasnt looking for romance but hadnt ruled it out, i guess. Think the fact that hes so far away is off putting in itself, but probably for the best.

Aquamarine1029 Mon 10-Jul-17 18:39:49

He's a creep. Block him asap.

fourquenelles Mon 10-Jul-17 18:47:17

Have a look at for the modus operandi of the internet love bombing scammers. Different country, same script.

gaynor83 Mon 10-Jul-17 19:09:31

Yes ive read about such things...i didnt want to think they were all alike but maybe theres a strong trend happening!

Maverick66 Mon 10-Jul-17 19:33:39

Block, block, block, block block, block and just to be sure block.

user1490465531 Mon 10-Jul-17 20:21:57

To be honest I used to chat to a turkish man online he was a teacher very intelligent perfect english and not the waiter type love rats you spend often hear about.
In the end due to distance I left it but why is everyone on here so convinced every turkish or foriegn man from abroad is a scammer.
Of course there are scammers but as long as you know what to look for and never send money it's o.k
Is it so wrong to fall in love with a foreign man and why can it never be genuine.
And all the meet someone here comments well I've only got to read this board to see how English men treat there partners to be put of-most English men seem to treat women like shit nowadays.

noego Mon 10-Jul-17 20:30:44

I had a GF who met a Turkish guy on line. He took her for every penny. Just saying!!!!!

KinkyAfro Mon 10-Jul-17 20:41:45

How old is he?

TheNaze73 Mon 10-Jul-17 20:59:43

OP. Block & move on.

The dodgy unsolicited pic backed up with the "I was drunk " chestnut.....

Listen to what everyone is saying

KittyKatty123 Mon 10-Jul-17 21:01:47

I'd defriend and block him immediately. Also I'd never Facebook friend someone I'd never met, wouldn't even give out my phone number, chat online and meet first to suss them out. I'm sure you are enjoying the attention but there are plenty of nice guys in the UK to chat to online and far easier to check them out and make sure they are not scammers / psychos / controlling / players / whatever. Have you joined any dating sites?

gaynor83 Mon 10-Jul-17 21:12:44

I havent had much luck in real life haha. Im single and i really quite enjoy it. I suppose im just open minded to new people etc. Im sure all foreign men arent the same, of course. He does seem interesting and intelligent, but his way of chatting isnt for me i guess. The boxers pic really put me off. Even though it wasnt explicit it was certainly suggestive and that didnt sit right with me.

KittyKatty123 Mon 10-Jul-17 21:15:49

Well you have been warned. I'd run a mile.

gaynor83 Tue 11-Jul-17 07:17:45

Btw he said hes 34, same as me.
He does sound very intelligent and well read, definitely not a typical "waiter" type.But wanting to chat every day and the other things i mentioned just seem a bit much.
Im gonna leave it guess its not worth getting into.

fourquenelles Tue 11-Jul-17 11:37:49

Red flags :
wanting you to talk every day; very soon it will be wanting you on line at all times so you knows where you are what you are doing and, very importantly, so he knows you are not being hooked by another scammer.
picture of him in his boxers; wanted to see your reaction as to whether he can cut corners on the time consuming wooing phase.

Not all scammers are waiters. I was taken in for a while by an intelligent, university graduate. There is nothing wrong with chatting on line to people but please be aware he is DEFINITELY NOT who he says he is.
bitter experience

gaynor83 Tue 11-Jul-17 13:47:50

Hmm not going to reply further. He did say he still lives with his mother...and works..but something doesnt sit right. Im dont want to be an online girlfriend anyhow. It might have been different if we had simply chatted occadionally for a while but this seemed so fast.
What exactly do you mean by they try to get you to send money?or move here? Ive no experience of this, im sorry that you have.
Thanks for all advice its helped straighten things out for me.

CoughingForWeeks Tue 11-Jul-17 14:40:02

Go with your gut; if it's telling you that things aren't right, there's usually a reason for that.

gaynor83 Tue 11-Jul-17 16:29:40

Yep, thats very true.

Gotanewusernamenow Tue 11-Jul-17 16:38:29

Yes if he was testing the waters like op said. Then that's pathetic behaviour in itself.

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