Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am I being over sensitive? Is this a thing?

(11 Posts)
Poobumandwee Sun 09-Jul-17 23:14:54

Hi all. I've been taking anti-depressants for a few months and am generally feeling much better. Work has been going really well and I have some amazing friends who support me. My ongoing problem is my relationship with my DP - we have a 6 year old dd together and have both work full time. I can't tell if it's me being over sensitive about things - or whether I need to address things further. I got really annoyed over three incidents today. I wanted to stand my ground, but just kept quiet to avoid arguing. The three incidents are typical of our relationship and why things are not going well. Today, we needed to leave the house quite quickly for a day trip. I was ready, and waited for about 45mins for my partner - who I felt was being very precise and over fussy - about getting ready. He then blamed me for lateness saying 'I didn't know you were ready'. On the way out of the car park from day trip, an old couple were driving out with their car boot open. We were driving behind and I asked my partner to flash them. Dp seemed annoyed that I asked him to do this, did it twice and then got angry with me when I asked him to do it again as they hadn't noticed. Lastly, I spent 2 hours blitzing a very untidy house yesterday. This included cleaning mould from the shower which was pretty yuk, and built up over a few weeks. Then heard dp moaning to dd about a small splash of yellow shampoo I'd left on the shower door. Apparently this is a big problem - whereas the large amount of mould had not been noticed for weeks? This all sounds so petty - but it's constant and I now just find myself avoiding his company as much as possible.

HarmlessChap Sun 09-Jul-17 23:23:59

No you aren't over reacting, he knew what time to be ready (presumably), he may not have wanted to keep flashing the people but why get angry and shampoo is easily removed so no big deal.

Sounds like he's being an arse.

Poobumandwee Sun 09-Jul-17 23:36:13

Thank you harmless. It just a general feeling of - trying to do the right thing - but being criticised and unsupported. And - if I try to state my reasoning - I'm 'shouted down' or dismissed. Things won't change, I'm not sure what to do.

Tofutti Sun 09-Jul-17 23:40:48

Sounds like he could be the cause if your depression!

Stop biting your tongue, and go blast him for moaning about a bit of shampoo when he didn't help you do any cleaning!

Does he do his share of housework? DH and I work both work full time, he brushes and mops downstairs, I hoover up stairs, he cleans the bathroom every week, I keep the kitchen clean. One cooks, the other cleans.

If either of is lazy and misses the cleaning one weekend, we know the other persion will not do it all (unless there is sickness or other reason).

Poobumandwee Sun 09-Jul-17 23:44:55

I haven't told my partner about me taking anti-depressants as I know he would be critical. A lot of things I enjoy I feel I need to hide - eg listening to music. A friend who came round recently commented that she felt he 'followed' us around the house - and didn't want to give us space?

Poobumandwee Sun 09-Jul-17 23:48:09

No - I do the vast majority. He does to things, but spends a very long time doing a quick job. He likes cooking and helps with that.

Poobumandwee Sun 09-Jul-17 23:50:46

Thanks tofutti. I'm thinking our relationship might be the cause too - especially as all other aspects of my life are going well.

Poobumandwee Mon 10-Jul-17 04:05:02

Just been woken at 3.30am by dp going to bed and can't get back to sleep. This is a regular occurrence and I like to go to bed early. Dp was telling me last week that he thinks I have a sleep disorder.

Poobumandwee Mon 10-Jul-17 04:06:35

Think it's more disordered to sleep on the sofa every night til 3.30am and then wake me by - noisily - going to bed??

Poobumandwee Mon 10-Jul-17 04:18:35

Anyway I had a strange dream. Dp and I are on holiday and it is all very strange. I tell him I think the staff may be criminals - he thinks I'm silly. The staff try to persuade me to buy a hamper for £500 saying it is for charity. Dp thinks I should, but I refuse and tell the staff it's a scam. Dp is angry, and the staff turn against us and are going to hurt us and other hotel guests in a room. I escape the room and tell dp to hide in a toilet. He again tells me I'm wrong, but we hide. A door is left open and other hotel guests come in to hide too, but hurt Dp. I get him into another toilet to hide but there is no lock so I say let's sit with our feet against the door. Again he says this is silly and won't help. I hear a work colleague outside (she is very kind) she says she will help us to the airport. All our belongings are in a huge mess and I'm trying to pick up what I can - and make sure we have important things - again I'm on my own, but I feel safe with work colleague who gets us to the airport.

Shoxfordian Mon 10-Jul-17 06:36:20

It doesn't sound like a healthy relationship
Have you thought of leaving him?

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now