Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Drunken conversation has me worried

(32 Posts)
MichelleNeedsMore Sun 09-Jul-17 18:13:16

I was chatting to my best friend yesterday evening and she confessed something that I was shocked by. She is single and has been for years, and has one son who is away at University. We had polished off most of a couple of bottles of wine when my friend stated she couldn't wait for her son to come back from Uni - and asked me if I thought he was attractive. I just chuckled and said I thought for a 19 year old I thought he was a good looking lad. She then admitted to me that she probably shouldn't share this with me but she sometimes finds him really attractive! I think she realised I was shocked so she changed the subject quickly, but I could tell she was embarrassed. My question is should I bring this up with her again when we are sober, or even mention it to her son?

MyheartbelongstoG Sun 09-Jul-17 18:16:24

I think one of my brothers is very attractive, one of my daughters is particularly beautiful.

What's wrong with her comment?

MyheartbelongstoG Sun 09-Jul-17 18:17:35

I can remember my ex monster in law saying her daughter was ugly and what did I think.

Yoksha Sun 09-Jul-17 18:29:44

My late M-il used to think her son was handsome. I never thought much about it, but agreed with her. She was a beauty in her day.

I think one of my S-il's is a tall handsome lad, but that's as far as it goes. My daughter doesn't feel uncomfortable with my remark.

My Dh has been known to comment to me how like his late mum our youngest Dd is. It doesn't affect me either way. She's my Dr, and I think she's the most beautiful creature in the world. As are my oldest Dd and her two children. It's how we are.

Yoksha Sun 09-Jul-17 18:30:56

*Dd. Not Dr.

TheNewSchmoo Sun 09-Jul-17 18:44:10

What a truly weird post. Says more about the workings of your mind than about your friend's.

My nephew is an extremely attractive young man (doesn't get it from his Dad.... My brother's an ugly fucker). I don't have naughty thoughts about him ffs.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sun 09-Jul-17 18:48:08

It is a bit weird. But our whole culture is based on looks. My DS3 was stunning between the age of 11-15 and I used to look at him and think "how have I produced a child so beautiful" ooh, yuk, but I did.

He's still good looking at 17 but not quite the stunner 😀

MichelleNeedsMore Sun 09-Jul-17 19:12:47

I'm sorry if it seems like a weird post. The comment came in the context of men we fancy - not just think are good looking.

Bluntness100 Sun 09-Jul-17 19:19:20

I understand what you're saying op. There is a big difference between finding someone attractive and thinking they are attractive. The first indicates you are attracted to them. The second you think they are good looking at that's it.

You think she was admitting to being attracted to her own son and yes based on context and what she said it does seem this is what she was sharing with you.

I don't think you can bring it up again. I'm not sure what I'd do about it to be honest, it's all kinds of wrong. I think I'd probably distance myself as it would make me so uncomfortable.

demirose87 Sun 09-Jul-17 19:20:14

It depends by what she meant, does she just find him attractive, or is she herself sexually attracted to him?? Sounds odd to me if it was in the context of men you fancy.

RhubardGin Sun 09-Jul-17 19:27:08

Are you suggesting that your friend is looking forward to her son coming home because she finds him sexually attractive and wants a bit of eye candy around the house?

MichelleNeedsMore Sun 09-Jul-17 19:32:32

That was what she was inferring yes Rhubard. I had just admitted I found my boss really sexy....

BifsWif Sun 09-Jul-17 19:33:06

I see what you're saying OP, and in the context yes I would find it strange. The fact that she said she probably shouldn't tell you and then acted embarrassed is what stood out to me.

I'd have to distance myself a little bit, either that or ask her to explain what she meant. Her reaction should tell you how she meant it.

AufderAutobahn Sun 09-Jul-17 19:38:23

In the context you describe, that does sound very wrong. Imagine if a man said that about his daughter. Is there anything else that causes concern? I would keep my distance too.

Yoksha Sun 09-Jul-17 19:40:46

In the context OP I agree with PP. I'd have to distance myself if I were you. Truly. 😫

MissBax Sun 09-Jul-17 19:50:54

Hmm it does sound odd but you were both half cut, could it have been a misunderstanding?

RhubardGin Sun 09-Jul-17 20:00:04


That's disgusting.

Definitely distance yourself OP.

MichelleNeedsMore Sun 09-Jul-17 21:07:25

I guess she may have let something out she regrets now. I don't want to lose a friend over a fantasy

HotNatured Sun 09-Jul-17 22:16:51

Don't distance yourself FFS! That would be an unfair and totally ott reaction. Your her friend ! She was drunk, just let it go. Jeez get a grip posters who have suggested that she should hmm

HotNatured Sun 09-Jul-17 22:17:08


daddyorscience Mon 10-Jul-17 07:48:22

People do odd things when they're drunk. I well remember a family member being considerably hammered, totally unable to recognise her adult DS, looking at him very closely, and saying "f..K me, you're ugly".

Next morning, zero recall, total denial, until she saw the video. She was mortified. Everyone else, including her DS found it funny.

Keep things as they are, carry on.

RhubardGin Mon 10-Jul-17 10:01:12


Would it be an over reaction if a father had said he found his daughter sexually attractive?

NinonDeLenclos Mon 10-Jul-17 16:55:20

It is an ick thing to admit, but it is territory familiar to Freud, Shakespeare & DH Lawrence.

Of course you should not bring it up, let alone mention it to the son.

DarklyDreamingDexter Mon 10-Jul-17 22:41:13

Maybe it came out wrong as she was drunk. Maybe the lad looks like his dad who she fancied when he was young. I'd just left it drop. You are putting 2 and 2 together and making 5.

MichelleNeedsMore Tue 11-Jul-17 08:14:35

I think you're probably right Ninon - it is probably just the darker side of her psyche which the alcohol opened up

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: