NC for this. Been with DP a few years, it's not been without issues. But something has been niggling me for a long time now. Sorry for the essay.
18 months into our relationship, his best mate came over for a few drinks one night. His best mate has always made it obvious he found me attractive, but on this particular night he started whispering rude stuff in my ear at which point my DP noticed and said " Get your hands off my woman" in a joking sort of way. But later on that night, after way too many Jaegarbombs we were all sitting on the sofa, it is quite a large L shaped sofa and I was pretty drunk (but still completely with it!) and I was sitting with my knees up towards me (I was wearing a 3/4 flowing skirt). My DP was sitting on the right and his best friend was sitting on the left and there was music playing etc well his best mate started stroking me under my skirt very close to you know where. You could tell he was trying to make sure my DP couldn't see. I got up as soon as I caught on to what was happening and made an excuse that I was tired and went to bed.
I didn't tell my DP what happened for a whole month, because I guess I just rationalised it as a man who had a few too much to drink. But he is married also, and his wife is also close friends with my DP. And after a conversation with a friend of mine who is a police officer who said what happened is basically assault I decided to bring it up. Don't get me wrong I know wasn't raped or anything but I never gave him any inclination that I wanted him to do what he did.
I decided to tell my DP what happened, but he did nothing about it and is still continuing to be friends with him Sometimes I've wondered whether it was "planned" to see if something else would have developed that night between all 3 of us. But my DP has never struck me as the kind of person who would be into that, and he knows I'm not into that kind of thing either.
Since that night, I've made myself scarce around his best mate. I make sure I leave the house every time I know he is coming round. And haven't seen him for about 18 months because my DP now goes out for drinks with him rather than have him round. But now I'm feeling really hurt by my DP's actions more than what actually happened. Because he seems to not care about how I feel. Am I being unreasonable for thinking he shouldn't even be friends with him anymore, and at the very least he should have told his friend that his actions were out of order?
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Would this upset you?
7 replies
OhMyYears · 08/07/2017 10:16
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