Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Am I heading for a fall?

(6 Posts)
beingmeagain Fri 07-Jul-17 19:24:36

So to cut a long story short, my husband and I separated a few weeks ago. Things weren't right for a year and I tried my upmost to 'fix' things and there was nothing from him. Turns out there was an ow who he has is now living with. The first week he left I was devastated and cried all the time, wanted him back but this second week I feel absolutely nothing. I still love him (we've been together for almost 20 years) but I am actually looking forward to my new future. Is this because I maybe subconsciously knew it was over or is this just the beginning and there is a darkness still to come?? I actually told him today that I was happy and wish him and his gf well which I think confused him and maybe he thought I was putting on a front.

SweetLuck Fri 07-Jul-17 19:35:31

I was on such a high after I left my DH that I was convinced maybe I'd be headed for a 'fall' at some point. 5 years on and it hasn't happened yet grin

Hassled Fri 07-Jul-17 19:38:26

I expect part of you is relieved - when my first H had an affair, part of me was devastated and another part of me was thinking "thank god I have an excuse to go now". If you knew things weren't right for a while you were probably preparing yourself in some way. You're bound to have some wobbles in the weeks to come but the very best of luck - try to stay positive.

RaspberryBeret34 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:45:18

I was super calm after my ex had an affair and I left. The horrible 18 months previously meant it felt like a relief when I finally knew the truth. Nearly 5 years on and I never had a big crash (I think people were expecting it!) and I'm generally very happy and still calm!

I think be kind to yourself and don't make too many big decisions or statements but fingers crossed you are just looking towards the future and feeling relief you don't have to keep working at it.

beingmeagain Fri 07-Jul-17 21:08:04

It's good to hear other positive stories. I'm so glad I feel this way and can concentrate on me for once. A small part of me is slightly smug because I don't think their relationship will work and I will be the one who will be happy and able to move on.

venusandmars Fri 07-Jul-17 21:18:29

Also, if you do feel a dip in your mood, well that is all it is - a dip. You'll recover and bounce back stronger than ever.

He probably won't. He will feel foolish and angry and sad.

His emotions are all related to his hurt (which he caused). Your emotions are related to your freedom and strength.


Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: