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CSA wanting MY bank statements

(15 Posts)
Stormcloud10 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:15:33

So I'm trying to switch over to collect and pay after a few (lot) missed payments. I thought a letter would have been sent out by now but I just had a phone call from a rather unfriendly lady who said I have to send bank statements to them to prove that I haven't been paid.

Apparently if I don't comply then it'll go against me (?) I wasn't rude or difficult, I just said I would send a statement showing the date the payment was supposed to go in and 5 days following but I was uncomfortable sending a whole statement, and I thought it was up to the paying parent to prove it had been paid.

Apparently I'm wrong, and a she kept talking about me "not complying"
I'm not being deliberately difficult and will send one if I have to, but I now feel like crap like I'm in the wrong for wanting a contribution to my dc, considering I've had £200 in 12 years! Anyone else been asked for this?

user1497480444 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:18:52

Pretty standard. showing just 5 days will prove nothing at all. Why wouldn't you give her the whole lot?

NCforIS Fri 07-Jul-17 19:21:50

Are you the payer or payee?

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 07-Jul-17 19:23:42

just copy them and cross out all the amounts...there's surely no need for them to know your leccy direct debit is £34 or that you spent £6.50 in WHsmiths.

ems137 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:26:36

I'd be pissed off as well but unfortunately there's no way around it.

You have every right to receive money towards your children. And your waste of space ex should provide it without causing a problem but he's clearly trying to get out of it by saying he's paid you! Prove him wrong and make him pay.

Stormcloud10 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:27:17

As I said, I will if I have to. It just made me uncomfortable that's all. I've been thinking about it as I posted and the situation with my sons biological father is very difficult and I think that's what makes me feel uncomfortable. It's almost as if it's him intruding in my life, I guess I need to remind myself it's not actually him.

To save drip feeding he was convicted of abusing my son when he was 3 months old, we have a non-direct contact order. I only contacted the CSA last year because I needed the financial help and even that was a very difficult decision.

LowGravity Fri 07-Jul-17 19:31:57

Typical, the entire onus falls on the RP. I am currently awaiting tribunal as it's up to me to prove my ex is loaded hmm
I would do as pp said, just put a marker through all the amounts and leave the names of debits/credits. They don't need to see them, just that your exes name isn't on there.

ShatnersBassoon Fri 07-Jul-17 19:32:58

Send the statement and get the ball rolling. You won't achieve anything by knowingly not complying with their demands, and really it's no more difficult to send the whole month's statement than a week's worth.

Ditsy1980 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:40:14

Ok, so I'm in a very similar situation and I asked to move to collect and pay last month if payment was missed again at the end of June. I had a phone call yesterday to go through it all. I wasn't asked to provide any proof of non-payment at all. They're contacting ex-h, he has 15 days to make right the shortfall or state why not, on the 16th day our claim will move over to collect and pay.

This makes me think that your ex has disputed the non-payment. As a form of control maybe? I did think it was the payee responsibility to prove payment made.

I'd give them the bank statements. He won't see them or know what's in them. Keep reminding yourself he is one step removed. The end goal is financial support for your child. Good luck.

donners312 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:43:22

I agree its totally unfair as usual that the onus on you to prove that he hasn't paid.

But just do it and good luck!

Stormcloud10 Fri 07-Jul-17 19:46:59

Ditsy I bet you're right, which is why she was rather grumpy with me when I was so surprised they'd asked for them!

Cinderford Fri 07-Jul-17 22:03:26

Storm, I had to go to Collect and Pay for the last few years of maintenance, and the CSA /CMO didn't ask me for proof that XH hadn't paid. Maybe Ditsy is right and your XP is disputing non-payment. Just remember that his stupid intransigence will cost him a 20% admin charge on top of what he pays you grin

HeddaGarbled Fri 07-Jul-17 23:10:35

Just send them the statements and stop making things more difficult than they need to be. No one is suggesting you are in the wrong for wanting the contribution, you've just made that up.

The person you spoke to on the phone and the CMS in general couldn't give a fuck about how much you spend at Asda etc. They have procedures to follow. It's not personal. They are not judging you. But they can't do their job if you refuse to give them the information their system requires.

Don't deprive your child/children of their rightful maintenance by being irrationally obstructive.

ladylambkin Fri 07-Jul-17 23:19:45

I agree with previous posters, he might have told them he has paid so it's standard practice to ask both of you to provide evidence. If neither of you provide evidence then there is a risk it won't be changed over

Stormcloud10 Sat 08-Jul-17 00:21:30

HeddaGarbled- wow ok. I haven't refused at all and I also didn't say anybody said I was in the wrong for wanting a contribution. I haven't "made anything up"

As for "irrationally obstructive" I'm assuming you missed my post where I explained why I felt the way I did and also that I accepted I was wrong and that I knew it wasn't personal. I'm clearly not going to deprive my child, I take your point but no need to be quite so aggressive really.

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