Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Not telling the DC about us

(4 Posts)
strivingforsuccess Mon 03-Jul-17 17:14:02

I've been seeing my OH for just over a year and we're at the stage where we've agreed to let the kids know.

His kids have guessed that he has a GF (they told/asked him) and he hasn't denied it and I've now told mine. Inadvertently his children and I have met on numerous occasions, enough to hold a conversation and he's met mine and been around to "help" with kids gadgets etc when I don't know what to do with them!

He said he would be telling the kids (who in turn would no doubt tell the ex) when he returned from a work trip - nearly a month later and he's still not had the conversation with them. All his extended family know (I've met some) along with his friends and work colleagues.

He says he's committed to the relationship but it's "difficult, the ex would make life difficult, not been the right time", and that's why he's not yet told them.

We're still happy to keep seeing one another without our kids and not co-joining the families on days out etc.

AIBU expecting him to take this step as for some reason, this is now important to me?

Justhadmyhaircut Mon 03-Jul-17 17:17:04

His duty to be respectful of your relationships- ie make it public - should outweigh his need to keep exw face straight after a year imo. .

strivingforsuccess Mon 03-Jul-17 17:22:36

This is also what I think - thanks!

SaltySeaDog72 Mon 03-Jul-17 19:37:51

I would see this as an amber/red flag for the future of this relationship more than a relationship issue tbh (assuming the dc are young and you might at some point move in - which of course doesn't have to follow) - how old are the kids? Would they not have let it slip? Surely she would cotton on? I would find it annoying but would it be a dealbreaker? Dunno. I would ask 'make things difficult in what way' and see what he says?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: