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DP is like two different people and i am so confused

(88 Posts)
blueflower30 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:35:53

My DP can change to a completely different person within seconds . I am so confused and it drives me to depression. I dont know whats real anymore and i keep thinking that i should leave but then he becomes so nice and it makes me think that its all my fault. It makes me think thats something is wrong with me and i cause all these problems and i will end up leaving a great guy because of whatever is wrong with me
He can be this nice attentive guy , he will spend all his time with me, he will put me first and be so loving and sweet.
And then he can be the guy who will go from 0-100 within seconds and he can turn very nasty and vengeful. Example i took two days off work so we can spend sometime together but because i hadnt discussed it with him first he was certain that i took these days for other reasons . He gave me hell to the point that i fell ill and made me promise that i will "give him the two days i own him" by calling sick at work and replace those days for him. Also because i took those days off he kept secret from me that he was going away for work until the last day, so he can "teach me a lesson"
He can express his opinions and whatever bothers him and i will listen. If i disagree he will get annoyed and angry. If i try to talk about something that bothered me i will "have to be quick" and "let go" and "stop ruin the night ". I feel that its ok for him to say anything no matter how hurtful it is (he mocks my accent for a year now, i can take a joke no problem but its a whole year and its got tiring especially when he tries to mimic everything i say, he watches tv programs and he will compare me with the most unappealing characters, he will say hurtful things about my life choices etc) but when i try to talk about something that bothered me he doesnt give me the option. It just seem that i can never have problem.
Then he will be that great guy again and i will think that something must be wrong with me and i cause all the problems. I am so so sad and confused

AudTheDeepMinded Thu 29-Jun-17 19:40:30

There's nothing wrong with you. He's abusive and you can't fix him. Leave and find someone worthy of you!

TheDiamondMumcrafter Thu 29-Jun-17 19:42:17

He's an abusive arsehole. There is nothing wrong with you. He is supposed to love you.

becotide Thu 29-Jun-17 19:42:40

He's not a 'great guy', he's an abusive cunt who pretends to be a great guy for just long enough to stop you leaving

AlternativeTentacle Thu 29-Jun-17 19:44:16

You will not be leaving a great guy. You will be escaping an abuser.

Penfold007 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:44:46

You are the victim in an abusive relationship.

ohfourfoxache Thu 29-Jun-17 19:44:54

What the actual fuck? shock

Run for the fucking hills. Run fast, run far.

Hairhorror1 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:46:12

Jeez op. Do yourself a favour and get out.
He is completely controlling you.

kkkkaty123 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:47:13

Exactly what becotide said. Word for word

ChristianGreysAnatomy Thu 29-Jun-17 19:47:29

What a total dick. Even if he was sometimes the Lord God almighty and Brad Pitt rolled into one, it wouldn't be enough to make up for the shitty way he treats you. LTB.

Bluntness100 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:47:36

Jesus, what an absolute arsehole. Sorry sweetie he is deeply controlling and abusive. Time to end it, it's really not you it's him.

Take a step back. Forcing someone to call in sick for two days, is that normal?

You can be sad you fell for such a nutter. You can't be confused though. You need to end it, before you literally become a shadow of whatbyou once were.

TheClacksAreDown Thu 29-Jun-17 19:48:10

Run. Seriously. Run far away from the nasty little man

SweetChickadee Thu 29-Jun-17 19:48:56

He's not a 'great guy', he's an abusive cunt who pretends to be a great guy for just long enough to stop you leaving

this, with bloody great red flag waving bells on


averylongtimeago Thu 29-Jun-17 19:53:17

Sorry but this abusive creep is not a keeper.
Are you married to him and do you have DC together?

Whatislife123 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:58:48

Please leave him. This is not a healthy relationship and it will only get worse. You are worth more.

Mooey89 Thu 29-Jun-17 19:59:06

He sounds exactly like my ex.
He's abusive and it will only get worse

llangennith Thu 29-Jun-17 20:04:09

Controlling, manipulative abuser.
Run from him as fast and as far as you can before it's too late and he completely takes over your life and isolates you from your family and friends.

memyselfandaye Thu 29-Jun-17 20:06:36

He is'nt a great guy and I promise you not one single poster will say that he is, even if you come back and say but he does x,y,z for me, to try and convince everyone that he is anything other than an inadequate twat who tries to destroy you to make himself feel big and important.

He's shown you his true self, don't be a doormat, tell him to fuck off and work on your self esteem.

MarklahMarklah Thu 29-Jun-17 20:11:45

What everyone else said. As long as you 'keep in your place' then he's lovely. The minute you do something without his permission then you get both barrels.


Trickycat Thu 29-Jun-17 20:12:05

'Teach you a lesson'? Walk away for your own peace of mind. Actually, run. He is not worth and he won't change.

pinkyredrose Thu 29-Jun-17 20:13:56

Get rid. He's no good. He treats you like he hates you. You'll never be happy with him.

Bluebelle38 Thu 29-Jun-17 20:20:07

He is vile. Get into counselling to find out why you would allow a man to treat you like this. You can do so much better, you know that right? He's a twisted bully.

Orangetoffee Thu 29-Jun-17 20:22:09

You owe him, he teaches you a lesson, he criticises and mocks you, he is NOT a great guy,

Leave before he grinds you down even more .

PurpleWithRed Thu 29-Jun-17 20:25:10

Read what you've just written. Put a friend's name in it instead of yours. What would you advise her to do?

That's right, run run run. Do it now while your gut feel is still strong enough to be sending you the right messages.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 29-Jun-17 20:26:43

He is not 2 different people. He's just one giant asshole. He's a cruel, abusive, gaslighting bastard and it's high time you took the blinders off and realize what you're putting up with. Leave this horrible man. You deserve far better.

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