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Another friendship question

(6 Posts)
isitjustme2017 Thu 29-Jun-17 17:23:27

Just reading a post about friendship so thought I'd throw mine out there.
I don't have many close friends where I live (but lots of lovely friends back home, not too far away) so I'm very lucky.
I recently separated from my DP after 14 years so this has been traumatic.

My closest friend here has been great, always listening to me and offering me advice. A couple of times she has come round on a Sunday when I have been exceptionally bad.

I told her that I find weekends very difficult at the moment. She promised we would get things booked in - nights out, days away etc (she is also single).

However, she never asks me what my plans are on a weekend. I mentioned last Friday that if she was free to let me know but she said "I'm really busy this weekend, I'm out tonight, then tomorrow night and cinema Sunday". No invite to any of this, no questions about what I was doing.

I don't expect her to drop everything in her life now I'm single but I found her insensitive when she knows I'm having a bad time.

She then said to me yesterday "I just can't wait for the weekend, I just want to sit around doing nothing".

Am I being over-sensitive??

Yoksha Thu 29-Jun-17 17:42:48

She sounds like a walking contradiction. Suggest you create a new circle of friends. See what developes.

niknac1 Thu 29-Jun-17 17:46:05

A long time ago I found myself single and as I didn't have local friends to do things with I joined a few things by myself. Something which I hadn't done before but it was worth it, I met lots of people who enjoyed their activities and didn't mind I came along alone. I would even say I was probably easier to talk to, suggestions would be badminton, tennis, squash , keep fit, running. If you give it a go and don't like it try something else. You could find yourself very busy.I wish you luck, deep breath and go for it no thinking do it.

Orangecake123 Thu 29-Jun-17 18:07:57

You're not being over sensitive. To be honest I moved away from an old best friend for this reason. Whilst she said she would be there if I wanted to meet up for coffee, she wouldn't actually ever meet up with me and cancelled on me three times in a row- once after I had already waited an hour for her. I branched out and found new friends- the girl at cross-fit who I used to talk about make up with. The guy I knew who was struggling with depression. You will make new friends.

What kind of things do you like? Focus on them and try to get out of the house as much as possible. There are also lots of meetup pages online where you could find others with similar interests. A book club? Could you volunteer?

isitjustme2017 Thu 29-Jun-17 18:44:27

Thanks everyone, glad I'm not being over sensitive or too needy! She spent all last weekend with her other single mate but doesn't seem to be there for me. I do wonder if we're such great friends then.
I've already started trying to extend friendships. I'm going to organise a night out for some of the mum's at school. I've also joined. Meetup group so just plucking up the courage to go to an event.
It's hard with 2 kids as I don't get much time to myself but I do need to make an effort!

isitjustme2017 Thu 29-Jun-17 20:10:23

So after telling me she hasn't plans for this weekend, I decided to text her to ask if she fancied coming over to mine this weekend for a few drinks. I suppose its a bit of a test really to see what excuses she would make.
Her reply was 'will see how saturday goes as was planning to potter about this weekend, but sounds good to me'........
I guess that will end up with a text on Saturday to say she is just staying in.
I won't be trying again after this.

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