I can imagine this going sour, but I'm being honest, and guess I'm looking to be told I'm being idiotic.
I've been married for 10 years and have two children. I love my wife, but we're in a rut. She works long hours, so do I, but my job is flexible and allows me to work from home, so I do most of the childcare.
My wife works the majority of weekends (out of the house at 6:30am - not back until 9:30pm) so we barely speak, let alone spend time together or as a family.
We occasionally have conversations about this, but nothing really changes - which is both our fault.
The issue I'm having is that I've suddenly developed very intense feelings for my manager.
I've been in my job for years, and have always liked my managers personality, and enjoyed chatting to her. But that's where it stopped.
Recently I've found myself having almost teenage-esque feelings for her, they're actually overpowering. Nervousness, fast heart rate. I know how this sounds, but I can't deny what I'm feeling. It's in no way sexual, more the maudlin, confusing feelings I had as a teenager, centered on her demeanor and personality.
What makes this situation worse is that I only see her once a week at most - it's not like we have any contact outside of work, and regardless of my desire for these feelings to be reciprocal (due to imagined eye contact and smiles) I'm loath to admit they're probably not. Even if they were, I can't imagine anything happening due to our circumstances and the damage it would cause.
This is making me confused. I haven't felt anything like this for a long, long time. Does this suggest bad things for my marriage? i.e. whilst I love her, it's more like a sisterly love than a romantic infatuation. Is it possible to get that back, with our working hours being so fiercely against it?
Would it be suicidal to bring up this crush with my wife, so we can talk it through? Should I just carry on and hope this fades? It's currently affecting my work. Should I evaluation my marriage, and question what such feelings mean for it's long term viability? Should I accept it's a crush, suck it up, and move on?
I'll perhaps be told to grow up - but life is short and we only get one shot at it. Perhaps these feelings are a wake-up call that I'm not content?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Infatuated with someone else when married
SeriousCallersOnly · 28/06/2017 20:10
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