Advertisement

loader

Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Online dating disaster is this normal? Gutted

(21 Posts)
yummytummy Wed 28-Jun-17 09:25:24

Ok so after a very nasty divorce I decided to try dating and see if anything came of it. Started chatting to a guy about a month ago all going well met up a few times. I really liked him as it seemed he actually wanted a relationship not just sex. I started to let my guard down a bit got excited. Then we chatted last week he said he was off work Monday to meet up I said great. Sunday came didn't hear further. I texted around 9pm are you still up for meeting. Then got oh sorry I have to work. I replied ok but you could have let me know sooner. Since then nothing.

So it looks like I have been blown off. Am so gutted I did really like him. Now do I just leave it and see if he contacts me? Don't want to chase after him if he isn't interested. Is this what happens? Totally put off trying again. Feel such a fool was gushing about him to friends and everything

So should I just assume that's it now? It really hurts

Lovegaultier Wed 28-Jun-17 09:29:00

Sounds like it was an excuse to call it a day. If it wasn't why didn't he just say, sorry about that, then arrange another time.

Yes pretty normal in the early days I'm afraid.

Just leave it now.

hesterton Wed 28-Jun-17 09:32:29

He is flakey and you are better off without him.

onemorecupofcoffeefortheroad Wed 28-Jun-17 09:34:40

Sorry you have been let down so badly by him but I really wouldn't contact him again however tempting it might be.

If he wanted to see you he would have arranged another date and if he'd had to go to work unexpectedly on that Monday he should have told you and not left it for you to contact him to find out what was happening.

Don't be disheartened or give up dating - just put this one down to experience - I'm sure there are some decent blokes on there.

TheNaze73 Wed 28-Jun-17 09:58:17

Sweet shop mentality. Something better as he perceives, has caught his eye.

You're best off out of it

mintich Wed 28-Jun-17 10:00:37

Don't let it put you off online dating! Although I find you meet a better quality of man on paid sites rather than free. I married the man I met through online dating!

HildaOg Wed 28-Jun-17 10:19:26

Leave him be. You're not right for each other. Don't get overinvested in one person, chat and meet with a few people at once so if one doesn't work out you always have a replacement.

LardiBacardi Wed 28-Jun-17 10:36:00

Definitely agree with Hilda - always best to chat to a few rather than put all eggs in one basket!

orangewasp Wed 28-Jun-17 10:42:34

Unfortunately, yes normal for OLD - just leave it and definitely don't take it personally. Also agree with chatting to more than one at a time.

yummytummy Wed 28-Jun-17 11:25:36

Thanks for the replies. I guess it's normal then and it does make sense to chat to a few people. I was just so hopeful as he seemed so nice saying all the right things etc. Am now second guessing myself like did I do anything strange etc but I don't think I did. So have to put it behind me seems like but I am hurting even though he probably isn't worth my upset

LesisMiserable Wed 28-Jun-17 11:42:15

Normal in life and now in OLD. should not be demonised. Its human,natural and healthy to cut stuff off that's not working out. Dont take it personally and maybe take a leaf out of his book, be empowered.

Polarbearflavour Wed 28-Jun-17 11:43:27

Don't chase after him. When I was online dating it happened to me on almost every occasion!

whatsmyname2017 Wed 28-Jun-17 11:55:31

Sorry this has happened OP. Hearing this all the time puts me off trying OLD.
Why do people do this? I understand maybe someone else has caught their eye, but why be all over someone you're clearly not that interested in??

NearlyFree17 Wed 28-Jun-17 12:19:11

Sorry this has happened OP. All I can say is that he was not the nice person you thought he was. But I don't know honestly how we are supposed to deal with this type of behaviour. Never trust anyone again in case they suddenly disappear off the face of the earth? Never get excited about a new person to your friends because they might vanish and make you look a fool?
If its now apparently ok to "ghost" someone after one, two three dates ... then what IS the cut-off when its no longer ok?

earthangel797 Wed 28-Jun-17 12:33:58

I feel your pain yummytummy. So annoying that they come on so strong at the beginning and telling you everything they think you want to hear. I've had many occasions of this in the past and wouldn't dream of saying anything if i didn't genuinely mean it. If guys would be more honest OLD would be a more enjoyable experience. Onwards and upwards flowers

noego Wed 28-Jun-17 12:44:44

Just be yourself and do not have any expectations. They either like you for who you are or they don't. If they don't they don't. Never take anything personally.

TheNaze73 Wed 28-Jun-17 13:03:40

I think the difference between men & women as a generalisation, is when a woman isn't really interested, she'll end it before she pursues what she's really over, whilst a man will quite willingly have a "placeholder" girlfriend to have sex with until he finds who he really wants to be with

SkySmiler Thu 29-Jun-17 21:41:54

Totally agree Naze... I wonder why tho 🤔

AndTakeYourHorseWithYou Thu 29-Jun-17 21:45:34

I don't think you're ready for that scene, you sound really full on about it all. He's just some dude you talked to online and never met, what's to be gutted about?
Don't take it so seriously.

isitjustme2017 Thu 29-Jun-17 21:51:58

She said they met a few times!

LineyWimey Thu 29-Jun-17 22:01:06

met up a few times

In the OP.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now