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He has no idea I want out

(7 Posts)
Busybecca Sat 24-Jun-17 00:11:43

DP is financially abusive, extremely lazy, cannot do anything with the DC, has a history of dishonesty and porn addiction, is a danger to the DC and just generally really irritates the hell out of me. I have been a fool doing absolutely everything and getting into debt and I have had enough. We have nothing to talk about. He follows me around the house. I've never left the house without DC in almost 5 years. He has a DC from a previous relationship that I think he's lied about why he doesn't see them. He's lied about hs earnings. He's secretive with his phone. I could go on but I think you get the idea.

The thing is, he genuinely thinks all is rosy and I'm that I'm really happy to be with him (!) It's beyond the point where talking could solve anything, I actively dislike him. I want to sort out a property and tell him the DC and I are leaving. Is this really unfair of me? I have no support whatsoever and am pregnant so it's not a decision I've taken lightly but I feel ill be trapped here for longer if I wait until after the baby is born.

elephantoverthehill Sat 24-Jun-17 00:18:23

I think instinct kicks in. You know when it is time. Others will be along with more practical advice.

Flyingmoonpig Sat 24-Jun-17 00:44:13

Someone said to me earlier that it's just like a switch that is flicked and you can't go back... that's certainly how it is for me right now. Sometimes you just come to the end and it's not fair to anyone to fake a relationship xx

SandyY2K Sat 24-Jun-17 02:23:29

I don't think it's unfair of you, if he's as bad as you say.

KarmaNoMore Sat 24-Jun-17 02:28:22

it is not unfair of you, some people seem to think that as long as they are happy, sod the rest of the family, everyone is ok.

You don't need to wait for him to accept he is in the wrong, you don't need his permission to leave. Just plan it and leave when you are ready, you have told him already, it is his choice not to listen.

Wallywobbles Sat 24-Jun-17 03:42:22

Bi need to do anything that makes it harder. Prepare well and leave. Inform afterwards.

Wallywobbles Sat 24-Jun-17 03:42:41


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