What to do...

[Willing2acceptAdvice]

Hi all,

Me need some advice from you all. I am 34 years old 35 in October. I've been with my partner for 4 years but I'm not 100% convinced she is the one for me! I love her but I'm not in love with her.

I've been struggling with the idea on what to do for the past year and I'm stuck on this certain point...

Ive always thought that the perfect time to have children was between 28 and 35 and I'm fast approaching 35. I know if I leave her I'll be much older than I wanted to be in relation to having children.

A lot of people tell me that age is just a number. But is it really? I know people who have had children at 35+ and I know I can have children.

I suppose I look at it in the respects that I want to do things when my children are grown up. Like my mum and dad. There is stuff I wanted to do but haven't done it yet. Like places I wanted to visit and places I wanted to go. The old bucket list.

Is there anyone out there that can give me some advice? Anyone out there who is younger and met an older man who was in his late 30's or a lady out there with similar things.

Please don't judge me in a negative light. I'm one of the good guys. I've just got a little lost...

Thanks in advance.

Ps - any questions please ask

[HildaOg]

Men can have babies at any age. If you're not in love with you're partner then let her go so she can meet and have children with someone who is in love with her rather than someone who thinks of using her as a breeding machine.

You still have plenty of time to find the right person. Don't make the mistake of having kids with the wrong one. It won't work out and you'll end up as a part time dad. Do it right rather than rush.

[SparklyMagpie]

Oh ffs! You again!!

How many times do you need to do this thread?!

[SparklyMagpie]

I'll also ask a question:

Why when you have posted this thread a million times an have been given lots of answers, do you feel you STILL need to keep posting the same thing?!

[Isetan]

I refer you to my response on your other thread. Oh and staying in a relationship with someone you don't love doesn't make you one of the 'good guys', it makes you inconsiderate of your partner's needs.

[Willing2acceptAdvice]

To be fair Isetan I actually would rather it work and I was hoping things would get better. I'm not using her in the slightest

[GreenFingersWouldBeHandy]

How old is your partner? As much as claiming to be 'one of the good guys' you need to also bear in mind that she is planning on having children with you. And as mentioned above, women have a limited time in which to do that. You do not have to worry about time.

You say you keep 'hoping things would get better' - are you actually doing anything proactive to make them better?

But god, if I had someone saying 'I love her but am not in love with her' about ME... I would much rather split and be free to find someone who could actually be in love with me, or just be single. You're not being fair to her by keeping her hanging on.

[SparklyMagpie]

Just wondering OP, have yoi messaged the other poster who has recognised you and has given you advice on your other thread aswell?or is it just me you want to shout at?