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Thank you and hope for others

(3 Posts)
adorably2014 Fri 23-Jun-17 09:44:02

I posted around 3 years ago about my abusive marriage knowing things weren't good and that my mental health was going to take a turn for the worse if it went on. I wanted to fix things. I was so shocked at what posters wrote. I knew his behaviour was cruel and selfish but I struggled to think the abuse (or what people were telling me it was) could be done on purpose and for kicks.

I just want to say THANK YOU. During the 6 months after I first posted, his behaviour got really bad and I eventually got help, and he was given orders (and divorce papers). The following 6 months were awful. We've been divorced a while now, the DCs live with me all the time and he has next to no contact with them (his choice, he resides abroad, visits often, but not them). Since the orders expired he's tried to contact me quite regularly, with police involved twice in the past year.

It didn't feel like it at the time but I'm glad I got out before the DCs were any older. I have nothing to do with anyone from my married life apart from a couple of people. It's been OK, I haven't missed it, and I've needed my own company a lot. I'm also so happy I have a job, even if it isn't anything so great. I met someone new a little while ago and it's made me realise even more quite how abusive my ex was. I've just started 'proper' therapy.

So anyway, thank you. Life's much better now. I saw a couple of threads from women being coerced and sexually abused by their husbands/partners recently that made me want to post this. It isn't something easy to talk about (still now), but it's also possible to get out.

calabalamuc Wed 28-Jun-17 13:59:35

adorably I remember your threads. I never commented on them (because I had no experience of what you were going through) but I remember you receiving some fantastic advice from some very wise posters.

The reason I remember your story was that I remember feeling absolutely chilled to the bone by it. I have wondered often how you were doing and it was great to read your update. I am in awe at your strength and courage in getting you and your children out of that situation. What a strong woman and what a role model for your children.

I hope women in similar situations find your post and take heart from it.

Wishing you happier, easier and more peaceful times ahead. Much love. flowers

hellsbellsmelons Wed 28-Jun-17 14:03:27

Well done OP and what an uplifting post.
So glad you've turned your life around.
Keep going!

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