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Relationships

Only go for "x" men.

58 replies

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 07:40

Was chatting to a friend yesterday - she's recently moved to a new area, and I was asking how her love life was going there, whether she'd met any nice guys blah blah blah.
She replied "well no, there's no black guys here". I was a bit speechless at first. As far as I know she's had two relationships with black guys (her most recent relationships), but has had several relationships in her past with white guys too.
We all grew up in a big, diverse city, and most of us (group of girl mates) have had relationships with a variety of different people from different ethnicities, races, creeds etc.
After I had the conversation with her I thought about it, and I think I know 3 other women who exclusively "only date black guys". I've heard them all say it before but thought it was more tongue in cheek, but now I think about it, I've never known them to be with anyone of any other background.
Is it me, or is it strange to limit your choice in men to one particular race?
Of all my other friends, we don't really have "a type". Of my past relationships, they're all very different, and I wouldn't say there was a trend as such - on average they've generally been taller than me, so maybe that's my "type", although I've never actively sought out taller partners.
So I guess my question is - do any of you have a specific "type" (black, Asian, blue eyes, blonde hair, body builders?), and if so have you found someone who fits your type and you've stayed together?
Sideline - I've no real reason for wanting to know other than curiosity and nosey-ness! 😉

OP posts:
FlossyMooToo · 23/06/2017 07:47

Tall, dark hair and manly looking.
My family joke that DP looks alot like exdh and tbh he does Blush

I dont think having a type is unusual at all.

AuntieStella · 23/06/2017 07:48

I think it's pretty normal to have preferred physical characteristics.

Now perhaps you'll be smitten one day by someone quite different from your usual type, but when just browsing, it's OK to look for the things you like best.

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 07:56

I think what surprised me was that she'd resigned herself to the fact she wasn't going to meet anyone "because there's no black guys here". I know she wants to meet someone, get married and have kids and so it just seemed like a strange response. Perhaps I'm overthinking...

OP posts:
maitaimojito · 23/06/2017 07:59

I definitely have a type. Dark hair, good physique, confident but not arrogant or cocky.

RudeDog · 23/06/2017 08:01

I thought it was only going to be X Men - like Wolverine Confused

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:01

Rudedog 😂😂😂

OP posts:
Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:03

maitaimojito - surely that could still be many MANY men from different races, backgrounds, faiths etc. I don't know why I find it so odd, it just seems weird to me to pick a type dependent on race. Maybe it's no different to your example but feels odd to me.

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 23/06/2017 08:03

A lot of people have a type, I don't think this is a big deal.

EBearhug · 23/06/2017 08:06

I definitely have a type, if you lined my exes up in a row. But I always thought I was attracted to someone for his kindness, his sense of humour, the way he made me rethink ideas... I don't consciously go for the same type physically. Perhaps your friend is just more honest with herself than I was for many years.

Ecclesiastes · 23/06/2017 08:06

Does 'not sexist arseholes' count?

ProseccoandPizza · 23/06/2017 08:08

I don't think it's a big deal as such either. Lots of people have a particular type. When I was single post DS I may have filtered out anyone under 6 foot on dating sites, as time went on I was deliberately searching for over 6'4. I'm now engaged to DP who is 6'10.

JeffyJeffington · 23/06/2017 08:09

But surely you know lots of white people that have only ever dated other white people? Why do you think this is so unusual?

BoobleMcB · 23/06/2017 08:09

I agree OP, i think its a bit odd to limit it to such an extent. Preferred physical characteristics are one thing but this is past that.

Like saying you like a man with a beard or 'manly looking (whatever that is), taller, shorter, long hair, bald whatever can be in anyone black or white

ChopinLisztFinder · 23/06/2017 08:10

The most chronically single woman I know states that she will only date a man who is tall, dark, handsome and is rich. She hasn't been on a date in a looooong time.

If anyone's type is short, ginger, funny and Scottish, I have just the chap for you. My friend is passed by for dates far too much for such a lovely man.

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:10

prosecco - wow 6'10!! How tall are you?
Okay well thanks ladies, allow me to swallow my own words 😉 maybe I'm just way less fussy than most (don't know whether that's a good or bad thing 🙈)!

OP posts:
Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:12

Jeffy - no I don't think I do know anyone who's only dated white guys either. And if someone said "no, I'm dating noone cos there's no white guys here" I'd find that odd too!

OP posts:
cakecakecheese · 23/06/2017 08:13

I really don't have a type, I do agree that you could be missing out on someone great because they don't tick one of your usual boxes but a lot of people do and it's up to them really.

I bumped into my ex with his new gf who looked ridiculously like me and that was a bit weird though!

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:14

chopin - yes, the other three I know who "only date black guys" are also chronically single but moan how much they want to meet someone. Why not just try something new?

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TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 23/06/2017 08:15

Yeah, I came on to say Wolverine or Fassbender's Magneto really. Ian McKellen def not my type.

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:15

cake - oh God that must have been weird!!
On another note - if I met a guy and he said he liked me because "I'm totally his type", I think I'd be abit offended. I'd think so you're only with me cos I'm 5"5, brown hair, brown eyes, etc, rather than because we have a connection or I stand out or caught your eye for other reasons. Again, possibly I'm overthinking things.

OP posts:
PinkSquash · 23/06/2017 08:21

I have a type. Over 6'2, dark greying hair, slight tan, with a large nose Blush I just find it incredibly attractive but I have dated other men who were different to my 'type' but it's just my usual preference.

Namechange2837 · 23/06/2017 08:24

with a large nose - 👃 😉 hehehe

OP posts:

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LaContessaDiPlump · 23/06/2017 08:28

As others have said, I definitely have a type if you line them all up!!

And since we're on the subject, I'd prefer James McAvoy please (with an option on Patrick Stewart too).

BossyBitch · 23/06/2017 08:34

I definitely have a type but have only ever dated someone who actually matched it once. And I've definitely also met plenty of men who fit the criteria but, on an individual level, weren't attractive to me.

ChrisPrattsFace · 23/06/2017 08:35

ponksquash I also like a big nose!
I like tall, fair hair and blue eyes. A large/statement nose. But mostly I like to be treated right, exes were awful to me!
A lot of the people I comment on when on tv my DP always says 'I bet you like him for that nose' BlushGrin

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