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ExP having a dangerous mental breakdown

(11 Posts)
NC2468 Thu 22-Jun-17 08:21:34

ExP has bipolar disorder. Since Christmas, he has been going through a manic stage - suffering with severe delusions and paranoia, fighting, drug taking and agitation.

He did go through this whilst I was pregnant a few years ago, was severely manic and took lots of drugs. I broke up with him, he got depressed, I managed to get him to the doctors and on meds for the first time ever and he got better. He really believes in the power his bipolar meds have, but I think either they don't work as well for mania as depression - or the cocaine stops it from working. Or both.

This time it has manifested itself as severe paranoia about me. He believes I slept with pretty much all of his friends when we were together, and has been extremely abusive pretty much every day (verbally) for the entire year, which has led me to suffer pretty badly with anxiety/ depression. Needless to say I never cheated on him or wanted to.

He has supervised contact, advised by social services but as I was already doing the right stuff, they signed her off and said I was able to make correct decisions and didn't need their input. The lady supervising the contact was a family friend, exP lived with her as a lodger alongside her sons (his oldest friends) and some teenage (over 18) students and I trusted her to supervise correctly. Contact has been minimal, short and sporadic.

She turned up at my house last night crying her eyes out, saying exP has beaten up her son because he thinks he's slept with me, and also suspects her other son - so was scared he was going to come to her house and beat him up too. With two young students in the house.

I've heard that if he feels like somebody looks at him the wrong way, he gets convinced that they're sleeping with me, even if they have no idea who I am. I've tried to speak to him countless times, but he won't listen to me or anyone.

I was up half the night worrying about these people. I can't believe he's turned on this woman and her sons, who are like his family. I have several years professional experience with mentally unwell people, and I truly believe he needs to be sectioned. I think that's the only thing that will get him clean and engaging with psychiatrists and MH professionals.

But is this the right thing to do? If the rapid response line goes to assess him and he's acting quite normal, he will know it's me and that will cause all sorts of trouble. I am truthfully doing it because I'm worried about what he could do to others, and himself. But he won't see it like that. It will cause a shitstorm. Shall I stay out of it? Or call them?

I don't think I'm at risk physically. Apart from the odd abusive message, he seems resigned to the fact I've done this and it's other people he's going after. I think he's suicidal too. He's made suicide attempts in the past.

Gingernaut Thu 22-Jun-17 08:24:00

He's beaten someone up?

Are the police involved?

If not, why not?

Blossomandsixx Thu 22-Jun-17 08:25:48

He definitely needs to be seen by mental health professionals ASAP.

I'm a mental health social worker, plus I assess people under the mental health act, and it sounds like he needs urgent help.

I would definitely contact them, and give them as much information as you can flowers

pudding21 Thu 22-Jun-17 08:26:50

God yes, get mental health services involved. He needs help. Probably be sectioned. It's the only way. Good luck, does he have a CPN?

NC2468 Thu 22-Jun-17 08:28:28

The boy doesn't want to get the police involved. Thank you, that's what I thought. I guess I'm just scared of the fallout but I know that's what needs to be done for everyone's sake.

NC2468 Thu 22-Jun-17 08:29:36

When he went to the doctors he was assessed by a psychiatrist and diagnosed, and put on these meds. No other professionals were assigned to him as far as I know.

gamerchick Thu 22-Jun-17 08:34:14

You know what you need to do. If he killed someone by accident you'll wish you had done it sooner.

Gingernaut Thu 22-Jun-17 08:43:24

If no one reports him for criminal behaviour, then I can't see a way of getting help.

Only he can go to the doctor and he has no next of kin to approach the doctor.

NC2468 Thu 22-Jun-17 09:03:29

Just rang them and they said he would need to ring them himself. I said he wouldn't do this as he doesn't believe he's ill. So basically we have to wait until he really hurts someone or himself. confused

I think I might ring SS and see if they'll give him a call and convince him. I just spoke to his best friend and he agrees something needs to be done. Not sure what else to do.

rumred Thu 22-Jun-17 09:07:39

I realise it's difficult but Ring the police. He's dangerous. Don't wait until he seriously harms someone. That is unreasonable and unfair on the victim. Imagine if it was your child or family member someone attacked. It will be someone's child/family member

gamerchick Thu 22-Jun-17 09:27:08

yeah you need to ring the police first. No point in ringing mental health, they won't help you until forced too.

Really the assaulted people need to ring the police and get him arrested. Is there any chance of that?

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