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Work colleague AIBU.

(5 Posts)
RedComet Wed 21-Jun-17 09:04:31

Middle aged man at work told us at the beginning of the year that his DW was leaving him. They had only been married for a few years and totally unexpected. His DW has a good job and bought him out of the house. No DCs between them.

Although I fully accept that this is sad the man has gone off the rails. He dates different woman from an online dating site most days of the week, dabbles in illegal drugs and gives us sob stories about poor little him most days. Last week he even asked one of my colleagues to send him an email telling him to attend an urgent meeting at 7pm on a Monday night so he could use it to cancel a date??!!
My issue here is that we have to carry him at work. He is totally unreliable, makes rather serious mistakes which we have to sort out and cover for him and if there are any corners to be cut.. he is your man!

I'm getting to the point where my sympathy has totally run out. I have my own workload which is more than enough without constantly having to look over my shoulder to make sure he does what he is supposed do and dig him out of holes. I know he has been called in on several occasions and spoken to by our MD. So far to no avail. Perhaps it's the heat or maybe I'm just being unreasonable but I had enough. How do I communicate this at work without sounding totally heartless. I don't like confrontation but I so had enough. AIBU?

Thanks.

DanielCraigsUnderpants Wed 21-Jun-17 10:02:33

Tell him how you feel, give him the chance to change. If he doesnt make a complaint to the MD. Whatever happens I wouldnt be carrying him work wise.

Broccolirevolution Wed 21-Jun-17 11:54:32

When I found out my DH was not what I thought, I went way off the rails. I didn't even realise how bad it was (but I knew it was pretty bad). It was only time that got me functioning well again.
Is your management dep/ human resources decent enough to help him through it or will he be fired?
It's not your responsibility at all and you've been good to help out so far.

RedComet Wed 21-Jun-17 12:10:43

More likely to get struck by lightening than get help from HR tbh. I appreciate everyone goes through hard times and I'm normally supportive but this has been going on for months now with no end in sight. I'm getting to the stage where I want to approach HR myself .

redexpat Wed 21-Jun-17 12:31:21

Are you his line manager? If yes then you should probably start performance managing. If not then channel malcolm tucker from the thick of it and shout NOMFUP at your self in the mirror every morning. It means not my fucking problem. Bosses never take any action as long as someone is carrying the burden and the work is getting done. Make it their problem.

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