Background:
I'm 26, have only had two previous relationships.
Relationship 1: From age 18-23, we bought a house, had a dog - super serious. He was a lovely guy but we weren't a good match. Broke up amicably.
18 months single.
Relationship 2: Moved too fast with seemingly perfect guy. To cut a long story short, he turned out to be very mentally disturbed and left me the moment I got made redundant and could no longer support him. (He lived off me for 8 months). He stole all my money, and bizarrely my laptop, leaving me in a lot of debt. This was in February.
Now I'm with current OH. We met just a few weeks after R2 ruined my life. I like him a lot but struggle to remain... "stable" in my feelings - ie. sometimes I could take it or leave it, sometimes he's my world. I try to be consistent with him however.
Absolutely bizarrely, I still haven't told the majority of my friends I'm seeing someone (it's been 3 months) though he has met my Mum.
Because of R2, I think I'm particularly sensitive. I have Social Anxiety Disorder (which I'm taking tablets for) and definitely could win awards for worrying and overthinking.
This weekend, OH and I had vague plans to meet today. He ended up staying out with friends much longer than he intended last night, meaning he was very tired today. We text a little bit with him asking me what I'm doing and saying he was watching a movie - no mention of meeting up.
I end up messaging him "Just to clarify, I take it you don't want to see me this weekend? X".
He replies that he thought we were meeting tomorrow (which had been discussed, tbf) and that he didn't really want to do anything today.
Genuinely fine, but I wish this had been clarified without me having to ask.
This has happened a few times.
I don't remember ever being clingy before, but right now I worry if he doesn't message me. Feel rejected when we don't meet up, over-analyse what he says (or doesn't say!) and sometimes withdraw when I feel like I'm not getting enough attention. (Which sounds awful when I type it out )
I mention this occasionally to him, in a bid to be honest, but try not to dwell on it.
He has said multiple times that he loves me, that he thinks he likes me more than I like him, that he wants to move in with me when we're ready and he is keen to make long term plans (going to a family wedding in the Autumn, booking a holiday in Winter etc).
I'm being bonkers, aren't I?
I really don't want to be the lunatic girlfriend that needs constant reassurance but similarly I'm so worried that he's just going to suddenly stop liking me and disappear with all my money and the photos of my grandmother on my laptop that I sometimes find myself trying to stop liking him.
Any advice appreciated
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Relationships
Am I being high maintenance?
20 replies
PenguinBollard · 18/06/2017 20:47
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