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Relationships

My other half

28 replies

user1497621229 · 16/06/2017 15:03

Can someone please tell me if I am going crazy!! My fiancé always jokes about how he hates me in my glasses, which is a bit annoying because he makes me feel bad for wearing them sometimes but it's not too bad. Last night he stops me touching him intimately because I have them on in bed and says that if I want to continue then I should take them off. He says that I am sooo attractive with them off and he just cannot be attracted to me sexually or otherwise when I have them on. I got upset because I would never feel this way about him, I get turned on by him because it is him and he is calling me a drama queen and that I would prefer to be lied to. He isn't backing down on this and I cannot seem to make him see that he is being rude and hurtful. Saying he loves me despite the fact I wear them doesn't help. Am I overreacting by getting upset? Is he normal? Am I? Am I crazy like he says? Help and advice much appreciated...xx

OP posts:
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TeaStory · 18/06/2017 20:09

I'm sorry you've not had any replies yet.

No, you're not crazy. I'm baffled by his insistence that he cannot find you sexually attractive when wearing your glasses, then tries to turn it on you. That black and white "either I say something nasty or I lie to you, those are the only choices" is a red flag to me too, before we even get on to the name calling. I wouldn't marry a man who treated me like that.

Is he like this about anything else? Is he worth putting up with this crap?? You've tried to talk to him about it and he's refused to listen - are you happy to live with him, as he is now (or worse), for the rest of your life?

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Queenofthedrivensnow · 18/06/2017 20:15

You are not over reacting he's a knob.

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happypoobum · 18/06/2017 20:34

He sounds like a fucking idiot. Do you really want to marry such a wankbadger?

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notapizzaeater · 18/06/2017 20:34

He's a prize dick, what happens if you put a stone on ? Or become ill, or can only use glAsses ?

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BengalGal · 18/06/2017 20:39

He's being super jerky and downright mean. Are you sure you want to marry someone who can say stuff like that? Is there anything else he criticizes you for? Be very careful because if this is happening now it's likely to get much worse when you are married.

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Viserion · 18/06/2017 20:39

As a lifelong glass wearer who can no longer wear contact lenses, I am speechless on your behalf. How fucking superficial that he finds you wearing glasses so unattractive that he won't let you touch him. He sounds like a complete fuckwit. Ditch the bastard and find someone who finds YOU attractive, not just your appearance.

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TroysMammy · 18/06/2017 20:40

I'd tell him "you are soooo attractive when I take my glasses off too".

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Queenofthedrivensnow · 18/06/2017 21:47

Troysmammy has it!!

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mistermagpie · 18/06/2017 21:47

What a dick. What if his eyesight goes as he gets older and he has to wear glasses?!

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tallwivglasses · 18/06/2017 21:56

As glasses are in my nickname I felt I had to post. He's a wanker. Your glasses are part of your identity. If he doesn't find you attractive when you're wearing glasses I presume he doesn't find you attractive most of the time. I repeat - wander. Dump.

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tallwivglasses · 18/06/2017 21:57

WANKER!

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isitjustme2017 · 18/06/2017 22:21

How long have you been together? Have you worn glasses since you met? I find this very bizarre and would be concerned this is the beginning of some very controlling behaviour. Beware OP.

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sexcauldron · 18/06/2017 22:32

What a cunt

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SandyY2K · 18/06/2017 22:46

Very odd behaviour. As you wear glasses pretty much all the time, then he's saying he's not sexually attracted to you most times.

I wear glasses and contacts. I choose to take my glasses off during intimate moments, because they get in the way, but DH would never ask me to take them off.

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PookieDo · 18/06/2017 23:50

I do tend to take mine off in bed and all intimate moments as they get in the way. Or steamed up or fall off

But he is a knob

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babycow38 · 19/06/2017 01:23

For the first time I can post something positive about DP, he finds me sexy in my specs! Seriously though OP he is a massive twat to stop you in foreplay because you are wearing glasses, most men would be just thrilled they are having sex with the woman they love, he sounds a complete knob and a turn off for me to be honest

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cakecakecheese · 19/06/2017 08:28

Well obviously he's being very rude, then he has the cheek to call you crazy?! Nope not on at all.

I'd be tempted to say you'll ditch the specs if he loses ten pounds/wears a Tom Hardy mask etc

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dudsville · 19/06/2017 08:30

Does he think you're like superman. Nerd one minute, hottie the next?

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Ginormoustrawberry · 19/06/2017 08:30

I'd tell him "you are soooo attractive when I take my glasses off too"

This ^

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Isetan · 19/06/2017 16:02

Troysmammy 😂

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Adora10 · 19/06/2017 16:48

Do you really want to be with someone this shallow, oh and rude, very rude.

I think I'd have told him to FO.

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category12 · 19/06/2017 17:02

It's not much of a joke, is it? Ha-de-fucking-ha. It's hurtful and shallow as hell. And bringing it up during sex is particularly unkind.

What's the rest of your relationship like? Does he put you down or make you feel incompetent or needy in other ways?

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DijonVu · 19/06/2017 17:11

I wear glasses and contacts depending on the occasion. At home I'm always wearing glasses. I just asked DH if he prefers me either way and he said he's never thought about it, he doesn't think glasses or lack of glasses even registers with him! He loves me for being ME, my eye wear doesnt even come into the equation!

Do you really want to spend your life worrying if your partner finds you attractive?

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Isetan · 19/06/2017 18:38

'Yes dear, I'll refrain from wearing glasses only if you provide a magnifying glass, truth be told, even with glasses I'm finding it difficult to locate the tiny bugger'.

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Dadaist · 19/06/2017 20:36

Complete arse!!

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