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My other half

(29 Posts)
user1497621229 Fri 16-Jun-17 15:03:46

Can someone please tell me if I am going crazy!! My fiancé always jokes about how he hates me in my glasses, which is a bit annoying because he makes me feel bad for wearing them sometimes but it's not too bad. Last night he stops me touching him intimately because I have them on in bed and says that if I want to continue then I should take them off. He says that I am sooo attractive with them off and he just cannot be attracted to me sexually or otherwise when I have them on. I got upset because I would never feel this way about him, I get turned on by him because it is him and he is calling me a drama queen and that I would prefer to be lied to. He isn't backing down on this and I cannot seem to make him see that he is being rude and hurtful. Saying he loves me despite the fact I wear them doesn't help. Am I overreacting by getting upset? Is he normal? Am I? Am I crazy like he says? Help and advice much appreciated...xx

TeaStory Sun 18-Jun-17 20:09:48

I'm sorry you've not had any replies yet.

No, you're not crazy. I'm baffled by his insistence that he cannot find you sexually attractive when wearing your glasses, then tries to turn it on you. That black and white "either I say something nasty or I lie to you, those are the only choices" is a red flag to me too, before we even get on to the name calling. I wouldn't marry a man who treated me like that.

Is he like this about anything else? Is he worth putting up with this crap?? You've tried to talk to him about it and he's refused to listen - are you happy to live with him, as he is now (or worse), for the rest of your life?

Queenofthedrivensnow Sun 18-Jun-17 20:15:08

You are not over reacting he's a knob.

happypoobum Sun 18-Jun-17 20:34:24

He sounds like a fucking idiot. Do you really want to marry such a wankbadger?

notapizzaeater Sun 18-Jun-17 20:34:27

He's a prize dick, what happens if you put a stone on ? Or become ill, or can only use glAsses ?

BengalGal Sun 18-Jun-17 20:39:10

He's being super jerky and downright mean. Are you sure you want to marry someone who can say stuff like that? Is there anything else he criticizes you for? Be very careful because if this is happening now it's likely to get much worse when you are married.

Viserion Sun 18-Jun-17 20:39:31

As a lifelong glass wearer who can no longer wear contact lenses, I am speechless on your behalf. How fucking superficial that he finds you wearing glasses so unattractive that he won't let you touch him. He sounds like a complete fuckwit. Ditch the bastard and find someone who finds YOU attractive, not just your appearance.

TroysMammy Sun 18-Jun-17 20:40:53

I'd tell him "you are soooo attractive when I take my glasses off too".

Queenofthedrivensnow Sun 18-Jun-17 21:47:09

Troysmammy has it!!

mistermagpie Sun 18-Jun-17 21:47:45

What a dick. What if his eyesight goes as he gets older and he has to wear glasses?!

tallwivglasses Sun 18-Jun-17 21:56:30

As glasses are in my nickname I felt I had to post. He's a wanker. Your glasses are part of your identity. If he doesn't find you attractive when you're wearing glasses I presume he doesn't find you attractive most of the time. I repeat - wander. Dump.

tallwivglasses Sun 18-Jun-17 21:57:18


isitjustme2017 Sun 18-Jun-17 22:21:31

How long have you been together? Have you worn glasses since you met? I find this very bizarre and would be concerned this is the beginning of some very controlling behaviour. Beware OP.

sexcauldron Sun 18-Jun-17 22:32:03

What a cunt

SandyY2K Sun 18-Jun-17 22:46:21

Very odd behaviour. As you wear glasses pretty much all the time, then he's saying he's not sexually attracted to you most times.

I wear glasses and contacts. I choose to take my glasses off during intimate moments, because they get in the way, but DH would never ask me to take them off.

PookieDo Sun 18-Jun-17 23:50:21

I do tend to take mine off in bed and all intimate moments as they get in the way. Or steamed up or fall off

But he is a knob

babycow38 Mon 19-Jun-17 01:23:39

For the first time I can post something positive about DP, he finds me sexy in my specs! Seriously though OP he is a massive twat to stop you in foreplay because you are wearing glasses, most men would be just thrilled they are having sex with the woman they love, he sounds a complete knob and a turn off for me to be honest

cakecakecheese Mon 19-Jun-17 08:28:22

Well obviously he's being very rude, then he has the cheek to call you crazy?! Nope not on at all.

I'd be tempted to say you'll ditch the specs if he loses ten pounds/wears a Tom Hardy mask etc

dudsville Mon 19-Jun-17 08:30:24

Does he think you're like superman. Nerd one minute, hottie the next?

Ginormoustrawberry Mon 19-Jun-17 08:30:54

I'd tell him "you are soooo attractive when I take my glasses off too"

This ^

Isetan Mon 19-Jun-17 16:02:50

Troysmammy 😂

Adora10 Mon 19-Jun-17 16:48:06

Do you really want to be with someone this shallow, oh and rude, very rude.

I think I'd have told him to FO.

category12 Mon 19-Jun-17 17:02:13

It's not much of a joke, is it? Ha-de-fucking-ha. It's hurtful and shallow as hell. And bringing it up during sex is particularly unkind.

What's the rest of your relationship like? Does he put you down or make you feel incompetent or needy in other ways?

DijonVu Mon 19-Jun-17 17:11:08

I wear glasses and contacts depending on the occasion. At home I'm always wearing glasses. I just asked DH if he prefers me either way and he said he's never thought about it, he doesn't think glasses or lack of glasses even registers with him! He loves me for being ME, my eye wear doesnt even come into the equation!

Do you really want to spend your life worrying if your partner finds you attractive?

Isetan Mon 19-Jun-17 18:38:04

'Yes dear, I'll refrain from wearing glasses only if you provide a magnifying glass, truth be told, even with glasses I'm finding it difficult to locate the tiny bugger'.

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