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Guy casually dating reappearing out of the blue

(40 Posts)
Needmorehours Thu 15-Jun-17 19:49:52

I met a man on a night out and we went on 3 dates and spoke regularly. As he is a very high earner I felt quite intimidated by him and didn't really get why he would want to talk to a public sector worker who is also a single Mum.

We were only dating very casually and he decided that we would be better as friends rather than anything else (after we slept together). I accepted this and moved on. He has contacted me a few times and I messaged back but did not pursue the conversation. His number is deleted and I am sure he is aware that it was not a friendship I was seeking so therefore move along.

So today I get a picture of his work schedule asking if anything looked strange in it. I looked and saw that he is going to an event 5 minutes from my home. So I said well that stands out. He replied he didn't know what it would be like. So I told him what I thought the event/activity would be and left it at that.

But seriously why bother to send me that. He isn't interested in me so why bother to contact me to tell me he will be around the corner. Why do some men do this? I feel as if he is looking for an ego boost or for me to say let's meet up.

This is totally a non issue but bugging me.

gingeristhenewblack43 Thu 15-Jun-17 19:52:05

He's looking for a booty call hmm

JK1773 Thu 15-Jun-17 19:57:37

Yeah he's definitely after his leg over. Ignore him

Bant Thu 15-Jun-17 20:01:20

I'd flirtily arrange to meet up for a shag, at somewhere slightly inconvenient for him, then half an hour after you don't show, message him and say you'd be better as friends. And then block him

Angleshades Thu 15-Jun-17 20:01:21

He's definitely after a shag but doesn't want to look so obvious. He's letting you know where he'll be and on what night so that hopefully you'll ask him if he's up for popping round after. That way he has all the power as he can then say yay or nay to you. It's a total ego boost for him. Nothing more. Ignore him.

Needmorehours Thu 15-Jun-17 20:06:26

Argh how annoying. When he broke things off I acted with grace and just said OK. He said he was worried I would be angry and we could talk about it more which I declined. Then he sent a picture of his face with a bloody inspirational caption underneath. The sex wasn't so amazing I would be going back for a second round tbh I was drunk so don't really remember it. But I totally own my actions I'm not embarrassed I just don't have time for someone who doesn't want to be with me. It's not a bad thing it's life but seriously move along. Oh and when he broke it off he said he still wants to talk to me and would like to meet my son. Which is totally not happening.

Angleshades Thu 15-Jun-17 20:08:38

He sounds like a dick. He wants to keep his options open but not have a relationship with you hence the mixed signals. He'll get bored eventually if you ignore his calls and texts.

Needmorehours Thu 15-Jun-17 20:08:41

The problem is he knew I really liked him and hadn't really dated since breaking up with my sons Dad. So why message to tell me you're around the corner.

Needmorehours Thu 15-Jun-17 20:09:48

Yes it was two months of mixed signals. What a waste of time.

Angleshades Thu 15-Jun-17 20:12:42

Op I've been through exactly the same thing. Luckily mine was a while ago now and I can see it for what it was. It really is annoying at the time though, a total headfuck. Dust yourself off and try your best to forget him. If you engage with him it will only prolong the misery.

What was the inspirational caption? grin

Needmorehours Thu 15-Jun-17 20:21:24

The inspirational quote was something about ease being a threat to progress or something like that. It was over a picture of his face.

SleightOfHand Thu 15-Jun-17 20:22:58


Loopytiles Thu 15-Jun-17 20:24:25


SweetLuck Thu 15-Jun-17 20:40:29

What does that even mean, what a twat!

TheNaze73 Thu 15-Jun-17 21:04:18

It's a booty call. He's letting you know he's available for an evening

AndBandPlayedScotlandTheBrave Thu 15-Jun-17 21:05:49

Ease is a greater threat to progress than hardship.

Does this mean that your disinterest is a hardship but he isn't giving up on <<cough>> progress, especially after you dtd and even though he walked? Or is it some of that newfangled negging? Quite the mind game, n'est pa?

He is baiting you. Leave it for the stinky bait that it is.

MisterDog Thu 15-Jun-17 21:16:22

He's just in the area and wants sex. Nothing more I should imagine, he sounds like a user and since you said the sex was mediocre it is probably not even worth revisiting it for that.

Angleshades Thu 15-Jun-17 21:20:33

Wow that doesn't sound like a nice thing to say at all. Sounds to me like he was dissing you for sleeping with him, almost like he ended it because you were too easy. That's how I'd read it anyway. Definitely block and ignore. Sounds like the guy I dated. He behaved exactly the same way after we finished. I ignored everything and thank god I'm now free of the weasel.

Zoflorabore Thu 15-Jun-17 21:25:33

When is the event op? Is he giving you some notice to make plans with him do you think? I.e. That he visits you as he's "in the area" and wants to make sure you will be home.
Do you think he has had a change of heart?

RedTitsMcGinty Fri 16-Jun-17 00:03:17

He sent you a motivational picture of his face???? grin Oh, sweet lord! You have had a lucky escape!

Bant Fri 16-Jun-17 05:18:15

Sorry, I can't stop picturing this

troodiedoo Fri 16-Jun-17 05:21:41

Haha he sounds funny. Silly man!

Aquamarine1029 Fri 16-Jun-17 05:36:42

He's only hoping you're ignorant or desperate enough to have sex with him. Block this creep.

ijustwantfiveminutespeace Fri 16-Jun-17 06:01:46

Do you think he is maybe married and is taking the opportunity to see you when he has a business excuse to be away?

WarmestRegards Fri 16-Jun-17 06:10:49

Oh dear. He sounds like a user with an extremely high opinion of himself. The inspirational quote thing is so weird, both funny but also insulting. I'd be tempted to send him a picture of my diary with 'washing my hair' inserted on that date. However, in reality I think your reaction, which was essentially a shoulder shrug was perfect. He obviously thinks he is very important! He can fuck right off!

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