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Boyfriend's mum

(84 Posts)
user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 11:35:57


I'm looking for some advice about what other people would do or what you think I should do.

Basically, I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 21 and we are living with his mum until we can get a flat. I'm on an apprenticeship and my boyfriend has just recently started working again so we need to keep saving for a few more months until we can afford anyway. I don't particularly like his mum as she used to do things that I thought were completely wrong when she has a one year old daughter which I wont get into as on this site, people kept telling me I was in the wrong because I had reported her to the police for what she was doing. Our reasons for wanting to move are we just want to be able to start our own life together and have our own independence as we are both getting older and need to be able to stand on our own two feet but we'd still come and see her when we had time when we weren't at work. We sat down last and explained this to her and she responded by saying 'what because I'm so bad to live with? You're making me out to sound like some sort of monster. You won't be able to afford it anyway so you might aswell just stay here and if you cant be bothered to come round for a few hours each night then don't bother at all but you wont be seeing your sister' I think that was totally uncalled for just because she doesn't want to be on her own, she has prevented my boyfriend from trying to get work just so she doesn't have to spend the day on her own but unfortunately that's something she's just going to have to get used to. I work 9-5 all week, sometimes doing extra hours and even though I'm knackered when I get in and just want to go to bed, me and my boyfriend still go and sit with her for a few hours until she puts baby to bed. I think the fact that she told my boyfriend he wouldn't be able to see his sister is absolutely disgusting just because we want to move out and start our own life. It doesn't really bother me as I have no connection with his sister but the fact that she said that to him is horrible. She also keeps saying that because she's been a council tenant for over 20 years me and him are entitled to keep the 3 bedroom house on when she moves away back to her family in a few months - Can someone please tell me if this is true because there are families who are waiting to be housed and we're just 2 single people?? Or is it just her way of trying to keep us there as long as possible?

I would appreciate it if I didn't get the verbal abuse I got last time I posted as my circumstances have changed now that my boyfriend is working

tccat Thu 15-Jun-17 11:50:51

You could go to your local Citizens Advice for more info on what would happen to the tenancy if she moved out, they could probably do a benefit check to see what you'd be entitled to if you moved out into another property
Perhaps it would be better in the short term to tolerate her until you've enough saved up to be independent, only you know if this is possible
You're both very young , I have kids your age, I wish you all the luck in the world, stick to your plans and don't let her put a spanner in the works x

MaidenMotherCrone Thu 15-Jun-17 11:51:53

Not again.

I'm sorry love but the drug dealing Mother of boyfriend has got it wrong. You are not entitled to stay.

Constantly starting threads about every aspect of your/the boyfriend/his mother's lives just shows you are not as grown up as you think you are.

Glad he's working now though.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 15-Jun-17 11:54:58

Call her bluff. Move out. Start your own lives. She won't want to be solely responsible for his sister. She will be offering her to you very sharpish I would expect. And then when you move out you need to report her to the police for dealing drugs. (remembers last post)

YerAWizardHarry Thu 15-Jun-17 11:58:21

Is your boyfriend already a joint tenant?

user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 11:59:12

No, it's only her on the tenancy

tccat Thu 15-Jun-17 12:00:15

Oh for goodness sake , of course she's not grown up, she's eighteen ! While she's legally am adult it's very young to have all this to deal with
I haven't read your previous posts so don't know your history, where are your parents in all this? are they able to help and support you?

TheHodgeoftheHedge Thu 15-Jun-17 12:00:49

sigh you again.
I don't see how you would be allowed to keep it, but contact citizens advice for a definitive answer.
And as he's working now, get your own place. Then you won't keep posting for help about her and his sister.

user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:01:58

Yes my parents are a lot more supportive and they've offered to help us with getting a flat and decorating it, even though they don't really like my boyfriend they try their best for me

disneykid Thu 15-Jun-17 12:04:31

Good god not this again.


HarrietKettleWasHere Thu 15-Jun-17 12:07:16


user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:08:17

I'm sure I originally said don't bother replying if you've got nothing helpful to say..

disneykid Thu 15-Jun-17 12:09:35

And I'm pretty sure we all told you last time you wouldn't be entitled to the mums house.

user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:11:57

Well then you don't need to comment again then do you smile

disneykid Thu 15-Jun-17 12:12:52

No you're right, I just don't understand why you didn't listen the first time.

user1497522710 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:13:25

I have emailed CAB and the council, I'm just waiting for them to get back to me

NewPurrs5 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:16:53

hmm not you again. Snore!

thegoodnameshadgone Thu 15-Jun-17 12:17:13

Why don't you go to the council yourself and ask to be added to the list for housing. Then you can see what's available and how much it will cost and also what you may or not be entitled to claim. You will definitely be able to be added to the list.

The rent cost is generally more affordable than private rental. Google council housing in your area, make an appointment and go from there.

thegoodnameshadgone Thu 15-Jun-17 12:18:13

You will have to go into the offices to register and take your id in anyway

Reow Thu 15-Jun-17 12:18:32

I'm sure I've seen this thread about 5 times before.

TheHodgeoftheHedge Thu 15-Jun-17 12:18:53

So there you go. Wait for your answer. Sorted.

Although I am surprised to hear your parents are supportive as I thought from you previous threads there were a lot of problems there, hence why you were living with your boyfriends drug dealing mother despite how much you hated it.

BitchQueen90 Thu 15-Jun-17 12:20:26

Are you the one whose boyfriend is super controlling? hmm

KindleBueno Thu 15-Jun-17 12:21:05

I wouldn't be putting a roof over someone's head if they reported me to the cops. Count yourself luck she hasn't put you out on your ear

disneykid Thu 15-Jun-17 12:21:46

@BitchQueen90 yes. And his mum is a druggie. She reported the mum to the police. Her parents aren't very nice. And she hates her boyfriends baby sister.

tccat Thu 15-Jun-17 12:25:13

The nastiness here to a young woman looking for support is awful!! To comment "snore" is just dreadful
Op if your parents have offered to help why are you taking them up on their offer ? surely that wound be the best solution

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