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Am I being crazy?

(15 Posts)
punkpuffin Wed 14-Jun-17 19:05:06

A few years ago after i had my first son I had PND and my relationship with H was rocky. I then found out that I had been messaging and old work mate (female) saying he wished he had never married me etc. Our relationship nearly ended but we worked through it. There have been a couple I other rocky moments (H is crap with money and i suffered from PND after our 2nd child). We are now expecting out 3rd (unplanned) baby and I have suffered from an aweful back injury pretty much leaving me housebound until baby is born and I can have an op to fix it. H has worked really hard running out house, taking care of our dc and still working 48 hours a week. Obviously it's been stressful for all of us and he has mentioned several times he misses sex. Today I borrowed his phone amd he has emails from an adult website "naughty seniors" it's basically an over 30s dating/hook up site. I've always known H likes older women. Hes only dated 2 ppl younger than him (me being 1 of them) all his other relationships were with older women, mostly 5-10 years older than him. He saw id seen and said it's just spam. I Googled the site and its main page is a registration page. I didn't dig much further as I felt a bit ill. Am I jumping to conclusions or is he being a twat again? There were about 5 emails in the last 2 days saying xxx had sent you a message. I didn't look any further back in his emails. I want to beleive it's spam but part of me he doubts.

punkpuffin Wed 14-Jun-17 19:05:27

Bollocks name change fail

NotTheFordType Wed 14-Jun-17 19:14:30

Whats the problem here sorry?

LexieLulu Wed 14-Jun-17 19:15:07

He might be looking as he misses sex, but would he actually have the time to do the deed?

Other side of argument, you don't get those type of spam emails without being on those sites x

punkpuffin Wed 14-Jun-17 19:18:15

Ford the problem I it looks like he registered on a dating/whatever website.

Brahms3rdracket Wed 14-Jun-17 21:56:03

I think he has registered if he's received messages of that type, however it could easily be walking material only. From what you've said he would probably struggle to find the time for a hook up.

Brahms3rdracket Wed 14-Jun-17 21:57:26

Wanking not walking

MisterDog Thu 15-Jun-17 07:22:06

Hi Op, I'm not saying he hasn't registered but in my experience these websites sometimes send spam emails like those you described. I had one recently from Jewish singles or something similar stating that I had received a message from another user..... I had never heard to the website prior to that so definitely possible that it's spam.

Jellybean85 Thu 15-Jun-17 08:09:28

Disagree that you can't get those messages without registering!
I receive lots from sketchy 'dating' sites.

"X missed you today and can't wait to talk again"

"Hot singles in your area waiting to hook up now"

Sometimes there are peoples photos.
I have never signed up for anything like that, its in among other spam.

It's about context though. If he has form for messing about it's more suspicious

NotTheFordType Sat 17-Jun-17 10:37:45

But you don't want sex and he does so what's the problem if he has a discreet hookup?

Sn0tnose Sat 17-Jun-17 12:03:17

But you don't want sex and he does so what's the problem if he has a discreet hookup? Seriously Ford?? The OP hasn't said she doesn't want sex. She's said that she's currently pregnant with a debilitating back injury that requires an operation. As it doesn't seem to be obvious, her concern is that her husband (the man who promised to be faithful to her) is unable to keep his dick in his trousers for the relatively short period of time it will take for his wife and the mother of his children to recover.

Sn0tnose Sat 17-Jun-17 12:08:45

Actually Ford, I apologise for being so rude. I still think it was an insensitive comment to make, but I could, and should, have been more polite about it.

punkpuffin Sat 17-Jun-17 16:01:48

Ford really? I'm unable to have sex (I would actually love sex but can't) so it's ok for my husband to have dex with someone else?

ImperialBlether Sat 17-Jun-17 16:13:18

I think that you can get spam which tells you you have a message, so that you then click on a link. That's completely different from eg Match.com sending you an email saying someone's sent you a message.

Given his past form I'd say he's signed up. He'll tell you he never intended to meet anyone, but that will never be proven, in all likelihood.

keepingonrunning Sat 17-Jun-17 16:27:38

Can you check if he is really spending all those extra hours at work?

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